• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    šŸ‘‰ View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
overmorrow

overmorrow

it hurts so bad, i can taste it
Oct 15, 2024
262
do you struggle with your body or face?

do you like the way you look? have you ever felt like self image was one of the main reasons you wanted to ctb?
 
  • Like
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: daruino, stardewwindceres, darksouls and 7 others
vanillamilkshakes

vanillamilkshakes

Aspiring Corpse
Aug 26, 2024
608
I wouldn't say it's one of the main reasons why I wish to CTB, but it certainly doesn't help.

I have Pectus Excavatum, with a severe case. (Example PIC) It leaves me with a deep hole in my chest, which is noticeable even while wearing T-shirts, so I'm pretty much always wearing a thick hoodie. I despise going to the Beach, Pool, or anywhere where you usually remove your shirt.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Trakehner, stardewwindceres, darksouls and 5 others
58Alice85

58Alice85

Autogynephile
Aug 31, 2025
378
yeah f****** XY chromosomes
have to completely dress up, shave entire body, do hair and make up
and i still have no tits
luckily i am short and i am actually able to pass!
lots of tall people with my condition ctb themselves
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: MissAbyss, Trakehner, GhostInTheMachine and 6 others
struggles_inc

struggles_inc

life is a highway and i wanna wreck my car
Jun 24, 2023
470
Neither do nor don't. I have been bullied for my natural appearance — I have a crooked nose, square jaw and big eyebrows. I have also been bullied for the traits I acquired such as weight, hair length and color.

It used to upset me but not anymore. I don't hate myself, I hate the perception of myself and the constant expectation from others that I am willing to prove my worth when I am not.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Bestrafer, stardewwindceres, darksouls and 4 others
$

$ixty-2wo

Member
Oct 23, 2025
60
I struggle with both body and face. Body because I wish I was bigger, taller, stronger, like a real man. Face because I look like a 14 year old. It's not my main reason for CTB but it contributes to a lot of daily stress.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: stardewwindceres, woodlandcreature, darksouls and 2 others
NutOrat

NutOrat

Falling Down
Jun 11, 2025
310
There are many reasons, but my body is a significant one I'd say. Nearly every card I've been dealt is a complete opposite of what I want to look like. And worst of all, people tell me I look good because I'm masculine and stuff, which is supposed to mean good. I can't ever tell them that that's not what I want, I'd be laughed at and ridiculed. Also I'm overweight and can't keep a diet, so...

luckily i am short and i am actually able to pass!
lots of tall people with my condition ctb themselves

Imo height should not be a factor. Really, in a perfect world nothing should be a factor, there shouldn't be a concept of "passing".
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: stardewwindceres, darksouls and overmorrow
Terrible_Life

Terrible_Life

Warlock
Jul 3, 2025
712
do you struggle with your body or face?

do you like the way you look? have you ever felt like self image was one of the main reasons you wanted to ctb?
Just don't give a damn what other people think of you. When they laugh or say something bad then those people are peaces of shit and not worth to get your attention. Be who you are.
 
  • Like
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: Bestrafer, stardewwindceres, darksouls and 4 others
struggles_inc

struggles_inc

life is a highway and i wanna wreck my car
Jun 24, 2023
470
Really, in a perfect world nothing should be a factor, there shouldn't be a concept of "passing".

Passing is a made up concept used to pressure people. Works not only in terms of appearance — it's just the most blatant form.
Just don't give a damn what other people think of you. When they laugh or say something bad then those people are peaces of shit and not worth to get your attention. Be who you are.
Facts.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: stardewwindceres, darksouls, NutOrat and 1 other person
Irisse

Irisse

Art belongs to Maksn (on yt)
Sep 8, 2025
506
Every time someone calls me "ma'am" because of my looks, another ten minutes of suffering get added to my lifespan.
I am 25 but due to weight gain I look 40. Also due to stress from being abused for so long. And my hairstyle doesn't help.
Not the main reason for ctb but it's up there.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: stardewwindceres, woodlandcreature, 58Alice85 and 5 others
AltF4Mylife

AltF4Mylife

Member
Oct 10, 2025
52
I do
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: stardewwindceres, darksouls, Hadnafoflife and 3 others
Greyhawk

Greyhawk

Student
Jan 3, 2025
171
Yes, It's one of the main reasons why I feel the need to CTB and feel hopeless because I can't change all of my physical defects. I think my face is hideous most of the time and some days I think it's ok. I'm weak, my feet are slightly asymmetrical and it sometimes causes me pain when I take long walks (which is irritating because It's one of the only things in life I still enjoy). I also have a less severe case of pectus excavatum.

Overall, I'm so disgusted with my body that I'll never go to a beach or take off my shirt in a public place. I used to cut on my thigh so I also have to be really careful if I wear shorts to not reveal the scars.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Ashu, stardewwindceres, darksouls and 2 others
PI3.14

PI3.14

what is chaos to the fly is normal to the spider
Oct 4, 2024
554
I do, body mostly, never was happy being short, I wouldn't mind if I was a woman, but unfortunately I'm a dude.

It's one of the main reasons why I want to CTB.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: stardewwindceres, NutOrat, darksouls and 1 other person
Macedonian1987

Macedonian1987

Just a sad guy from Macedonia.
Oct 22, 2025
979
I never struggled with body image, even though up until the age of 16 I was a living breathing skeleton, and my parents and the students in my highschool often ridiculed and mocked me about it. Luckily I didn't care about what they said about me.
Then I started eating more and exercising and I had a body that wasn't all that bad. In fact a lot of women found me attractive at that time, but due to my Asperger's I never formed a long lasting relationship :aw: and I had many heartbreaks. Then my multi-joint chronic pain came, and I stopped exercising altogether and my metabolism slowed. So i have not so broad shoulders and a beer-belly.

Here are some photos of how I looked like, just a year before my chronic pain ruined my life. On these photos I'm aged 30-31.

Ere
Er2
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Greyhawk, Trakehner, monkeysee2 and 6 others
H

Hadnafoflife

Member
Nov 2, 2025
70
It is sure a factor, My body doesn't respond that well to exercise from how I frayed my nervous system so many times and I'm 84 kilos due to my diet, I don't like my face as well
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: overmorrow, stardewwindceres and darksouls
Cauliflour

Cauliflour

I'm the doodler, I make terrible doodles.
Mar 24, 2025
717
Damn you all have actually good reasons and shit and I'm here like "I don't have any stab wound scars on my torso..."

My ideal body is just me but I look like I used my skin as a chopping board all over me. I like to look at photos of other people's cutting scars and I've made a couple mood boards to help inspire me. It's surprisingly easy to come across photos of scars so deep they need stitches cause PSAs on mental health websites love to plaster photos I guess as an attempt to scare off the 14 year olds. Oh and that tattoo subreddit, that has quite a few people asking about how to cover old scars.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: darksouls and overmorrow
trashisland

trashisland

outsider
Aug 5, 2025
140
every time I look at myself I look different. some days I can live with my looks in both face and body, but most days I hate it so much I think I look literally non human even if thats irrational. its definitely not my main reason to ctb but I do wish I looked better, and it does sometime cause a lot of stress for me especially as a girl. if you're unattractive its like you dont exist in the eyes of others and its a horrible way to live
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: darksouls, overmorrow and stardewwindceres
stardewwindceres

stardewwindceres

Flesh Coffin
Oct 2, 2025
108
All of the problems my body and body dysmorphia have caused me and are still causing me over the last 30ish years is definitely one of my main reasons. Besides just the absurdity and pointlessness of my life, disregarding anything about my actual life, it is probably the major concrete reason, if that makes sense. Like besides mental illnesses. Though I suppose body dysmorphia is a mental illness. Ok so my depression is the worst, but BD is second, then. Every time I think I have gotten a handle on it, well, you can see, I end up spiraling further than I thought. It's complicated. I don't really know how to express it. Obviously. Oh another note, I am so fucking glad that there is an undo button because I have accidentally deleted large parts of this post twice. ffs
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: MissAbyss, darksouls and overmorrow
GhostInTheMachine

GhostInTheMachine

Safeguard
Nov 5, 2023
529
Self-immolation often sounds appealing to me.
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: HAL 9000, stardewwindceres, etchings and 2 others
M

monkeysee2

send help pls
Sep 26, 2025
110
It's something I struggle with but not my main reason to ctb. I do think some people have genuine body dysmorphia. However, things like height, weight and baldness do matter in how society treats you. So why is it always viewed as a mental illness and a problem with 'you'? Plastic surgery and the aesthetics industry wouldn't be worth 100s of billions if they didn't actually impact your life.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: overmorrow, stardewwindceres and darksouls
darksouls

darksouls

Illuminated
May 10, 2025
3,364
since the sepsis and the amputation I look like I have escaped from a ghost train, I dont own a mirror
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: overmorrow, stardewwindceres, MissAbyss and 2 others
M

monkeysee2

send help pls
Sep 26, 2025
110
since the sepsis and the amputation I look like I have escaped from a ghost train, I dont own a mirror
I'm sorry you're going through this. Medical issues suck and the rest of the 'healthy' world really doesn't understand what it's like to go through something like this.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: HAL 9000, overmorrow, stardewwindceres and 2 others
Ashu

Ashu

novelist, sanskritist, Canadian living in India
Nov 13, 2021
934
It's always been a major factor, ever since I first became suicidal at thirteen, up until the present, at fifty-five, when I still have not recovered from the trauma of realizing what it means to be circumcised.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: HAL 9000, monkeysee2, overmorrow and 2 others
vivia

vivia

(⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠)
May 13, 2025
108
Seeing how bad my body looks can honestly be one of the things / that pushes me to ctb, like seriously. Speaking of which, the way I deal with all of this is kinda weird, I lie to myself and pretend I look normal enough. I'm not hoping to be perfect or super good-looking or anything, I just wanna look… normal. My body can be considered skinny, and for my height and age right now it's pretty much not ideal, but I don't think about it too much. What hits the hardest is when people comment or make fun of it. I even avoid looking at my own face unless it's really necessary. And it's all for one reason, so I can forget and lie to myself that my face isn't as bad as the exaggerations I've created in my head​
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: monkeysee2 and overmorrow

Similar threads

girlwithflowers
Replies
0
Views
86
Suicide Discussion
girlwithflowers
girlwithflowers
M
Replies
0
Views
145
Suicide Discussion
Medi
M
Lou_Charthethird
Replies
3
Views
236
Suicide Discussion
ThroughTheLight
ThroughTheLight
bpdscared9
Replies
3
Views
151
Suicide Discussion
Asya
Asya