Are you single or in a relationship?

  • Male and single.

    Votes: 54 48.2%
  • Female and single.

    Votes: 40 35.7%
  • Non-binary and single.

    Votes: 4 3.6%
  • Male and in a relationship.

    Votes: 4 3.6%
  • Female and in a relationship.

    Votes: 8 7.1%
  • Non-binary and in a relationship.

    Votes: 2 1.8%

  • Total voters
    112
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,434
So- I've noticed in another thread, a guy presumed that most women here were in relationships and I was curious to find out... If you feel like sharing of course...

I'm also curious to see just how many people are single. I don't actually think ideation is limited to those who are alone. I just wonder if it's more prevalent.

Finally- I want to apologise if I've missed anyone out in terms of gender orientation. It wasn't deliberate. I've tried to represent everyone- It's naivity rather than purposeful discrimination... I've avoided sexual orientation because I thought it more likely I would end up excluding someone out of naivity. Not that this is meant as a battle of the sexes type thread either. I truly am just curious as to how ideation affects people.

Obviously- the poll would reveal gender and relationship status- so- if you'd rather keep that private- please don't take part.
 
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Holu

Holu

Hypomania go brrr
Apr 5, 2023
669
Ngl, at first I thought this guy commenting on most women are in relationships was just another "lonely dude vs women" moment, but I will admit I've seen a ton of posts with women in relationships. Not to say I haven't also seen a fair amount of single women posts or men in relationships either.

Overall, it's an interesting question! Relationships bring about a whole new wave of problems. I think it would also be interesting to see how many people here are single but have exes.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,434
Ngl, at first I thought this guy commenting on most women are in relationships was just another "lonely dude vs women" moment, but I will admit I've seen a ton of posts with women in relationships. Not to say I haven't also seen a fair amount of single women posts or men in relationships either.

Overall, it's an interesting question! Relationships bring about a whole new wave of problems. I think it would also be interesting to see how many people here are single but have exes.

Yeah- I'm genuinely interested too and I think you may be right. I get the sense there are lots of women with partners but plenty are single too. There are a fair few men in relationships here too.

Very true- relationships themselves can be the reason people are here to begin with! Plus honestly- I truly pity people who have significant others but are battling with ideation. It's a tricky argument really- you could say many people are here BECAUSE of their isolation and loneliness. PERHAPS if they had met someone- things may have turned out differently. It doesn't SAVE everyone though. Plenty of people here feel alone despite having partners or living with family. In some ways, I think that's got to feel worse. Plus- you've got the added anxiety of not wanting to hurt them if you do decide to CTB.

You do occasionally get people say the whole: 'Well- at least you have someone that cares about you.' That is kind of understandable. It can feel desperately lonely to have no one. Still- I think it's more complex than that. I think many suicidal people feel like they're a husk of who they were. Really- their partners or family are likely still in love with the person they were before ideation really took hold but if neither can get that person back- I don't know- I just think it must feel like a tie that doesn't REALLY give them support- because they can't. But- there's still so much anxiety in breaking that tie. That's one impression I get anyhow.
 
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Holu

Holu

Hypomania go brrr
Apr 5, 2023
669
You do occasionally get people say the whole: 'Well- at least you have someone that cares about you.' That is kind of understandable. It can feel desperately lonely to have no one.
This is kinda just another disconnect we have in this forum. I think a lot of lonely people including myself, desire relationships because it seems almost like a one solution "cure all", where your problems magically fade. What you must consider about the people who are suicidal in a relationship is that they have this "cure all" and are still so plagued with illness and ideation that they still want to die. Bottom line is that, partner(s) or no partner(s), some of people are just fucked from the start. No reason to add extra weight on their plate by guilt shaming them to that person.

Also lookin at the votes atm, seems like we are all single and lonely lmao
 
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H.O.Xan

Experienced
Feb 1, 2023
278
So from the votes, it's an overwhelming, almost double men who are single. Wow. But I've dated in the past. Single now. Would like to date casually again. A lot of ppl ask me y i'm not w/ any1 atm. I don't talk abt it, since it's mainly to try and piss me off
 
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Holu

Holu

Hypomania go brrr
Apr 5, 2023
669
So from the votes, it's an overwhelming, almost double men who are single. Wow. But I've dated in the past. Single now. Would like to date casually again. A lot of ppl ask me y i'm not w/ any1 atm. I don't talk abt it, since it's mainly to try and piss me off
I'd wait a bit but regardless it's gonna be skewed towards men. It's late, and statistically men tend to stay up later. Not to mention the fact that there are slightly more men in the world, as well as the fact that men tend to CTB more often.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,434
So from the votes, it's an overwhelming, almost double men who are single. Wow. But I've dated in the past. Single now. Would like to date casually again. A lot of ppl ask me y i'm not w/ any1 atm. I don't talk abt it, since it's mainly to try and piss me off

Yeah, it may well be that the men here are predominantly single and that the women here are predominantly in relationships. I'm really not sure to be honest. It will be interesting to find out.

As for people who are single but are very seriously considering CTB, they may well not want to get involved with a person only to hurt them in the long term.
 
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Holu

Holu

Hypomania go brrr
Apr 5, 2023
669
Yeah, it may well be that the men here are predominantly single and that the women here are predominantly in relationships. I'm really not sure to be honest. It will be interesting to find out.

As for people who are single but are very seriously considering CTB, they may well not want to get involved with a person only to hurt them in the long term.
I fear the ramifications it will have on the incel community ngl but I'm curious to oO
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,434
I'd wait a bit but regardless it's gonna be skewed towards men. It's late, and statistically men tend to stay up later. Not to mention the fact that there are slightly more men in the world, as well as the fact that men tend to CTB more often.

Depends where you are in the world 😉. It's morning for me... True- the statistics show men SUCCESSFULLY CTB more often in most countries (not all.) I have a feeling that statistically- more women are diagnosed with depression and ATTEMPT more than men though. It's just 'we' maybe don't choose such efficient methods. With things like SN now available (sort of)- it will be interesting to see if that starts to change.

I'm actually curious in general as to the male/female split here. I wonder if it's equal. Again- this site isn't just about commiting suicide. This is talking about it too- something which- sadly- men in particular I think aren't encouraged to do.
I fear the ramifications it will have on the incel community ngl but I'm curious to oO

Hmm- are you only refering to male incels, or do you think women can be incels too? I find it an interesting issue. Do men consider themselves to be incels if they can't get ANY woman to be in a relationship with them and/ or sleep with them? Or- is it when they are rejected by the women they PARTICULARLY go for? In which case- women can surely be incels too. If the guys they go for reject them. Really then- anyone is an incel who can't seem to attract the people they like- regardless of gender.
 
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D

DynamicDepression

Deranged
Mar 28, 2022
352
As for people who are single but are very seriously considering CTB, they may well not want to get involved with a person only to hurt them in the long term.
That's something like my situation. I was in a relationship for three and a half years with a wonderful guy (I'm a gay dude) but I had to break it up because I do not want to hurt him when I CTB. I already spent half of our relationship being intensively suicidal and it wasn't right of me to keep leading him on in my delusions that we could ever have a future together.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,434
That's something like my situation. I was in a relationship for three and a half years with a wonderful guy (I'm a gay dude) but I had to break it up because I do not want to hurt him when I CTB. I already spent half of our relationship being intensively suicidal and it wasn't right of me to keep leading him on in my delusions that we could ever have a future together.

I'm so sorry. It's just so sad. I don't think people realise it's as simple as- find friends/partners, build relationships, get better. I think many people here feel there's a strong likelihood that they won't get better- no matter what. I wish people would actually recognise how selfless it is for people to deny themselves that comfort from others- because they don't want to hurt them in the long run.
 
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Holu

Holu

Hypomania go brrr
Apr 5, 2023
669
Depends where you are in the world 😉. It's morning for me... True- the statistics show men SUCCESSFULLY CTB more often in most countries (not all.) I have a feeling that statistically- more women are diagnosed with depression and ATTEMPT more than men though. It's just 'we' maybe don't choose such efficient methods. With things like SN now available (sort of)- it will be interesting to see if that starts to change.

I'm actually curious in general as to the male/female split here. I wonder if it's equal. Again- this site isn't just about commiting suicide. This is talking about it too- something which- sadly

Hmm- are you only refering to male incels, or do you think women can be incels too? I find it an interesting issue. Do men consider themselves to be incels if they can't get ANY woman to be in a relationship with them and/ or sleep with them? Or- is it when they are rejected by the women they PARTICULARLY go for? In which case- women can surely be incels too. If the guys they go for reject them. Really then- anyone is an incel who can't seem to attract the people they like- regardless of gender.
Women statistically are more likely to be depressed. That being said, you have to consider certain factors, one of which being the societal ideology that "men don't cry". Men are less likely to reach out, and as a result are less likely to be diagnosed with depression. Additionally, this societal relationship of men being more independent and women being more interdependent plays a role of suicides, as by logic, women are more likely to have supports preventing suicides. Ultimately, this is all speculation, and whatever your personal reasons for this paradox of more depressed women, more suicides in men is up to your own opinion.

As for incels, I'm referring to male incels in this case, as it's not uncommon for them to see more women in relationships and start using that as a piece of evidence to support their misguided beliefs. That's not me saying there aren't an abundant of KAM/all men are evil female incels(Altho since women are statistically less likely to be single it's more proper to call them just sexist rather than incel), just me referring to in this specific scenario, male incels.
 
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winamp

Enlightened
May 20, 2023
1,358
I'm glad someone made this thread because I am always shocked when users say that they are married not that there's a lot of married users to my knowledge but I have seen at least 2 or 3 people mention that they were married
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,434
Women statistically are more likely to be depressed. That being said, you have to consider certain factors, one of which being the societal ideology that "men don't cry". Men are less likely to reach out, and as a result are less likely to be diagnosed with depression. Additionally, this societal relationship of men being more independent and women being more interdependent plays a role of suicides, as by logic, women are more likely to have supports preventing suicides. Ultimately, this is all speculation, and whatever your personal reasons for this paradox of more depressed women, more suicides in men is up to your own opinion.

As for incels, I'm referring to male incels in this case, as it's not uncommon for them to see more women in relationships and start using that as a piece of evidence to support their misguided beliefs. That's not me saying there aren't an abundant of KAM all men are evil female incels(Altho since women are statistically less likely to be single it's more proper to call them just sexist rather than incel), just me referring to in this specific scenario, male incels.

Yes- very fair points. I think this ridiculous pressure on men to not ask for help may partly be why things get so bad that they do kill themselves- which is terrible- if they could have been helped. I expect you're right- perhaps women are more likely to reach out for help because it's not so stigmatized to do so.

Realistically- it's not like this poll is going to be very representative of anything to be honest! Generally, polls here don't get more than maybe 100 votes before being buried under other posts (in my experience.)

Yes- I expect we can all make the numbers reinforce our own beliefs. It could be interpreted that- if there aren't that many males in relationships using the site- that those relationships are making them 'happy'. (Not necessarily true of course!)

You have to bear in mind that the likelihood is people here are likely suicidal though. So- if the women here are mainly in relationships- they are suicidal despite being in a relationship! I expect 'incels' could interpret this to mean- Women don't need men. Men can't 'save' them... Incels don't only seem to hate women. They seem to hate themselves too- what they perceive they've been forced to become- worthless. I'd REALLY disagree with that though.

I'd probably argue that NO ONE can really 'save' another person- not if they are really this stuck, or, hell bent on self destruction. I think it's a lot more complicated than that. I don't think it can or should be up to someone to 'save' someone else. Definitely- they should care and provide support. The actual change though- I feel has to come from within the person who is struggling. I suppose I do actually believe that really cheesy cliche- that you need to love yourself first. If someone TRULY sees no value, no hope, no openness to change- what can anyone possibly do to bring them out of that?
 
voc_89

voc_89

Experienced
Apr 10, 2023
237
Have had a few gfs and several flings (just sex). Been single from about April 2021. This is by choice as I realised all I was doing was 'hurting' those I was with by giving them an illusion that what we had would last forever when I knew, upon the first sign of me really getting close to them, I was going to cut it off. It may sound confusing but, based on how my first ever relationship went (the only woman outside from immediate family that I loved), I was dumped when I started to 'take the mask off'. It was then that I realised that I myself was too damaged for any good woman to want me. That was in 2012. I've had many life successes since then, making me a more attractive option for women hence my success in bedding. But I can't give them what they want (a stable guy) and more and more the women I meet want kids and I would never put one with me as I know my urge to CTB will only end when my life ends. Its unfair to waste a woman's limited time to have kids knowing I will not commit nor want to have a kid as I know what its like to lose a parent.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,434
I'm glad someone made this thread because I am always shocked when users say that they are married not that there's a lot of married users to my knowledge but I have seen at least 2 or 3 people mention that they were married

Honestly- yeah- it can shock me too but then- it is because it plays into my rather naive, fairytale idea of having a partner. I definitely used to assume that it would make my life feel happier. Still- not all relationships are good! Some turn out to be toxic. Plus- very sadly- certain bad things are probably just too powerful. It does actually break my heart when people here are in bits because they don't want to leave their partner but they can't go on either.
 
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voc_89

voc_89

Experienced
Apr 10, 2023
237
Yes- very fair points. I think this ridiculous pressure on men to not ask for help may partly be why things get so bad that they do kill themselves- which is terrible- if they could have been helped. I expect you're right- perhaps women are more likely to reach out for help because it's not so stigmatized to do so.
Many times thats because we get dismissed. "What are you on about? MAN UP!?" Lmao. Most adult males you tell your issues to resond that way. Hence why men continue to keep it in as, rejection hurts. Especially when its so dismissive for what you know is a serious issue
 
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Holu

Holu

Hypomania go brrr
Apr 5, 2023
669
Yes- very fair points. I think this ridiculous pressure on men to not ask for help may partly be why things get so bad that they do kill themselves- which is terrible- if they could have been helped. I expect you're right- perhaps women are more likely to reach out for help because it's not so stigmatized to do so.

Realistically- it's not like this poll is going to be very representative of anything to be honest! Generally, polls here don't get more than maybe 100 votes before being buried under other posts (in my experience.)

Yes- I expect we can all make the numbers reinforce our own beliefs. It could be interpreted that- if there aren't that many males in relationships using the site- that those relationships are making them 'happy'. (Not necessarily true of course!)

You have to bear in mind that the likelihood is people here are likely suicidal though. So- if the women here are mainly in relationships- they are suicidal despite being in a relationship! I expect 'incels' could interpret this to mean- Women don't need men. Men can't 'save' them... Incels don't only seem to hate women. They seem to hate themselves too- what they perceive they've been forced to become- worthless. I'd REALLY disagree with that though.

I'd probably argue that NO ONE can really 'save' another person- not if they are really this stuck, or, hell bent on self destruction. I think it's a lot more complicated than that. I don't think it can or should be up to someone to 'save' someone else. Definitely- they should care and provide support. The actual change though- I feel has to come from within the person who is struggling. I suppose I do actually believe that really cheesy cliche- that you need to love yourself first. If someone TRULY sees no value, no hope, no openness to change- what can anyone possibly do to bring them out of that?
Idk. The incel posts I've seen on this sight are far from pleasant and target the women on this site. It's one thing to be generally bitter to the idea of women and another to argue with and harass them. Also, you would think incels would make that connection but again idk.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,434
Many times thats because we get dismissed. "What are you on about? MAN UP!?" Lmao. Most adult males you tell your issues to resond that way. Hence why men continue to keep it in as, rejection hurts. Especially when its so dismissive for what you know is a serious issue

Absolutely- and it's appalling! I've been watching Supersize vs. Superskinny on YouTube recently (a UK TV programme) and part of it looks at eating disorders. This poor guy had gone to his doctor and described the very obvious symptoms of bulimia. The doctor responded by telling him it was depression because 'men don't suffer from eating disorders.' Another guy said he had picked up a leaflet on anorexia and it said- 'when you drop below a certain weight, your periods may stop.' I agree- it REALLY isn't helpful or supportive the way men are treated when they are brave enough to ask for help.
 
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_Alfarooq_

_Alfarooq_

Useless bastard almost making the decision to CTB.
Jul 24, 2023
291
So- I've noticed in another thread, a guy presumed that most women here were in relationships and I was curious to find out... If you feel like sharing of course...

I'm also curious to see just how many people are single. I don't actually think ideation is limited to those who are alone. I just wonder if it's more prevalent.

Finally- I want to apologise if I've missed anyone out in terms of gender orientation. It wasn't deliberate. I've tried to represent everyone- It's naivity rather than purposeful discrimination... I've avoided sexual orientation because I thought it more likely I would end up excluding someone out of naivity. Not that this is meant as a battle of the sexes type thread either. I truly am just curious as to how ideation affects people.

Obviously- the poll would reveal gender and relationship status- so- if you'd rather keep that private- please don't take part.
I am single, of course. I don't even have friends, let alone rizz. I can't get girls. I am alone and lonely suffering alone. Trying to find the comfort of others on this site. I'm going to go. I'm going to disappear from this world very soon.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,434
Idk. The incel posts I've seen on this sight are far from pleasant and target the women on this site. It's one thing to be generally bitter to the idea of women and another to argue with and harass them. Also, you would think incels would make that connection but again idk.

Yeah- that's something I don't entirely get. As in- a lot of women I know are quite perceptive- including me- to some extent (hopefully.) We can usually spot it if someone has resentment towards us. Why would anyone want to be with someone who resented them somewhere inside? I expect that would lead to lots of other unpleasant traits- insecurity leading to distrust and jealousy possibly leading to manipulation and controlling behaviour. Perhaps even violence. I simply think a lot of women don't want to risk being in a relationship that COULD end up psychologically/ physically abusive. Why should they even risk it?!!

I wouldn't dismiss that for SOME women- it will be about how good looking someone is and how much they earn. Just like- for SOME men it will be all about looks and youth. Still- I wouldn't be surprised if perceiving resentment/ entitlement in a guy is JUST as bigger issue for women when they decide to reject certain men. Just my opinion though. Not like I have much experience!
 
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H.O.Xan

Experienced
Feb 1, 2023
278
Have had a few gfs and several flings (just sex). Been single from about April 2021. This is by choice as I realised all I was doing was 'hurting' those I was with by giving them an illusion that what we had would last forever when I knew, upon the first sign of me really getting close to them, I was going to cut it off. It may sound confusing but, based on how my first ever relationship went (the only woman outside from immediate family that I loved), I was dumped when I started to 'take the mask off'. It was then that I realised that I myself was too damaged for any good woman to want me. That was in 2012. I've had many life successes since then, making me a more attractive option for women hence my success in bedding. But I can't give them what they want (a stable guy) and more and more the women I meet want kids and I would never put one with me as I know my urge to CTB will only end when my life ends. Its unfair to waste a woman's limited time to have kids knowing I will not commit nor want to have a kid as I know what its like to lose a parent.

Ion get why most women r hardwired to jump to wanting kids. Like it's rare to see women who just want the relationship, the high life, the sex
 
NumbItAll

NumbItAll

expendable
May 20, 2018
1,100
so alone that it would actually be a red flag if anyone took interest in me, and i would feel sorry for them for settling for a loser
 
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MissionSucksAssFul

MissionSucksAssFul

Any help I can offer is gladly given :)
Mar 2, 2023
109
SaSu dating app when?
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,434
SaSu dating app when?

Lol- it does make you wonder doesn't it? If all the lonely people out there found one another, could maybe at least some of us turn things around? Not just on SaSu- life in general. I always think of the Beatles song lyric from 'Eleanor Rigby':

'Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby
Died in the church and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father McKenzie
Wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave

No one was saved.'

Such a sad song. ☹️ I wonder for how many of us it will be like that.

Still- it's a shame the internet and the world isn't a safer place. People sadly take a real risk when they agree to meet someone in real life. Not just from here- anywhere. But yeah- people have ended up being sexually assaulted and even murdered. Kind of off putting!
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,359
Of course I am. I would rather avoid other people anyway and don't have any interest in being around them. And in general I just don't think that other people can be trusted and relied on, other people just very often create more suffering.
 
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Professor K

Professor K

your eyes vacant and stained
Feb 9, 2023
225
0% male in relationship, damn.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,434
0% male in relationship, damn.
I do know of one or two here that are... Maybe I should have given the thread a different title... Seems like it's mostly a single's club at the moment!
 
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Sweet Tart

Sweet Tart

Arcanist
May 10, 2023
452
SaSu dating app when?
This reminds me of the movie The Lobster! I think a SaSu dating app would actually be a more hopeful place than the matchmaking system people used as a last resort in the movie.

One thing I want to say about the meaning of the numbers in the poll: many women (and all kinds of people) in relationships are abused by their partners and the relationship itself can easily be the reason married women and other partnered people are here.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,434
This reminds me of the movie The Lobster! I think a SaSu dating app would actually be a more hopeful place than the matchmaking system people used as a last resort in the movie.

One thing I want to say about the meaning of the numbers in the poll: many women (and all kinds of people) in relationships are abused by their partners and the relationship itself can easily be the reason married women and other partnered people are here.

That was such a bizarre film but I enjoyed it. I thought the ending was amazing! That's true love!
 
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