killorbekilled

killorbekilled

manhwa reader, mentally unwell
Oct 3, 2024
55
I've been trying to find DMC but I am dumb. Hopefully I'll find it soon. Looking forward to catching the bus.
 
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sevennn

sevennn

Specialist
Sep 11, 2024
354
@sevennn

This is absolutely not meant as a personal attack, or even a writing critique, rather, you expressed confusion about how your writing was possibly confusing, and I'm simply trying to explain how I got to the understanding that I did, based on what you wrote.



At least for me, it was a combination of this thread explicitly asking about SN ("how many of us are hoing with SN?") and your statement about the miracle fruit was in a paragraph that appears to be talking primarily about a nasty salty tea experience, and SN is well known around here for being nauseatingly salty.

Here's how I interpreted the paragraph:



"damn i wish we could go seeking N together" - clearly talking about N

"haha one last adventure" - just a pleasant thought

"and i drank 3 teaspoons of salt in a tiny cup of tea once (by accident) i swallowed one big gulp and was immediately disgusted" - clearly not about either N or SN specifically, but since the saltiness of SN is pretty well discussed, and other than it being more peaceful but unavailable, I don't know a lot about N, so this could be setting up a comparison to just the saltiness compared to SN or it could be setting up a comparison to the saltiness of SN and N. Since this is a thread specifically focused on SN, I assumed that it was definitely for comparison to SN, and may also be relevant to N.

"it was really nasty tho 🙈😭 i still remember the taste vividly. and with N." - I read this as talking about the plan salt (accidentally consumed with tea; which I have no doubt was a nasty surprise), but I honestly wasn't sure if you were implying that N was also salty like that tea or whether it had a different nasty flavor, but again, (a) this thread is about SN, (b) it's been established that saltiness is a common problem with SN, and (c) I've personally discounted N therefore I'm focused on possible ways to mitigate the saltiness of SN.

"there's this miracle berry pill that turns bitter and sour tastes into sweet tastes. maybe that can work." - given that this paragraph is mostly about the table salt in tea accident and this thread is focused on SN, I interpreted this as "miracle berry pill turns bitter and sour tastes into sweet tastes. Maybe [miracle berry] can work [to turn salty tastes into sweet tastes]."

Does that make sense?
that's a lot of words for me so without reading i'm just gonna say yes 😂
 
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Agon321

Agon321

I use google translate
Aug 21, 2023
1,429
Me.
It's not a perfect method (it's far from perfect), but I don't have a viable alternative.
 
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sevennn

sevennn

Specialist
Sep 11, 2024
354
Me.
It's not a perfect method (it's far from perfect), but I don't have a viable alternative.
same. it's like what the fuck else do you do.. nothing 😒 that's why so many are going with SN if they can. sucks.
 
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Agon321

Agon321

I use google translate
Aug 21, 2023
1,429
same. it's like what the fuck else do you do.. nothing 😒 that's why so many are going with SN if they can. sucks.
Yes, that's reality.
I'd rather die another way, but another way is impossible/very difficult to achieve.

The world is fucked up in many ways. I hope the afterlife will be less fucked up.
 
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sevennn

sevennn

Specialist
Sep 11, 2024
354
y
Yes, that's reality.
I'd rather die another way, but another way is impossible/very difficult to achieve.

The world is fucked up in many ways. I hope the afterlife will be less fucked up.
yeah. heaven is my only hope. wish i could die in my room but i live with others. every second is torment. literally. tinnitus every second. feel so beaten down and tired. have no strength to arrange it all. going to a hotel seems so daunting. just wish i could get SN and die in my room. maybe mom won't hear late at night. idk. too risky. too sad i can't do it in my room. wish i could. only would be fitting to die in this shitty room i suffered so much in. and never any friends lr anything. sorry to dump. feeling bad
 
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Agon321

Agon321

I use google translate
Aug 21, 2023
1,429
y

yeah. heaven is my only hope. wish i could die in my room but i live with others. every second is torment. literally. tinnitus every second. feel so beaten down and tired. have no strength to arrange it all. going to a hotel seems so daunting. just wish i could get SN and die in my room. maybe mom won't hear late at night. idk. too risky. too sad i can't do it in my room. wish i could. only would be fitting to die in this shitty room i suffered so much in. and never any friends lr anything. sorry to dump. feeling bad
You don't have to apologize, that's what this site is for :).

I don't have high expectations for the afterlife (if it exists), I just wish it were a little less shitty than this world.
I'm not optimistic and I regret it. The world would be a little simpler.

SN unfortunately has limitations. For example, using it when there are other people close to you is risky, but you know that.
The world doesn't give much room to maneuver and we have to cope with limited tools.

Dying in your own room can be something "nice".
Personally, I would like to die in the bosom of nature, but I will probably die in my own room, but I might still change my plans.
 
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M

Musiclover338

New Member
Sep 25, 2024
4
me but i seriously hope i don't have to resort to it i just wanna be happy and have a normal brain again
 
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Demian

Demian

Student
Mar 25, 2024
121
Me.

I'm just waiting for the metoclopramide, cimetidine and propanolol. After that I'll set a date, perhaps for the end of this year.
 
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nihilistic_dragon

nihilistic_dragon

Dead already. Just need to dispose of my body now.
Aug 6, 2024
455
damn i wish we could go seeking N together haha one last adventure. and i drank 3 teaspoons of salt in a tiny cup of tea once (by accident) i swallowed one big gulp and was immediately disgusted. but i didn't throw up. it was really nasty tho 🙈😭 i still remember the taste vividly. and with N. there's this miracle berry pill that turns bitter and sour tastes into sweet tastes. maybe that can work.
Ikr? Going with someone definitely sounds like it would be more productive and less lonely but unfortunately in reality it would be a really dumb thing to do lol. Sometimes I envy that couple described in PPH, they just both went and bought N and died in each other's arms at a hotel.

Gosh I wish that miracle berry worked for salty stuff as well. Would definitely make the idea of taking SN more bearable.
 
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Ww42

Ww42

Experienced
Feb 24, 2024
237
I will be, if it'll ever fucking get delivered already
 
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Surai

Surai

Member
Mar 26, 2024
69
I just wish an angel had came down from the skies to bless me with some sn and persuade me into taking the dose comforting and embracing me in a hug to enjoin with them after I die.
 
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grungy自殺

grungy自殺

All apologies.....
Jan 9, 2024
97
It's the couple of methods that i hope to possess when i'm about to ctb
 
O

OldWound

Rotten.
Aug 31, 2024
15
Probably not. I don't intend on kms any time soon. By the time I do it'll probably be much more difficult to get and the one I have will have gone bad or get taken in that time.
 
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Meowsies

Meowsies

Member
Jul 4, 2023
31
I got everything ready, i just need some courage and get to doing my fast.
 
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ham and potatoes

ham and potatoes

Just some hillbilly
Mar 27, 2024
366
Nope, not me. If I do decide to end it, it's going to be with fent or some other synthetic opioid
 
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singingcrow

singingcrow

Member
Jul 7, 2024
36
Probably not. I don't intend on kms any time soon. By the time I do it'll probably be much more difficult to get and the one I have will have gone bad or get taken in that time.
can't SN last years?
 
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L

lionetta12

Just a random person
Aug 5, 2022
1,115
just curious
I'd rather not do SN due to the risk of potentional vomiting and I absolutely hate vomiting, it's one of the most painful and uncomfortable things there is to go through physically for me. My pain tolerance is low. I tried to look into my other preferred method which is CO, but most of the recent threads on that haven't been reassuring and requires a few test runs and is overall more complex of a method. My SN also got taken away from me when I was moving unfortunately so that's another challenge in regards to SN. I've come to the conclusion now though that SN or a gun is the only real options that I feel comfortable enough to go with despite their potentional negative sides. I just need to buy SN again or get a gun.
 
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sevennn

sevennn

Specialist
Sep 11, 2024
354
I'd rather not do SN due to the risk of potentional vomiting and I absolutely hate vomiting, it's one of the most painful and uncomfortable things there is to go through physically for me. My pain tolerance is low. I tried to look into my other preferred method which is CO, but most of the recent threads on that haven't been reassuring and requires a few test runs and is overall more complex of a method. My SN also got taken away from me when I was moving unfortunately so that's another challenge in regards to SN. I've come to the conclusion now though that SN or a gun is the only real options that I feel comfortable enough to go with despite their potentional negative sides. I just need to buy SN again or get a gun.
i hate the vomiting too but i'm at this point that i just want to go. i don't feel anything anymore. as life beats me more and more. just exhausted. no feelings anymore. i think i can take it
 
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A

Asleepatlast

Member
Sep 12, 2024
58
I would like to do sn but the need of other medications is holding me back. I don't look forward to the symptoms from sn. Who does? But I think I could manage those knowing they are temporary.

But with my chronic health condition I don't see myself tolerating the other medications and I have concerns that if I survived sn I would end up with damage from the meds.

If I was ten years younger and healthier this method wouldn't concern me. But isn't that the catch? I'm resorting to this from health problems but also trapped by my poor health making it difficult to manage the necessary protocol.

I'm exhausted trying to figure this out. And not in the capacity necessary to do so. I wish I could simply lie down in my comfy bed and not wake up tomorrow.
 
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