Discussion How many of us are here due to childhood truma

[divinemistress36]

PTSD is absolute hell and no amount if therapy, meds or ketamine helps

 

[Kasumi]

Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a psychiatric disorder that may occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event, series of events or set of circumstances. An individual may experience this as emotionally or physically harmful or life-threatening and may affect mental, physical, social, and/or spiritual well-being. Examples include natural disasters, serious accidents, terrorist acts, war/combat, rape/sexual assault, historical trauma, intimate partner violence and bullying,

Source: https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ptsd/what-is-ptsd

All things where your life is at risk.
See DSM-5 criteria about PTSD.
Toxic or emotionally abusive parents / upbringing / environment just don't apply to that.
Even if they result in the same symptoms as those caused by PTSD.

 

[rozeske]

All things where your life is at risk.
See DSM-5 criteria about PTSD.
Toxic or emotionally abusive parents / upbringing / environment just don't apply to that.
Even if they result in the same symptoms as those caused by PTSD.

The thread isn't about PTSD it's about childhood truma (see above for definition of childhood trauma and truma in general) but to answer your question of PTSD, it is defined as

Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a psychiatric disorder that may occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event, series of events or set of circumstances. An individual may experience this as emotionally or physically harmful or life-threatening and may affect mental, physical, social, and/or spiritual well-being. Examples include natural disasters, serious accidents, terrorist acts, war/combat, rape/sexual assault, historical trauma, intimate partner violence and bullying,

 

[Kasumi]

The thread isn't about PTSD it's about childhood truma (see above for definition of childhood trauma and truma in general) but to answer your question of PTSD, it is defined as

Doesn't the term "trauma" mean "PTSD"?

 

[rozeske]

Doesn't the term "trauma" mean "PTSD"?

No it doesn't. Truma is an experience that is physical or mental. PTSD is a psychiatric disorder that results from a truma. there are different types of truma. Not all truma is the same and not all truma leads to PTSD.

 

[hail]

i had an absolutely nightmarish upbringing but i wouldn't say it makes me want to ctb, the main reason i feel the way i do is because of how awful this planet is and how much worse it'll continue to get, i don't want any part of that.

whats the point in working towards happiness when people will always be suffering?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

While there were some hiccups in my childhood as a result of things going on with my family (divorce, domestic abuse against my dad from my stepmother, family drama, etc) I would still say that my childhood was good and I personally have never gone through any sort of traumatic event before.

My childhood has played no contribution to my suicidality. My suicidality stems from myself as a person and the effects that I've had on others rather than the other way around.

 

[inaminute]

My childhood is the reason why I want to die I just can't help my mental illness it's tiring my family out, tearing us apart they would be better off without me.

 

[neonzebra]

I wouldn't want to say my childhood was terrible even though I was depressed and anxious through most of it. I was fed, I had good siblings, we lived in a nice big house, we had nice trips abroad or staycations, I wasn't physically abused.
However... In recent years after much reflection it did dawn on me that being horribly depressed as a child isn't normal and probably didn't come from nowhere. It was then that I "remembered" - or realised - how miserable my mother was my whole upbringing, how I was her constant therapist, how I wasn't allowed to ever appear upset myself, how some experiences I had were certainly sexual abuse, how lonely I felt, how I barely knew my father, how my mother exclusively used guilt and spite to control me and never helped me with my mental health even after me asking her over and over for help.
I definitely dont dwell on these regularly -especially since she has died. But I do believe that these experiences caused me to develop into an extremely anxious, negative, insipid, unassertive and distracted human being. I have no goals, I'm not particularly good at anything, I can't make decisions, I feel constant guilt and worry.
If I had had a solid upbringing or at least had an emotionally intelligent adult at some point in my life to boost me maybe things would be different.

 

[Kasumi]

No it doesn't. Truma is an experience that is physical or mental. PTSD is a psychiatric disorder that results from a truma. there are different types of truma. Not all truma is the same and not all truma leads to PTSD.

oof that's complicated, sorry for the confusion then, I feel like it's one of those terms that you hear everywhere but that's hard to define, like feeling depressed vs having MDD.

 

[bunny_brownie9]

left me completely traumatised beyond the point of return. made me turn out like this. some people should not have been parents unfortunately.

 

[Argo]

I'm not even sure how I'm this surprised by the big bar next to the childhood trauma+it contributed option. I definitely fixated on mine for most of my life(and it was my vote too) but I realize anything traumatic can happen to anyone at any point in their life, and things can go off the rails so easily. It's really hard to argue for anything more crucial than childhood though. If you don't get socialized, if you don't get taught certain life skills, things are going to be really, really hard for that child. If the people who are supposed to care for you very seriously hurt you, especially repeatedly, yeah...

that one generally takes a miracle to repair, and our world doesn't really have systems that can handle that

 

[rozeske]

some people should not have been parents unfortunately.

Exactly! But then again you see those same parents do the complete opposite to another child it makes you wonder if these people are even the same.

 

[Greyscale]

The child abuse I experienced probably contributed to it. Unfortunately, I've also experienced sexual abuse and bullying.

 

[rozeske]

I'm not even sure how I'm this surprised by the big bar next to the childhood trauma+it contributed option.

The very sad reality of our situation

 

[Meteora]

@Doemu where ate you from? Was there no alternative to living on the street?

 

[Doemu]

@Doemu where ate you from? Was there no alternative to living on the street?

I stoled food in supermarkets, asked for help to social workers, and only told me to go back Home.

Well, i decide when i leaved that was going to be better die than living with my parents.

From that i had to leave studies and becamed a ofender to survive. Leaving Home at 2008, 18 yrs old.

Of course i have criminal record, and son will be deleted. I made to much damage.

I can't forgive my self.

 

[Jallu55]

I have had very nice family for the most part actually, my problems started to pile on me quickly as a kid with me only getting friends who where more like bullies in elementary school though. I was very suicidal before it too but I do feel like I'm here because of a trauma that happened to me little before I was considered a legal adult that gave me PTSD, not a childhood trauma by any means but I'm quite sure it would have not happened to me and that I would have gained some recovery instead if I was 18 or over back then.

 

[Hikikomori1]

I am here because of my trauma.

 

[KafkaF]

It's interesting, I wonder how many people who didn't vote for "I had a terrible childhood and it contributed" are actually mistaken.

Three years ago I would've probably voted for having had a terrible one or average one with it having nothing to do with my suicidality. But over the last few years I've realized that my parents are both emotionally abusive and it has scarred me deeply and is responsible for most of my mental health problems.

As odd as it may sound I used to think all the yelling and constant criticism and constant impossible standards and complete lack of taking my emotions into account and all the insults were all normal. That getting punished for crying was normal. I thought I was just a weird kid with normal parents.

It took me a very long time to realize that I was a normal kid with abusive parents. And that's why I constantly feel worthless, am terrified of making mistakes, etc.

 

[Meteora]

Three years ago I would've probably voted for having had a terrible one or average one with it having nothing to do with my suicidality. But over the last few years I've realized that my parents are both emotionally abusive and it has scarred me deeply and is responsible for most of my mental health problems.

At the age of 20 I would have still said I had a good childhood and my parents are great. It took me years of psychotherapy to understand how abusive my parents were.

 

[KafkaF]

At the age of 20 I would have still said I had a good childhood and my parents are great. It took me years of psychotherapy to understand how abusive my parents were.

Yeah, exactly. So it makes me wonder how many people who aren't giving that answer actually just haven't yet realized how bad their parents were.

Obviously some people have mental health issues for completely different reasons. Like experiencing significant trauma as an adult. And I'd never deny that that happens.

I just wouldn't be surprised of the current number of people who said they had a terrible childhood was underestimating the real number.

 

[amaluuk]

I had a stable life growing up, always food on the table (well, when my parents weren't trying to starve out my autism food restrictions which never worked), always had good access to internet (when not grounded) and never had to worry about going homeless.

I also happened to be a star in my next door neighbor's child pornography business from 4-5 years old and I enjoyed it. Here's the sick little kicker: Every time I tell people about it, I feel like I'm recounting fond family memories or a fuzzy good time. I have to force myself to use words like rape, unwanted, violating, etc, when they're not what feel right in my heart of hearts and I feel gaslit by the world about my own experiences.

And I feel like that's sort of the no-going-back point for a lot of issues and CTBing. What do you do when you enjoyed it? What do you do when your fundamental frame of mind has been so utterly damaged beyond repair? Normies want to get it. They want to offer a solution. They want you to hang in "because the life you want is out there for you" but it's not that simple and never will be.

I don't want a life where I'm just trucking along and every morning I still have to force myself to get out of bed every day and every day still feels like a challenge but I have just enough vaguely okay things in my life that I can convince myself it's somehow worth living, just enough to be bearable but not enough to actually be happy. That's the best shot I've got and honestly if that's what my odds are looking like then fuck it, y'know?

 

[Meteora]

@KafkaF Its very probable that there are quite some people who havent realised yet how difficult their childhood was. It felt like a brainwash to me and so it might be for others, too.
@KafkaF well, number 2, "terrible childhood, nothing to do with suicidality" is impossible, I d say. If you have had a terrible childhood and are suicidal.... then theres always a connection imo.

 

[rozeske]

I couldn't agree more with you @KafkaF. it takes a while for most to realize just how traumatizing their childhood was, some even well into their adult years. As a child you will most likely be brain washed in to believing it's the normal way or that you deserved all that's done to you. That thought usually doesn't leave for a while.

Oh don't you're starting to turn into.... @FuneralCry

I won't be here long enough for that, not that there is anything wrong with that.

 

[sukuna]

i dont have any single big traumatic event but its just a culmination of everything that has happened throughout my childhood and adolescence that brought me to where I am now

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't think that my parents are the best but I'd say that they're good enough. Ultimately, what makes me wish to be dead is life itself and not due to parents

 

[scottyy]

I've got a big inner conflict when it comes to this. Paradoxically my bad childhood drove me to be a better person. But it annoys me that it happened and that there were no responsible adults around to look out for me. They are all spoiled kids who never grew up. It's exactly the saying
"Hard men create easy times;
Easy times create weak men;
Weak men create hard times;
Hard times create hard men"

And then now as an adult I see things for what they are and know for certain that I was always right about certain things, like the fact that my parents shouldn't of ever had kids or been allowed to be parents.

All this time until now they were really nasty towards me. Now they're old and I'm in the prime of my life, but my life sucks. They did nothing to prep me for life and always disrespected me. I think I could've had more and done more by now if I had the proper support and advice. Instead I had to find out self help methods on my own and I actually found that I make a good coach. But I find it annoying, I didn't ask for any of this, but I am really good at coaching people through things. It could be anything. Although I've got some brain damage now so idk if I'm at my full potential or if I ever will be.
That scares me too, brain damage. I don't want to live as a dummy, but if I keep regressing I won't even be aware of my intellect dropping.
Anyways sorrt for the long rant on an old post

 

[grungy自殺]

I had a decent childhood actually I just got good old genetic depression and finding myself wanting to ctb at 13 years old for no reason

Odd that i've had that same ideation around 13 as well

 

[Return2themoonlight]

Sadly to say, yes. The trauma of my brother being favored over me throughout my entire childhood as well as being SA'd by another family member messed me up big time.