Venting How many of you have "Anhedonia"?

[ForeverLonely82]

Another one: I used to love to go to the gym, used to get so pumped up and full of energy and satisfied with myself, now I just go through the motions, "get the exercises done", no more enjoyment, I feel weak, no feeling of accomplishment. It sucks man.

I hear that too. I used to hit the exercise bike at home or go for a hour walk. given I get tendonitis now from walking, I can't, but still bike but instead of feeling "Good" I get "ANGRY!" like totally pissed off at every little thing. I didn't know biking could do that. so I gained a boat load of weight, but that's not the reason for Anhendonia. Life's magic is gone for me. all the things I loved are dead in the joy department. I hate it. I am sorry you feel the same to some degree. I hope by some miracle we can feel better working our bodies out.

 

[wait.what]

Whenever I listen to music it feels like background noise i cant enjoy it or anything else.

I had that for a while. I couldn't stand to listen to music because it made too many emotional demands on me. I switched to listening to ambient sound … twittering birds and rain and whatnot.

I'm dissociated all the time so it doesn't even bother me.

I kind of miss dissociation. The problem is that it makes me feel great for about 30 minutes, and then I want to curl up in the fetal position and cry. I don't think it had that effect when I used to be dissociated all the time. I was usually drunk at the time, though, so who knows.

I suspect adhedonia is caused by inflammation in the brain. I have had some success going off sugar.

I think you're right. I've had three doctors tell me as much … different specialties. None a psychiatrist.

"Chemical imbalance" my ass … I suppose someone somewhere might see some improvement with all those pills, but for a lot of us, they're as useless as putting leeches on people to draw out their "black bile."

 

[BlackMoon]

I feel like that about creation, where 10 years ago I was able to enjoy creating stories, wanted to become a movie director or author, etc, now I just feel empty and hopeless when I try to write or paint, and then it makes me abandon my projects because I don't see any point to continue to work with this mind state.

 

[gbi2]

I'd never heard of this word to describe the symptom until the other day when I watched a suggested Youtube video about it.

It is exactly what I've been experiencing for a few years now. No joy in anything, A therapist seems to think I just can't be bothered with chores and things but I've had a few ideas I would love to get on with - a website, 3D printing some things, that I just can't focus on enough to do. It's not just chores or responsibilities it is everything that seems futile.

I do, mine was caused by medication. Whenever I listen to music it feels like background noise i cant enjoy it or anything else. It truly is like having something you want teased in front of you but you cant get it or feel it no matter what. Also what could help is microdosing shrooms maybe you can try that? Definitely avoid it if you're prone to mania or psychosis though.

Music just feels like one long line of sounds, no repetitiveness, no build, chorus not the bit to look forward to kicking in, even songs I loved are now just something playing. I even put music on and then turn it off because it gets annoying.

The thing is I will still play music in my car, occasionally I might sing along but it's like it is just a reaction, not a feeling. I have it loud sometimes as it drowns out my tinnitus, so people I pass might think I'm a boy racer when it's kind of for health reasons.

 

[voyager]

Me too, me too, me too!!

Will read the thread proper later, gotta get something sorted, but suffice to say it destroys one's life but makes suicide itself simpler, because there's nothing left to hold onto and no counterforce to the suffering. That, along with it's partner symptoms of numbness and lethargy can really unhinge one on ctb, imho. Especially, in regards to SI.

Funny thing here is that I've had it creeping up on me since 2007/2008 at the least, and it's always progressing, even when one doesn't think one can go any number. Around 2010 had a psychiatric evaluation, she asked me if I wanted to kill myself, I dodged the question, as in "sure.., I've thought about it, but in truth don't feel anything anymore".

Later found out that it's a sort of trick question on how truthful you are considering the other things involved. The first answer was downplayed, the second the truth though, and yet she didn't tell me what it was and ultimately I only found out the proper word for it when coming on here four years ago. It's interesting how one can have an imaginary illness without even knowing it exists *cough*, and the the reason she didn't tell me is obvious now, because one can't treat it properly, since it's a biproduct and in it's own way fatal.

 

[outrider567]

I don't enjoy anything anymore, perpetual state of depression