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Discussion How many days without CTB thoughts?

O

Okami

Student
Mar 16, 2018
124
Zero. The thoughts get worse with time.
 
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sarahR

sarahR

Experienced
Nov 11, 2020
225
1
 
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N

netrezven

Mage
Dec 13, 2018
515
8 months clean from that
 
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N

netrezven

Mage
Dec 13, 2018
515
puppy9 said:
Clean from ctb thoughts? How did you do it?

Almost 2 days for me hope to see day 3. :mmm:
Click to expand...
Realized the reasons in the first place. I knew something is wrong with my head. For an year tried to live with the "i've bipolar" idea, witch also fit quite well, but it didn't helped alot. So by accident i was watching youtube videos about mental health and found out what osdd/did is. I had no idea such thing existed and it made sence to all. So we have an alter or a few more, that don't wanna exists. I know their resons and there is really logic behind it. Anyway it was good to know that there are others, that don't mind death, but have some plans and ambitions to be set before we go. So without any risk boundries we made a deal on how to keep it on for now and possibly in the future.
For those who don't know what it is - it's basically the highest level of PTSD, and few or many minds/well actually people/ share one body with different memories or some shared memories with possible emotional detachment from them./ And it's hard to spot even by yourselfs.
 
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G

GoneGoneGone

Enlightened
Apr 1, 2020
1,141
0
 
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Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,794
2 now
 
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GravityUtilizer

GravityUtilizer

Born to lose
May 22, 2020
737
0. But had a good run of days/maybe even weeks before this weekend. Nothing too major happened; it can just get on you again can't it? A tedious cycle of false dawns and crushing lows.
 
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sarahR

sarahR

Experienced
Nov 11, 2020
225
Today I'm in 0 just want this day to be done with! Please night arrive so I can go to sleep!
 
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D

Darknessallaround

Member
Nov 16, 2019
26
I don't remember a day I didn't think about CTB in the last 18 years.
 
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Querry1

Querry1

life is unfair, ctb or get away
Aug 16, 2018
180
My last weekend I've had no suicidal thoughts since a long time, but today we back on it baby, I'm on meds so those may affect it as I'm ready to end it all but I'm still trying for my sister and my friends, I want to exploit all of the options, sorry for the little rant
 
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signifying nothing

signifying nothing

-
Sep 13, 2020
2,553
I think reading about others on this site has helped me feel less suicidal, but I don't think the idea is ever going to be off the table.
 
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puppy9

puppy9

au revoir
Jun 13, 2019
1,238
Almost approaching day 3 and it's rocky :ehh:,,,
 
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brood

brood

It's how I live, not how long I live.
Sep 4, 2019
62
Every day, often more than once a day I balance the life I have against the life I wish for, taking into consideration increasingly limited mobility, body parts that just don't work as they used to, aches and pains and whether I still look forward to tomorrow. So far I am happy to carry on, but I can see that at sometime in the future I will make the decision to kill myself and I am happy and comfortable with the situation. Everything is in place for the act to be carried out, I believe I will know when the time is right, not too far in the future I think.
 
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VivaldiBR

VivaldiBR

Experienced
Oct 4, 2020
249
One week today. :)

And my life stills a shithole.
 
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J

JustDie

Member
Jun 18, 2018
54
Maybe a week. Until today :(
 
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puppy9

puppy9

au revoir
Jun 13, 2019
1,238
I'm back to zero sadly :aw:
 
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IRIYAMA

IRIYAMA

Student
Apr 10, 2018
146
A day break from the ideation on rare occasions. Feels like it's consumed me totally.
 
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sadworld

sadworld

existence is a nightmare
Aug 25, 2020
3,870
I've been at 0 days for a year... ;-;
 
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Deleted member 23009

Deleted member 23009

a flame dancing in the rain
Oct 20, 2020
138
0, would like to die this second
 
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VivaldiBR

VivaldiBR

Experienced
Oct 4, 2020
249
puppy9 said:
Clean from ctb thoughts? How did you do it?

Almost 2 days for me hope to see day 3. :mmm:
Click to expand...

I told the things i'm doing here:
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...ds-and-psychiatrist-about-planning-ctb.51990/
 
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T

TheSkyIsBlue

Student
May 16, 2020
113
About a week, but I broke my strike today
 
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VivaldiBR

VivaldiBR

Experienced
Oct 4, 2020
249
Zero again. :ehh:
One week is my new record.
 
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B

Bigpink

Warlock
Oct 12, 2020
705
Daily, a source of comfort and solace.
 
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puppy9

puppy9

au revoir
Jun 13, 2019
1,238
Moving towards day one, half way there but it's shaky
 
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puppy9

puppy9

au revoir
Jun 13, 2019
1,238
giphy.gif
 
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puppy9

puppy9

au revoir
Jun 13, 2019
1,238
It was hell yesterday but I made it to

iu
 
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