Discussion How many friends do you have?

[spinningship]

Starting to realize I probably only need a small circle say 1-2 really close friends to be content. Something that makes me suicidal is looking up all the ways that autistic people have hard times with social interactions and how we come off to others. It's always triggering being told you're creepy for existing or that you're a psycho or a re**rd. Lately I've come to realize that how society at large views me shouldn't dictate how I feel. It's how I make the people around me feel and how they make me feel that matters. If i'm enough for even 1-2 people in this world no matter how fucked up they are themselves i'm happy with that.

 

[meeks]

Exactly! I'm so happy for you that you came to that ^^
To answer your question, I actually have many friends. However, I really only deeply connect and actually talk to with around less than 4 and I'm happy with that already too. It's honestly not too best having so many friends because most of them feel so shallow so that gets me confused of the definition of 'friends' in the first place. Oh well, good for us that we're happy with what we have ^^

 

[pole]

I was always apart of large social circles. It was nice, especially in school.

But I was uncomfortable at times. I felt forced to be someone I wasn't. This included being outgoing, going to parties, just fitting in with the rest.

I got tired of putting on a mask. Many of those people also ended up disappointing me or we just faded.

That larger circle is non-existent now and I'm mostly alone. I only have 3 friends, one of whom I speak to regularly.

Imo, it's better to have a smaller circle. I feel for you because it really is difficult as a person with autism to go out and form relationships. People won't be patient with you and they'll be quick to push you away despite it not being your fault at all.

Regardless, I think a smaller circle is the way to go. It's draining to have so many people in your life, having to always deal with drama and worrying about who will turn on or wrong you at any given moment.

As you get older, circles will get smaller and you will cherish these 1-2 friends more and more.

You have a good idea of what you should seek out. I hope you find a support system in the future that consists of people whom are patient, understanding, and like to be around you.

 

[catastrophix]

I have two friends, but I think I made one of them upset with me so that number might jump down to one soon. And I feel the same way, that I only need to matter to a few close friends. It takes a lot of effort to understand what you've concluded, so kudos to you for that. Hope you meet some good friends soon :]

 

[Chara]

Have one sorta friend who know in real life, one friend friend online and one maybe friend just met on this site who called a friend but am not sure if we are actually friends yet or if they are just being nice cause it's only been two days so am really not sure???

 

[fleischmaschina]

Zero. No real friends as well as superficial ones one would hang out with.

 

[CarambaAlbum]

Two friends in secondary school. One girlfriend. Now I'm down to one, a friend I've met at a youth centre.

Just remember OP, quality > quantity. I'd rather have one guy who would take a bullet for me than ten people who are just energy sucking leeches.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Me, myself, and I
Each personality is unique
I am the trinity

 

[whywere]

All the members on SS and besides that ZERO outside of SS.

Walter

 

[valacat]

I have absolutely zero friends. Not since I was about 12 anyway, that's when I was taken out of school and lost any social interaction I've ever gotten. I practically rot away in my house 24/7 and I'm way too terrified of people to want to do anything anymore lol.

 

[_Alfarooq_]

Starting to realize I probably only need a small circle say 1-2 really close friends to be content. Something that makes me suicidal is looking up all the ways that autistic people have hard times with social interactions and how we come off to others. It's always triggering being told you're creepy for existing or that you're a psycho or a re**rd. Lately I've come to realize that how society at large views me shouldn't dictate how I feel. It's how I make the people around me feel and how they make me feel that matters. If i'm enough for even 1-2 people in this world no matter how fucked up they are themselves i'm happy with that.

0 unless you count the ones in Roblox. Which have no idea about my true stupid identity.

 

[Rocinante]

outside of online? 0 Since I quit communicating with anyone and deleted socials

 

[hamvil]

I used to have some friends during school and during university. Then at each cycle, I never managed to keep in contact with them. Some of them still organize trips together but nobody ever invited me. My character tends to have this effect. After university I had work colleagues, some could be considered friends, but I lost that job and it is hard to make new friends at 44, everybody has life problems and not enough time to dedicate to knowing another person, plus I am not an interesting person to know. I have a sort of friend, we meet 2/3 times per year because we do the holiday in the same city. He was a colleague in a previous workplace. We meet and have a drink and talk about the past a bit of the present and of the future then we say bye. Maybe during the same holiday, we meet a second time but it is rare. I do not want to impose my presence and he never proposed to go out again. I will meet him again in August. He is funny maybe not my preferred person but i cannot be picky with the only friend I have. I used to have another one virtual on TG met here but i fuckit up, i deleted her contact and now I do not know how to recover it. So total 1 friend which i meet 2/3 times a year, he is not for long chats, he is 47 i think in this age we are not much interested in long chat like the younger ones but I could be mistaken.

 

[blitz]

None. At this point I don't even want any.

 

[psp3000]

none, I try/have tried to make friends but it's hard because I am socially inept and also I find it hard to make connections with people

so all of my friendships in the past just felt like a few people coexisting with each other

kind of like if there was an office full of cubicles and you're aware of the person in the next one and you know of them but you aren't acquaintances or friends I don't know how to explain it

I don't think I want to try anymore because of bad experiences as well and not being able to fit in well (being used, a last resort, a therapist, being seen as annoying, being abandoned, etc.)

I do not like having to change my interests or personality around people I only like gaining new interests from those around me because it shows that maybe they accept me for who I am I don't know or maybe it because they don't mind someone different to share things with rather than trying or attempting to change them into an exact copy of themselves

 

[Psychedelics]

Starting to realize I probably only need a small circle say 1-2 really close friends to be content. Something that makes me suicidal is looking up all the ways that autistic people have hard times with social interactions and how we come off to others. It's always triggering being told you're creepy for existing or that you're a psycho or a re**rd. Lately I've come to realize that how society at large views me shouldn't dictate how I feel. It's how I make the people around me feel and how they make me feel that matters. If i'm enough for even 1-2 people in this world no matter how fucked up they are themselves i'm happy with that.

None I cut my last friend off

 

[cgrtt.brns]

thats difficult for me to answer bc my idea of a friend seems to be different to everyone else's. being autistic and having bpd i rly struggle to maintain friendships, but i still consider the ppl i dont talk to anymore as friends, or at least acquaintances, but they dont seem to think of me as a friend anymore. as far as ppl i talk to regularly, probably 4, but lately ive stopped being able to talk to anyone bc of my mental health declining considerably so im not sure how long those friends will consider themselves my friend. some days i wish i had no friends so life could be easier bc social interactions drain me so much, i had a period during my teens when i cut everyone off bc i was paranoid that i was ruining their lives. but then other times i wish i had just one friend i could talk to and be with every day who i knew loved and cared about me for who i am and not what i can do for them if that makes sense. i rarely see any of my friends in person anymore. its lonely, but everytime i do see them its so draining i wish i never had to see another human again. its so confusing. i dont feel connected to any of my friends, its all superficial, its nothing theyve done its just the way i am i feel like ill never feel connected to someone. idk.

 

[mafuyu]

I have a lot of internet friends. But, I'm only close to about 2 of them. We have bonded over a similar hobby (in my case, Project Sekai, it's a mobile rhythm game) so that's my advice. I'm also autistic. I have found some autistic friends in the community too, and we very much understand each other. It's really nice. I'm aware I'm lucky, but yeah, my advice is to bone over something. You will need to talk though lol.

 

[aGoodDayToDie]

1 online friend

 

[whywere]

1 online friend

Howdy!

I have been on SS for a little over 3 years and this, at least for me, is one huge family.

I hope that in some small way it is for you also, and I consider you a good friend and part of my family. I have ZERO family nor friends, except everyone here.

Lots of huge hugs, love and the knowledge that you are a very valuable and caring soul.

Walter

 

[sensenmann]

zer0

 

[HighFlight]

none... I'd like to have a couple, but social phobia prevents that from happening. So stuck with Zero.

 

[MidnightGloom]

None. I'm already very introverted, but I completely gave up on friends since I was young. After being manipulated, used, cut off, left behind, ignored, and treated as if I were invisible by everyone I've been friends with, I've come to learn that friends are only a phenomenon for me. Besides that, I've only been treated as a therapist, which is obviously annoying. Maybe I just have an unlikeable personality, but I've always been treated like this and don't ever see things changing. I don't know how to recover from this part of me, but it'd be nice to find people again.

 

[thx1138]

Lately I've come to realize that how society at large views me shouldn't dictate how I feel.

Well done!!! I'm really happy for you. I admire that you were able to realize this. I wish I could do the same.

I don't have any friends. When I try to make some, I always fail. But I keep trying. I really hope it will work someday. And I wish the same to everyone else who wrote here. You're not alone in feeling alone...

 

[enough of this]

none, I try/have tried to make friends but it's hard because I am socially inept and also I find it hard to make connections with people

so all of my friendships in the past just felt like a few people coexisting with each other

kind of like if there was an office full of cubicles and you're aware of the person in the next one and you know of them but you aren't acquaintances or friends I don't know how to explain it

I don't think I want to try anymore because of bad experiences as well and not being able to fit in well (being used, a last resort, a therapist, being seen as annoying, being abandoned, etc.)

I do not like having to change my interests or personality around people I only like gaining new interests from those around me because it shows that maybe they accept me for who I am I don't know or maybe it because they don't mind someone different to share things with rather than trying or attempting to change them into an exact copy of themselves

I don't see you as socially inept. You speak well for yourself. Although, I can understand why ANYone in this world finds it hard to make connections. Just remember, it's not always YOU. So many people live in isolation these days, and don't know how to connect.

There are people who accept you as you are. I'm one of them.

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

Somewhere between zero and two. But it's difficult to say.

 

[David_S]

Something I've learned firsthand: friends aren't real. Don't put so much stock in their concept, it'll save you later.

 

[enough of this]

1 online friend

That's better than none.

 

[jemetire]

00

 

[scared:bug]

Zero. It was upsetting to me a few years ago. I tried to make friends out of desperation; in the end this left me hurt. One of my previous friends reached out to try to become friends again recently. I declined. I am OK on my own. Maintaining friendship takes much energy. I have autism as well. I try to become my own friend currently. This is enough.