How many of you want to ctb mainly because of anxiety/panic?

[IWantToSleep]

That's my question. My main problem has always been anxiety and panic rather than depression, depression came after it.

 

[Tonight634]

Same here, been suffering from anxiety since I was 11, then I've experienced some mean comments and those completely killed my self esteem and overall my confidence that I could do anything...Then came the depression

 

[FuneralCry]

I can relate to this. I have been anxiety prone all my life and I had it really bad as a teenager. I constantly overthink and this has limited my ability to cope with anything in this life. It has probably lead me where I am today. I just think the mind likes to torture us.

 

[WornOutLife]

Well, I really hate anxiety but I think my main reason to ctb implies something more general.

I mean, I just find this world and universe pointless. Why is there something rather than nothing? Why can't we really have all the answers about the origin of everything? How can some people think there's a God when there's so much suffering on Earth? What's the point of existing if you're just gonna get older, sick and die?

I guess I'm just not into existence. (unless I get the answers I seek)

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

Yes me, I am full of anxiety it ruins everything I am so stressed out about such simple things that most people just get on with without a thought or care. It ruins all my relationships there is no way I can have a healthy relationship with anyone, it has ruined the only one I really wanted my whole life. I am a paranoid mess like the stasi if it was a person. It causes depressive feelings for me, I wish I did not feel this way but I can't stop it, pills help a bit, but ultimately it's always there and when I get stressed it comes to the fore yet again to ruin something else.

Nearly everything I worry about never even happens, I do not understand this insurance policy my brain has enforced on me, I don't need it it spoils everything. I wish I could just be normal. OCD has me acting like a freak when I am worried it is so embarrassing. "Touch this thing on a good thought or your cat will die". So many stupid stupid things I don't want to even think about that I have done in the past.

Give me my life over without the anxiety and I bet I would have a decent life, maybe I wouldn't but it would be a lot more enjoyable than this one, it makes me so angry too because I do not understand why other people do not share my concerns.

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

My main reason is existential depression, because I find life pointless.

But sure, anxiety is also one of my reasons, just not the biggest one.