how many of you still live at home?

[whywere]

The one aspect globally is that housing is just out of Wack. No one should have to be homeless or anything of that nature ever.

I am 68 and I started out homeless in 1974 and I can still close my eyes and feel it. It SUCKED!

One aspect of human nature that I will never understand is the greed of some. It just makes me so sad. After having been in the business world for over 40 years, I will never for the life of me understand greed, backstabbing and watching someone else suffer. Just SO WRONG.

I am sorry and this is I guess out of context for here, however I have read so many posts and it breaks my heart so darn much.

We are ALL the same and if the human species is going to evolve and reach for the stars, we should start by making sure that at least the fundamentals of life are covered for EVERYONE!

Sorry, again, as this probably should not be here, but I have very strong convections, and we are ALL family here period.

I wish that everyone is having a great weekend and lots of well wishes to everyone.

Walter

 

[CatLvr]

There was a day -- and within my lifetime if y'all can believe it, likely within the lives of a lot of y'alls' grandparents -- that a "young woman" was expected to live at home until she took a husband. Even if she went to college, she was expected to live at home between semesters. This was also true of young men, especially if they were in professional studies that required a post graduate degree -- doctor, lawyer, or lived in a rural area because the family always needed help on the farm or ranch.

Then, not so slowly, the Industrial Revolution took hold and young men and women were afforded the chance to make a living without a college degree. Innovation was the name of the game and a lot of rich folks got richer but then, a lot of poor folks got rich beyond their wildest dreams, also. Companies offered education to employees for upward mobility and pensions that you could live on after spending your entire working career with the same company.

Now companies not only do not pay a livable wage, their "pensions" are ridiculous. Even jobs that HAVE to offer pensions to be competitive with the private sector (government jobs, mostly) are finding new and creative ways to fuck you up the ass (Rule of 80 for some states has been changed to the Rule of 90 now, effectively raising the minimum age you can retire to somewhere between 80 and 90 years of age. WTF??)

I would let any of my children move back in with me in a heartbeat -- as long as they do not try to destroy my home, and law enforcement isn't here every other week -- they are welcome until I am dead and gone. I cannot imagine a parent making a child feel unwelcome. Especially if thet child is trying to better themselves (going to school, looking for another job, getting out of debt, going through a divorce, gosh, I can think of a million things).

I am deeply sorry that society has become so cold that it is acceptable for a parent to just throw away their children -- and hence, their grandchildren -- like this. It's not been that many generations ago that grandparents, parents, children and grandchildren all lived together out of necessity. We were a better species, then. "Progress" isn't always good, IMHO.

 

[whywere]

There was a day -- and within my lifetime if y'all can believe it, likely within the lives of a lot of y'alls' grandparents -- that a "young woman" was expected to live at home until she took a husband. Even if she went to college, she was expected to live at home between semesters. This was also true of young men, especially if they were in professional studies that required a post graduate degree -- doctor, lawyer, or lived in a rural area because the family always needed help on the farm or ranch.

Then, not so slowly, the Industrial Revolution took hold and young men and women were afforded the chance to make a living without a college degree. Innovation was the name of the game and a lot of rich folks got richer but then, a lot of poor folks got rich beyond their wildest dreams, also. Companies offered education to employees for upward mobility and pensions that you could live on after spending your entire working career with the same company.

Now companies not only do not pay a livable wage, their "pensions" are ridiculous. Even jobs that HAVE to offer pensions to be competitive with the private sector (government jobs, mostly) are finding new and creative ways to fuck you up the ass (Rule of 80 for some states has been changed to the Rule of 90 now, effectively raising the minimum age you can retire to somewhere between 80 and 90 years of age. WTF??)

I would let any of my children move back in with me in a heartbeat -- as long as they do not try to destroy my home, and law enforcement isn't here every other week -- they are welcome until I am dead and gone. I cannot imagine a parent making a child feel unwelcome. Especially if thet child is trying to better themselves (going to school, looking for another job, getting out of debt, going through a divorce, gosh, I can think of a million things).

I am deeply sorry that society has become so cold that it is acceptable for a parent to just throw away their children -- and hence, their grandchildren -- like this. It's not been that many generations ago that grandparents, parents, children and grandchildren all lived together out of necessity. We were a better species, then. "Progress" isn't always good, IMHO.

You are just so WONDERFUL! I am so super happy and glad and humbled to be able to call you a great friend.

We need more folks like YOU!

Have a great day!

Walter

 

[Fakefriendhate_Maxx]

Im between 30 and 35 and live with my family (parents, brothers) together again after I moved in 2014. It was the pandemic that brought me back... Then I had to gave up my study and with no qualification and no chance to get a well-paid job it was predictable that I went back and I'm still here now. I love m family!! They support me weherever they can..
They had to experience a lot of negative things with me but never let me down.
But now I know I have to move away. No matter how much your family loves you, at some point you have to become independent (in most cases in modern society ?!) My problem: I don't have enough force to change things know and this even makes me more sick.

 

[sserafim]

I still live at home and I'm 23 almost 24

 

[lostsoul2050]

33 and still live with my parents. Rent is expensive where I live and I'm self-employed. I feel like a failure every single day.

 

[CatLvr]

21, still live with my parents. my parents don't consider me a failure yet but I do. it's easier for them to give support this way at least.

I've made no bones about the fact that I am old enough to be a bunch of y'alls' grandma. I am also a card-carrying exemplification of a "fixer". That person who, because of how they were raised (and most likely some quirky blip in my DNA also), considers EVERY problem of the entire damned Universe their own personal problem to fix. And my anxiety and guilt (yes, guilt) levels shoot through the roof until I have, indeed, solved all the world's problems, cooked dinner, fed the kids, cleaned up the kitchen and made sure all said kids have their homework done and are bathed and ready for bed before nighttime tv time.

So, pardon me if this is too forward, but 21 is awfully young to be a failure. Do you mind sharing why you believe this to be true?? Especially given the fact your parents don't feel this way about your lot in life. Could it be that you are being a little bit too rough on yourself??

 

[SketchTurner]

33 and I do. I lived away from home for university and came home owing rent, because I couldn't keep a job. I don't really care because I'm not going to be doing anything that would benefit from it, I already know living away from home solved none of my mental issues.

 

[Tarrasque]

Early 30's and living with my mother, and I am clearly wearing on her. My partner wants me to move out and go with her, but that seems incredibly cruel if I don't plan on living longer.

 

[cosmoqueen]

In my 30's and I do as well.

 

[future_angel]

i turned 23 a couple months ago and i moved back home a year ago. it really makes me sad and stressed because i feel like living with my mom is inhibiting me from living my life the way i want to. i miss living independently so much

 

[Kimlett]

I'm 30 and I live alone renting a tiny flat. I moved from my parents' at 24, as soon as I could, because I felt like a failure if I didn't move as soon as possible. Rent is shamelessly expensive where I live and it won't get better. Now I realised that most of my friends are still living with their parents and don't feel like a failure, in fact they are able to save money and intend to buy a house with that money, which is now impossible for me because I spend all my money in surviving. So now I'm a failure anyway

 

[nembutal]

The one aspect globally is that housing is just out of Wack. No one should have to be homeless or anything of that nature ever.

I am 68 and I started out homeless in 1974 and I can still close my eyes and feel it. It SUCKED!

One aspect of human nature that I will never understand is the greed of some. It just makes me so sad. After having been in the business world for over 40 years, I will never for the life of me understand greed, backstabbing and watching someone else suffer. Just SO WRONG.

I am sorry and this is I guess out of context for here, however I have read so many posts and it breaks my heart so darn much.

We are ALL the same and if the human species is going to evolve and reach for the stars, we should start by making sure that at least the fundamentals of life are covered for EVERYONE!

Sorry, again, as this probably should not be here, but I have very strong convections, and we are ALL family here period.

I wish that everyone is having a great weekend and lots of well wishes to everyone.

Walter

it's relevant. most of my suicidality stems from the actions of fat cats. my only hope is once they die out in the next 20-30 years things will change, but i doubt it.

I've made no bones about the fact that I am old enough to be a bunch of y'alls' grandma. I am also a card-carrying exemplification of a "fixer". That person who, because of how they were raised (and most likely some quirky blip in my DNA also), considers EVERY problem of the entire damned Universe their own personal problem to fix. And my anxiety and guilt (yes, guilt) levels shoot through the roof until I have, indeed, solved all the world's problems, cooked dinner, fed the kids, cleaned up the kitchen and made sure all said kids have their homework done and are bathed and ready for bed before nighttime tv time.

So, pardon me if this is too forward, but 21 is awfully young to be a failure. Do you mind sharing why you believe this to be true?? Especially given the fact your parents don't feel this way about your lot in life. Could it be that you are being a little bit too rough on yourself??

societal expectations make it so that there is a specific set of achievements one must make at certain ages. for those in their early 20s those seem to include being as independent as possible.

 

[like-spoiledmilk]

I moved out right at 18, but ended up needing to move in with my partner's family due to rising rent costs (nearly $1800 a month for a one bedroom) and mental health issues a few weeks ago. I'm 25 now.

I'm feeling like such a fucking burden right now. You could bury me alive and I'd feel like I deserved it.

 

[CatLvr]

it's relevant. most of my suicidality stems from the actions of fat cats. my only hope is once they die out in the next 20-30 years things will change, but i doubt it.

societal expectations make it so that there is a specific set of achievements one must make at certain ages. for those in their early 20s those seem to include being as independent as possible.

Yes, I'm aware. I moved out at 18 and never looked back. But that was a different time. My rent for a one bedroom house was $75/month, no deposit. No deposit required for my phone, gas or electricity either. They all just turned the stuff on and I paid my bills when they came. I had a yard for my dog (no pet deposit).

My point it, it wasn't that long ago that it wasn't that way. I truly believe that the mental health issues of many, many kids in the 18 to 30 and maybe even out to 35 is the fact that society asks too much too fast from folks.

We are abandoning both our young and our elderly. Ever been to an old folks' home. I will NEVER. There are certain diagnoses that if I get them I will come tell you guys "Love y'all but bye" and that will be it for me. If I don't decide to go before then, but right now I feel better than I have in a while (like years) so ctb is on the back burner for now.

And I will freely admit I have SaSu to thank for that. Thank, y'all!

 

[astonishedturnip]

I'm 30. I feel like I let my parents down because my brother moved out at 24 and my sister at 27, but they bought their houses during an INCREDIBLE time in the housing market and have extremely low interest rates and payments. By the time I made enough money to move out, the local housing market became a complete disaster and the barrier for owning even a small starter home is ridiculous. It sucks!

Fortunately I have a great relationship with my parents. I do chores, do all my own laundry, take care of everything when they're on vacation, pay rent, buy my own groceries and clothes, etc. so I know I'm not freeloading, and I love our house so I'm not fussed, but it does suck feeling "behind" my peers even though I know plenty of people in the same situation. Plus even broaching the subject with potential boyfriends... What a headache.

 

[cali22♡]

Some people want to move out as soon as they reach the age of majority. . .

I once had a friend who was waiting to move away from home but his parents wouldn't allow it so he joined the army because he hated his family so much. . .

If you are interested in my opinion, it is quite clear: I think it is very nice if you still live at home when you are old because what could be nicer than living in Hotel Mama (and no, I don't mean that you should take advantage of your parents, it's just nice if you still get along with your family to some extent).

 

[AAE]

There's nothing wrong about living with one's parents, the idea that it's "bad" or that it means you've "failed" is caused by the modern, stressful society where the only "true success" is to be completely independent and work so much that you forget who you are.

Humans are pack animals. The most natural thing for us is to stick together and support each other. I know lots of people here have never been on good terms with their family/parents and I am so sorry for what you've been forced to endure.

Just a century ago, it wasn't strange at all even in western cultures for people to stay with their families until they got married or similar. Society has just pushed something that's not natural on us for one reason: To make us generate more money for them.

Having lost both my parents, my dad when I was 18 and my mom at 37, I'm soon turning 40, my whole view changed from when I was a teenager fed with all of society's lies that I was a burden to my mom and needed to get an own life, to realizing I already had everything I could ever wish for, considering I was born with disabilities and health issues. After dad's death, mom and I grew so close as best friends that in the end I can only say she's my eternal soulmate. Losing her is the reason I'm even on this forum.

Life is extremely difficult, and my only real tip is to not judge yourselves based on the pure illogical "ideal" of the mainstream of today. Try to feel what you truly feel deep down, your natural feelings, and if you're someone who's getting along well with your family/parents: Be grateful, some of us wish we had a single friend to talk to and keep us company when suffering complete loneliness.

 

[samdocheon]

Left home at 17

 

[Reticent Being]

Thx for the question. My dad has his house with his wife who is retired. They have my two teenage sisters and their grandma there. It isnt a nice environment to live in. If anything, i'd be there to sleep and shower.. nothing else because it would be too much drama if i did the wrong thing. My mom and her 2 biological sisters still live with their bio-mom and bio-dad. her oldest sister lived with her first born son. Then her son gently asked her to leave so his friend could live with him instead.

If my grandparents never had a house... who knows what would happen to me. To answer the questions: I am 24 and i know my family members want me to make my own money, suffer working 2 jobs, and clean up more.

It's okay to live with your parents at any age! the society i was raised in didnt give many options for young people. Our only "job" is to go to school, which gives 0 options to make money even if you are really smart at math . I feel like i was held back from what i really wanted in life. I wanted to be emancipated at 14 if i could. Even mi madre wanted to leave home at 16. Im sure many youths of today have a similar dream. Gone are the days you could run away from home at 9 years old and still find a job . I remember researching how to live unhoused because i knew if im on my own, that's what would happen. It's an uncomfortable thought but it's good to prepare.

living on your own isnt the big achievement humans think it is. If you arent getting help from your parents by living in a home, you are still benefitting off their genetics. Im pretty sure it's the luck of being born able bodied and neurotypical (passing) at this point. Several of us are bad at working jobs and keeping jobs for long term because of a diagnosed/undiagnosed disability.

 

[voc_89]

not me. I got out of that hell hole as soon as I could (around 19). An emotionaly/mentally abusive step-parent that did all they could to ruin my life/development. Bleached my clothes. Deleted my School Based Assessments from the computer (which I needed before testing for possible University enrollment). After finding out I got into a University abroad ruined my passport. Hid food in the house. Locked the bathrooms (meaning many times I went to school without even showering and well had to do things outdoors... sigh). When given the chance/opportunity, always indicated to me I would never and was never deserving of love.... LMAO! Oh those days. Got out as soon as i could. With a background like this, when I CTB people will exclaim, "why he did it!" normies

 

[nolifeleft]

my mother equates me living at home at 21 to failure, but i don't know where i would go if i weren't living with her. no steady income, and every one seems to be struggling with finances nowadays. seems more logical to stay at home and save funds. not to mention crippling si

if you live with parents how old are you and how do they feel about it?

and if you don't, how were you able to work for your own place under crushing suicidal intent?

glad ur still here nembutal

don't worry about what ur mom thinks she's a piece of shit

 

[jello]

Me. I'm a failure of life.

 

[SMG08ABUSER]

I do, I'm 24 and my parents strongly encourage it as long as I have a job. Even in the US, this is becoming a lot more common nowadays due to the ridiculous costs of renting and houses in the current day. There's no way in hell I'd move out with what I'm currently making. I'd end up living under a bridge at that point.

 

[Voyage]

I live with my very much pathological family.

Those movies where teens run away, work some gas station job, and live on their own were always such a fantasy for me.

Housing prices are dropping around here so maybe I can do that by 30. Imagine only having a chance to start living at 30.

Housing is so overlooked as a factor for the mental health crisis. You can't run away and your parents will be alive and well until you're 50.

 

[eden101]

i live at home but i find it ok, my mother is fine with me not moving out. she's older and probably fears being all alone. its not bad because here i dont have to pay rent (parents bought the house), i can live here as much as id like. its not so bad. i do feel a bit like a failure for it. but even my siblings that have high paying jobs still live with us, because rent is pretty crazy, for almost no space. so it seems to be common nowadays. dont despair

 

[whywere]

I live with my very much pathological family.

Those movies where teens run away, work some gas station job, and live on their own were always such a fantasy for me.

Housing prices are dropping around here so maybe I can do that by 30. Imagine only having a chance to start living at 30.

Housing is so overlooked as a factor for the mental health crisis. You can't run away and your parents will be alive and well until you're 50.

Totally agree with you. When I was 18, I was kicked out and besides no food, not having a roof over my head REALLY did not do my mental health any good that is for sure.

Yes, I am 68, however, I have never and will, never understand how a few have 30000ft mansions and others cannot even afford 1000ft flat. I live in a city of over 4 million and the housing prices are INSANE!

I have a 1000ft flat that I rent, and it is $1600 (USD) per month, only because I am older (past 65), as the usual rent is over $2500 (USD) per month.

There are new high rises in the downtown core that start at over $5000 (USD) per month for around 1000ft flat. C'mon, REALLY!

Now to buy a house, it is 20% down of the asking price and then a 30-year mortgage. If not the 20% down then one has to have mortgage insurance which ADDS another monthly payment, oh heavens.

NOW the property taxes are sky high, so add even more per month PLUS homeowners' insurance and how does one make it?

I have no idea at all, I am stupid, I guess.

The rich get richer while the rest of us languish, NOT right EVER.

Walter

 

[kittyshole]

I'm a student so I still live at home with my grandparents and mum, I thank them everyday for being so caring.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

and if you don't, how were you able to work for your own place under crushing suicidal intent?

Hope.
My life was very bad at the time but I had this hope I could be happy if I left my father's house.

I worked a lot for several years...While studying at uni I also worked there to save on tuition and at night and during weekends I taught myself web programming because there was a lot of demand for that as far as jobs go.

Got a job, however, the jobs in my home country pay quite low so it's impossible to pay rent on just 1 income. So I worked on a big project so I could have a nice portfolio. I spent months doing nothing but working until I landed a job in another country and moved.

I worked very much and lived little. I would have dreams about working, would skip meals, etc. It did pay off in the sense I got my independence and my own space but didn't fix my mental issues.

 

[Jon Arbuckle]

I've made no bones about the fact that I am old enough to be a bunch of y'alls' grandma. I am also a card-carrying exemplification of a "fixer". That person who, because of how they were raised (and most likely some quirky blip in my DNA also), considers EVERY problem of the entire damned Universe their own personal problem to fix. And my anxiety and guilt (yes, guilt) levels shoot through the roof until I have, indeed, solved all the world's problems, cooked dinner, fed the kids, cleaned up the kitchen and made sure all said kids have their homework done and are bathed and ready for bed before nighttime tv time.

So, pardon me if this is too forward, but 21 is awfully young to be a failure. Do you mind sharing why you believe this to be true?? Especially given the fact your parents don't feel this way about your lot in life. Could it be that you are being a little bit too rough on yourself??

this reply has been in the back of my mind for a long time, so I'm sorry about the random late response.

for almost my entire life I've been told by almost all of my family that I'm very talented in a certain field of work and that I HAVE to work in that field or I'm basically wasting my talent. I believed them too for a long time but I've slowly realized over the 3ish years of being an adult that I am simply not cut out to work in this field. I am horrified at the prospect of admitting this to my family as they would most likely just immediately deny it. some people succeed in life even when noone expects them to/has almost no expectations or support for them, I'm the opposite. I had everything going for me, family support and high expectations, and I still managed to fuck it up.
I've been struggling super badly with community college, and my parents expect me to not only complete community college, but to transfer into a 'real' college after. If I'm fucking it up this badly with just community college how the hell am I supposed to do this in another, longer college? I feel incredibly guilty of the fact that they're paying for me to fail as well.
I've just built my entire future on being able to go to college for and get a job in this specific field and I'm realizing that I'm too stupid and worthless to succeed. I don't have any goals that I realistically believe I can achieve anymore. I know it would upset my family if I CTB and I know I'm "just" 21 but I'm only ever going to get older and I don't think they'd be that much happier if I stayed alive and failed at everything they were so confident I could do from childhood.
Now, a small part of me understands that personal success isn't everything, but I don't even have like, a good personality to at least make up for it. I somewhat recently lost a friend group entirely due to my ridiculous fucking behavior and the guilt has been eating me alive. I understand that this one is at least a "this won't matter in five years" issue, but It's been a month now and I still feel horrible, and I also feel like this is more a symptom of a larger problem into who I am as a person.

I am a coward at heart, and that is why I consider myself a failure and why I am going to kill myself.