Discussion How many of us are here due to childhood truma

[rozeske]

I had a terrible childhood. To the point that it hurts me to look at childhood pictures and preffer avoiding them. Even though am not suicidal just because I had a terrible childhood it sure made the bed for almost all my mental health issues that followed. It's many years later and the sadness and anger still eats at me and I never found a way of letting go.

 

[sammiechzxv]

im assuming most people here didn't have a pleasant upbringing

 

[rozeske]

im assuming most people here didn't have a pleasant upbringing

Oh you would be surprised.

 

[divinemistress36]

I had a decent childhood actually I just got good old genetic depression and finding myself wanting to ctb at 13 years old for no reason

 

[J&L383]

I didn't have the worst childhood but there was some things that were poorly lacking, including some medical trauma that is largely why I am here today. Many people have had it much worse in terms of abuse.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

I wouldn't want to re-experience it and I don't have fond memories of it.
Some of the most negative memories bother me to this day.
So yeah I would say it was traumatic.

 

[DeletedAccount0864]

It's a huge part of it, yes.

It sickens me that evil people choose to have kids. A childhood of abuse fucks you up for life.

 

[Kit1]

100% child abuse is why I am here.

 

[papisprite]

I've had suicidal ideation and tendencies ever since I was 8. I don't even remember why it popped into my head in the first place.

 

[FundamentalAspect]

I had a horrible childhood and was abused well in to adulthood, and that is by far the biggest contributing factor to my wanting to die.

 

[caninecomposer]

If I ever got to know anything besides torture and suffering during my developmental years, maybe I would be able to see some magic in life.

 

[Abyssal]

Not sure. I know I was bullied as a kid but whether or not it's really done much to me I'm uncertain. I think so?

 

[SMmetalhead36]

I had a shitty ass childhood where I was abused physically, verbally, emotionally, and sexually, which led me into the arms of and marrying a narcissistic cheater and abuser, that I had children with. Don't get me wrong, I love my children, but I regret ever laying up with him and ever meeting his family except his 3 nieces. I was 17 when I met him. The regret is eating me alive. I hate thinking of my childhood.

It's a huge part of it, yes.

It sickens me that evil people choose to have kids. A childhood of abuse fucks you up for life.

Exactly.

 

[rozeske]

It sickens me that evil people choose to have kids. A childhood of abuse fucks you up for life.

I never understand the obsession with having kids if one doesn't want one, doesn't know how to show affection and doesn't know how to not abuse....like why even bother to begin with?

 

[Forever Sleep]

Maybe not terrible when you compare it to others. I did at least receive some love and stability. There was a lot of shit too though. Three close family deaths by age 10, then growing up with a (suspected) narcissist. They were the reason I became suicidal to begin with. So- now- at 44, it isn't the main cause by any means but it's definitely contributed. Our childhoods shape who we are. Plus- I think- once suicidal thoughts are there as an option, they don't really go.

 

[rozeske]

once suicidal thoughts are there as an option, they don't really go.

Exactly, the sad reality of our existence

 

[DeletedAccount0864]

it still boggles my mind how there isn't any vetting or restrictions involved.

I am VERY skeptical of authority in general (many who have had experiences with mental health services can possibly relate), and I don't want to force anyone to do anything, but some people are just so fucking evil and should not have kids that you can't help but think this way. People are like irresponsible babies that need an authority to force them to make decent decisions, and that just sucks.

I never understand the obsession with having kids if one doesn't want one, doesn't know how to show affection and doesn't know how to not abuse....like why even bother to begin with?

Many of them actually do want kids because that's what the TV tells them is normal. Even if they are evil pieces of shit, they are still under cultural programming.

 

[MikUma]

Average childhood, but because of thr really small and very rare occassions where my parents would go to the point of trying to knock down doors on me when I was in my safe places or when I was bullied oh my god that just overloaded and now I'm here

 

[DeletedAccount0864]

Not necessarily force but ensure they meet certain qualities or prerequisites, or at the very least educate them to make sure they're aware of all the risks and responsibilities. We have a better vetting system in place for our pets (which depending on the breed comes with even more requirements and regulations) than we do human children.

But that necessitates force. For example, if some couple went and got pregnant despite not being allowed to, what would be the consequence of this? This has happened in history and it isn't pretty. That being said, I don't know what to do about it myself. I just wish humans were less shit in general that we didn't have to sympathize with ideas such as having government agents "allow" people to do things. We could live in a beautiful world if we wanted, but people want to live in this hell.

 

[ArteriesBindEveryon]

My childhood was very weird. Most of my suffering was self-inflicted. I became suicidal at age 7 and was outspoken about my desire to die. My parents didn't seek help for me until I was a teenager because they didn't believe me. However, they weren't flat out abusive either, leaving them in a weird grey area. They were willing to accept any part of me unless it involved the possiblity that I wasn't mentally healthy. I'd beat myself in an attempt to fix myself but it obviously didn't help. I used to try to convince my parents to assault me so I'd have something to explain why I was so messed up but they'd refuse to do it. But beyond the depression, my childhood was "normal". So I really don't know how to define it. I'd argue my suicidality predates any childhood trauma I may or may not have. Can anyone relate?

 

[AnonymousL]

I had a terrible childhood. To the point that it hurts me to look at childhood pictures and preffer avoiding them. Even though am not suicidal just because I had a terrible childhood it sure made the bed for almost all my mental health issues that followed. It's many years later and the sadness and anger still eats at me and I never found a way of letting go.

I feel exactly what you feel.

Also when my so is talking with his family about memories from when they were young it hurts.
Cause all I feel is sadness when I think of the very few memories I have of my childhood.

 

[rozeske]

I feel exactly what you feel.

Also when my so is talking with his family about memories from when they were young it hurts.
Cause all I feel is sadness when I think of the very few memories I have of my childhood.

It hurts me when people talk about fond childhood memories.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I wouldn't say my childhood was all that bad, considering almost every East Asian child that's ever been born in the world probably goes through a similar experience. For me it was only one parent too. My father was the one who kept pushing me academically way more than I could handle but I don't really let that define me either. No, the target to blame for my suicidality is me and me alone.

 

[Kasumi]

I wanna add that the term "trauma" in the title is a bit misleading if you're asking for "terrible childhood" / bad upbringing, etc.
"Trauma" is a very restrictive term usually only reserved for experiences that were life threatening.

 

[Meteora]

I disagree. @Kasumi
Neglect is traumatic.
Emotional abuse is traumatic.
A narcissistic parent is traumatic.

In fact we have to understand that so many more things can be deeply traumatising for a person than one major event like divorce of the parents or rape or physical penalisation.

 

[rozeske]

I wanna add that the term "trauma" in the title is a bit misleading if you're asking for "terrible childhood" / bad upbringing, etc.
"Trauma" is a very restrictive term usually only reserved for experiences that were life threatening.

Trauma is when we experience very stressful, frightening or distressing events that are difficult to cope with or out of our control. It could be one incident, or an ongoing event that happens over a long period of time.

Most of us will experience an event in our lives that could be considered traumatic. But we won't all be affected the same way. Trauma can happen at any age. And it can affect us at any time, including a long time after the event has happened

Childhood trauma

You may have experienced trauma during your childhood. These experiences could make you more likely to have mental health problems as an adult. This is especially if you didn't have support to manage the trauma. Or if you experienced trauma continuously, over a long period of time.

"My high functioning depression and anxiety is a result of childhood trauma that lay dormant from age 13 until it was triggered when I was 39."

There's no rule about what experiences can be traumatic. It's more about how you react to them.

What's traumatic is personal. Other people can't know how you feel about your own experiences or if they're traumatic for you. You might have similar experiences to someone else, but be affected differently or for longer.

Trauma can include events where you feel:

• Frightened
• Under threat
• Humiliated
• Rejected
• Abandoned
• Invalidated, for example your feelings or views have been dismissed or denied
• Unsafe
• Unsupported
• Trapped
• Ashamed
• Powerless

Ways trauma can happen include:

• One-off or ongoing events
• Being directly harmed or neglected
• Witnessing harm to someone else
• Living in a traumatic atmosphere
• Being affected by trauma in a family or community, including trauma that has happened before you were born

Source: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/trauma/about-trauma/#:~:text=Trauma is when we experience,a long period of time.

 

[Doemu]

I have to been added to the list.

Divorced parents, so i started to lived with my mother -> child abuse until i scaped from home and runned into police to criminal complaint her.

Then i started to live with my father -> chile abuse from a policeman, so i couldn't do nothing more than to scape from home when i was 18 to start to live as homeless.

The child abuse made me having important mental illness.

I'm a broken toy.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

I wanna add that the term "trauma" in the title is a bit misleading if you're asking for "terrible childhood" / bad upbringing, etc.
"Trauma" is a very restrictive term usually only reserved for experiences that were life threatening.

Trauma is either physical, sexual, psychological or emotional. The severity of trauma varies. It doesn't have to be necessary life threatening but it leaves a negative impact on your life.

 

[Kasumi]

Trauma is either physical, sexual, psychological or emotional. The severity of trauma varies. It doesn't have to be necessary life threatening but it leaves a negative impact on your life.

It does to fit the definition of "trauma".
Otherwise you could call every scarring event trauma.
But the diagnosis for PTSD requires it to be an event that put your life at risk, otherwise it's not called "trauma", even if you experience the same symptoms (avoidance, nightmares, intrusive memories).

 

[rozeske]

It does to fit the definition of "trauma".
Otherwise you could call every scarring event trauma.
But the diagnosis for PTSD requires it to be an event that put your life at risk, otherwise it's not called "trauma", even if you experience the same symptoms (avoidance, nightmares, intrusive memories).

Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a psychiatric disorder that may occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event, series of events or set of circumstances. An individual may experience this as emotionally or physically harmful or life-threatening and may affect mental, physical, social, and/or spiritual well-being. Examples include natural disasters, serious accidents, terrorist acts, war/combat, rape/sexual assault, historical trauma, intimate partner violence and bullying,

Source: https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ptsd/what-is-ptsd