How many of you wanting to CTB have a significant other?

[Strangeasangels]

I am alone and often think having someone in my life who is emotionally invested in me would be a game changer but i find most people are cold and selfish. That leaves me hopeless which the lack of contributes to my state of despondency.

I wonder how many people here are in a relationship. If you are, does your SO know you come here?

 

[Blackjack]

My husband doesn't know I come here, he'd be crushed.

 

[Rachel74]

My partner. He knows I want to go and I think the kindest thing would be to just leave him.

 

[nonamebrand1]

i have a wife that doesn't know.

 

[RedPanda]

Well my dad has no idea i'm on here regularly...

 

[TowerUpright]

My wife doesn't know I'm on.

 

[erehbus]

I've talked about all my attempts with my GF, and she knows I occasionally want to go. I think it used to help, but nowadays I just think about how it will not work out and how this just further proves I am unable to be loved.

 

[Fallen leaf]

Wife and three children they dont know I'm on here but I am doing this for them . I love them so much I will do anything for them

 

[Soulless_Angel]

husband, who knows I visit this place, at first he was unsure but now he know's more about it, he is understanding, of course he doesn't want me to CTB and think's I am over that stage, but yea I am here for my reasons

 

[Swoods]

My wife knows I am ready to check out but is against it. I have a vacation scheduled with her and ctb when we get back. She will be pissed but she knows I have my reasons.

 

[Taki]

I failed to find anyone. I could view this thread on a 70" TV in my living room and it wouldn't matter lol. And yes if I had someone (and it was going well) I'd feel differently. But that isn't going to happen.

 

[Fallen_From_Grace]

I have an abusive husband. If he saw me looking at this right now, he wouldn't be surprised if he saw me looking at this, he knows that I'm suicidal.

 

[JTG1972]

My wife worries about me, but I've done my best to hide the depths of my troubles from her. I'm already hurting her enough without adding guilt for what I might do, before I even do it.

 

[Sans]

Part of the reason I want to CTB is because I don't have a significant other. I have no one. At least I won't have to worry about that part.

 

[Lefty]

I don't have a S/O. However I don't think having a gf would change my mind all that much. I'm not opposed to it, but sometimes it is easier to being single. Though at the same time, having a nice, caring gf sounds nice.

 

[Pykul]

I did. When she decided she didn't want to be anymore, that's when the slide downhill began. Ten miserable years ago..

 

[eve2004]

I'm widowed but have a close male friend who is also suicidal but less than me. He knows I'm fucked up and would do anything to help. He doesn't know I'm on here and will never know (unless he lands here himself...). He is so supportive of me he's the only person I might feel guilty about leaving but at the same time he would understand.

 

[Taetre]

I live with my GF, she's great but she doesn't know about my burning desire to die every single minute i'm alive. I know she would be crushed if i CTB and it makes me feel even worse, she doesn't deserve any suffering.

 

[LittleJem]

I have a boyfriend - I do love him, but when I am depressed, I avoid him. I don't want to inflict my misery on anyone else. Hiding in my room now. He knows I might decide to CTB. Occasionally I beg him to strangle me and throw me in the river (he lives on a boat). But he refuses to help!

 

[Enabran255]

Nobody. I've come tantalizingly close at times in my life only to have it snatched away at the last second. At the times when I've foolishly thought I had a chance at succeeding, they were by far the happiest in my life. It's just been one cruel joke after another. At this point, given my age, deteriorating health, and permanent unemployability in the modern workplace, I doubt I'll ever experience what it's like to have mutual feelings of love and affection.

 

[Mr2005]

Nobody, and never have.

I find it hard to relate to the 90% + here that have partners. It's pretty much the same with any mental health forums. I know I shouldn't, but I feel like my situation (and those like me) is so much worse.

90% here don't have partners and that's their issue. That can be fixed. If you have one and still want to die then you're kinda fucked

 

[Let'sgetoutofHERE]

I don't have a S/O. However I don't think having a gf would change my mind all that much. I'm not opposed to it, but sometimes it is easier to being single. Though at the same time, having a nice, caring gf sounds nice.

This could have been written by me!

 

[Mr2005]

^ I think we all want what we don't have. For you it's a partner, for me it's my youth back and I feel deeply envious of anyone in their late teens. For my partner it's anyone with a baby. The list goes on

 

[Mr2005]

^
For sure and it gets frustrating when other peoples problems seem petty by comparison. On the plus side they can be helped because unfortunately I can't talk to my past self. No it wasn't a dig at you, I made no assumptions

 

[trynacbt]

I had an S/O but I broke up with him because I knew I was incapable of giving him what he deserves. I needed him too much, depended on him too much, and he deserves a partner who can be an equal to him, love him and give to him more fully than I can.

 

[Scooby-Doo]

I'm alone, isolated myself from family etc. Just taking things 1 day at a time but getting tired of it now. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to snap out of it and only so long I can carry on like this.

 

[Hyakkimaru]

I have an abusive husband. If he saw me looking at this right now, he wouldn't be surprised if he saw me looking at this, he knows that I'm suicidal.

I'm so so so so sorry, this is the exact reason I'm on here, my father and my step father were both abusive, my mind is failing me and I don't want to hurt anyone, I don't want to be like them, because of all of it, it brought out really bad delusions in me. On my biological fathers side about 5 or 6 people have schizophrenia and I'm terrified, I know I'm predisposed to it, I just don't want to hurt anyone

 

[LonelyLight]

I have a partner who has no idea

 

[pandora]

I have a boyfriend who knows I come to this website, and tries to understand. He has his own struggles, so I tend to keep mine to myself. I also have an elementary school aged child, so that is what has kept me here so far.

 

[Return2Dust]

I have a partner. He doesn't know I'm on here. He'll be crushed when I go, but I can't continue living to make someone else happy and comfortable.