Discussion How are you guys able to find people you enjoy talking to?

[Quantum_Marten0302]

I have never been around a single person I enjoyed talking to. Ive had very few people in the past that i talked to but i disliked them due to their behaviors and the lack of relation between us. I have tried to talk to people over the internet but they're very self absorbed and seem to not be interested in what I have to say at all or aren't looking for a connection as deep as I'd like it to be and just want to talk about surface level things or jolly everyday stuff that normal people talk about even though they claim to be suffering. All of them also had past relationships, friendships they cared about, have family members they care about etc etc and I've never had anything like that. I feel completely isolated and alone and I just can't seem to relate to anyone whatsoever. Is there no one out there like me?

 

[Unlucky777]

Hey, yeah I can relate but I think it's a me problem, not a people problem.

I just feel very disconnected from myself and other people right now. It didn't always used to be like this. Even people I like talking to I don't want to talk to. I've been avoiding people left and right.

Has this always been like this for you or only periodically?

 

[Pluto]

 

[mlb]

Hard agree. Out of all people i have EVER talked to, only 1 remains a constant friend and that is my partner. People change, but with all of my things i just can't find anyone who understands. Sasu helps a lot.

 

[Quantum_Marten0302]

Hey, yeah I can relate but I think it's a me problem, not a people problem.

I just feel very disconnected from myself and other people right now. It didn't always used to be like this. Even people I like talking to I don't want to talk to. I've been avoiding people left and right.

Has this always been like this for you or only periodically?

i do feel like that as well sometimes. i switch between blaming myself and others quite often. what do you mean by feeling disconnected from yourself? i dont think i can say ive felt that before. at least you like talking to certain people ig. i think i have always been like this yes. even in elementary school i was looking at other kids playing and not understanding wtf the point of doing that is. I blame my parents for this their treatment is definitely the reason i became so socially retarded

Id relate more to a lonely dog since cats dont mind being alone

 

[Grog]

I don't find many people I enjoy talking to, at all. Even people I know in real life--I'm not close to them.
I cannot relate to most people in the modern world.

 

[Scythe]

You have better odds finding friends if you stay away from all pro-life and non-mentally ill ppl. All my friends are/were mentally ill and suicidal.

 

[Quantum_Marten0302]

You have better odds finding friends if you stay away from all pro-life and non-mentally ill ppl. All my friends are/were mentally ill and suicidal.

I know, but that comes with issues as well. this has been my experience with mentally ill ppl:

they're very self absorbed and seem to not be interested in what I have to say at all

 

[Unlucky777]

what do you mean by feeling disconnected from yourself? i dont think i can say ive felt that before. at least you like talking to certain people ig. i think i have always been like this yes. even in elementary school i was looking at other kids playing and not understanding wtf the point of doing that is. I blame my parents for this their treatment is definitely the reason i became so socially retarded

Good question. What I mean by that is that for the last two years or so, I felt utterly lost, I have no sense of who I am anymore, all the things I used to enjoy I don't really enjoy anymore. The person I used to be no longer exists, he is dead. I can't even relate to myself anymore. I used to be very outgoing, I used to plan get togethers for some of my friend groups, used to organize events and get togethers. That person no longer exists.

I'm just an empty shell of my former self. I hope that makes sense.

I understand where you are coming from and I can relate somewhat because I felt exactly like you but for me those feelings went away at various points in life but now it's back again. I look at everyone and everything and question everything and my mind goes into a frenzy and I just wish I was anyone but myself. Or I didn't exist at all

 

[SASU-KE]

It's all about chemistry. Out of 10 people you talk to, you'll only like 2 of them. This applies to everyone. One more thing is you might like someone and they won't reciprocate.In the Same way They will like someone else and that other person won't reciprocate.

Takes a lot of time, effort and weeding out to find the right people for each person.

 

[Quantum_Marten0302]

It's all about chemistry. Out of 10 people you talk to, you'll only like 2 of them. This applies to everyone. One more thing is you might like someone and they won't reciprocate.In the Same way They will like someone else and that other person won't reciprocate.

Takes a lot of time, effort and weeding out to find the right people for each person.

is your signature supposed to be a joke?

 

[SASU-KE]

is your signature supposed to be a joke?

It's just from an anime that I like. If you watch it, you'll understand. It resonated pretty deeply with me. It doesn't apply to us in real life really, but I liked the way it was portrayed in the show.

 

[Quantum_Marten0302]

It's just from an anime that I like. If you watch it, you'll understand. It resonated pretty deeply with me. It doesn't apply to us in real life really, but I liked the way it was portrayed in the show.

then why are you giving me generic advice and telling me ill like 2 out of 10 people when i explicitly said i never liked anyone. It also does not take a lot of effort for most

Good question. What I mean by that is that for the last two years or so, I felt utterly lost, I have no sense of who I am anymore, all the things I used to enjoy I don't really enjoy anymore. The person I used to be no longer exists, he is dead. I can't even relate to myself anymore. I used to be very outgoing, I used to plan get togethers for some of my friend groups, used to organize events and get togethers. That person no longer exists.

I'm just an empty shell of my former self. I hope that makes sense.

I understand where you are coming from and I can relate somewhat because I felt exactly like you but for me those feelings went away at various points in life but now it's back again. I look at everyone and everything and question everything and my mind goes into a frenzy and I just wish I was anyone but myself. Or I didn't exist at all

I understand what you mean. I just like to think of myself as the human i am instead of a person. i dont care about my "personality" much or whatever else. thats how i cope with that feeling. It does come back though ofc

 

[SASU-KE]

then why are you giving me generic advice and telling me ill like 2 out of 10 people when i explicitly said i never liked anyone. It also does not take a lot of effort for most

I was just giving my opinion. I'm just trying to say that each person is unique and it's difficult to find a suitable match.

All anyone can do is give generic information.I can't give tailormade advice to you.I don't know you and I'm not a therapist either.

 

[Forever Sleep]

The people I have been closest to share a common interest and we have similar worries. I guess that's what made it effortless to talk them most of the time and hopefully, vice versa.

I tend to find friendships were/are sustainable when both people are fulfilling the other's needs. Which requires listening and being invested in the other person on both sides. I think that's where common interests can come in helpful. It's easier to be genuinely interested in something you already find interesting.

But I suppose ultimately- it's been about talking to people to find out. Plus, not having huge expectations from the start. More friendships/ conversations fizzle out rather than last. So, I try to enjoy connecting to people in the moment now rather than hope for deep connections right from the start.

 

[Unlucky777]

then why are you giving me generic advice and telling me ill like 2 out of 10 people when i explicitly said i never liked anyone. It also does not take a lot of effort for most

I understand what you mean. I just like to think of myself as the human i am instead of a person. i dont care about my "personality" much or whatever else. thats how i cope with that feeling. It does come back though ofc

got you. for me, my personality DEFINITELY changed over the years due to long term use of stupid antipsychotics and mood stabilizers i was somewhat coerced to take. that stuff will definitely destroy your soul, i know it did mine. i am where i am today MOSTLY because of that. for example, i used to be really talkative and would try to talk to everyone. nowadays, i'm the exact opposite. i don't like it at all but that is how i am at the moment and i feel empty on the inside

 

[FoxSauce]

I honestly don't really get why people like me, even though they say I'm funny. I overthink a lot, especially in relationships and friendships. Something as small as a short or neutral text can make me spiral and think I did something wrong, so I end up pulling away. I know it sounds silly when I say it out loud, but it genuinely affects my relationships.

I'm trying to work on it, and it happens less than it used to, but I still catch myself thinking people only hang out with me because they feel bad or are just being nice.

But in general being there for each other the good and the bad and just enjoy their conpany and doesnt feel like a chore . And yeah people are gonna have good things abd bad things is managing Ig?

 

[violetforever]

to answer the question in the title, i'm not. even if i did have some people i connected with in the past, it never happened by me intentionally looking for them. the last time i found someone like that was 4 years ago, before that 8 years ago, and before that 13 years ago. i only talk to 1 one of them! i've been done talking to people for a while, there is nobody so i'll just isolate.

 

[colorlesshue]

i never seek out people, they just come to me sometimes :T,, we usually jst have the same hobbies though, and i tend to meet people online most often

 

[RiftbornVeil]

I have never been around a single person I enjoyed talking to. Ive had very few people in the past that i talked to but i disliked them due to their behaviors and the lack of relation between us. I have tried to talk to people over the internet but they're very self absorbed and seem to not be interested in what I have to say at all or aren't looking for a connection as deep as I'd like it to be and just want to talk about surface level things or jolly everyday stuff that normal people talk about even though they claim to be suffering. All of them also had past relationships, friendships they cared about, have family members they care about etc etc and I've never had anything like that. I feel completely isolated and alone and I just can't seem to relate to anyone whatsoever. Is there no one out there like me?

I can understand this completely. Many conversations I have IRL aren't genuine and I often adjust myself to make who I am feel more relatable. I also feel uncomfortable opening up to people around me as I can't be the "Debbie-downer" that initiates heavy topics of discussion when all my supposed friends/acquaintances want to speak about are Taylor Swift MVs or the last pop quiz we had. I've found that finding solace in my own company helps, though yes, even that feels insufficient more and more. I wish I could be more helpful. Take care <3

 

[fuyacore]

I was whoring myself online and cry on discord server a lot. Just keep venting and venting on discord. Deep connections are rare. Given that I've been online for like 6 years now (and chronically online) I've only ever meet like 12 suicidal people who I could relate to. And found no one irl.