Discussion How many attempts you've had and why you think you were unsuccessful

[gardenofaphrodite]

I've had one attempt, failed due to how painful it was for me, I had to seek help.

I took a good amount of Tylenol & an absolutely massive bottle of 200mg ibuprofen that was brand new (probably hundreds of pills). I took the whole bottle, after about a little over a half an hour in, the stomach pain was so intense I couldn't handle it. The aftermath in the ER was the worst part of it when it came to physical pain.

If I had access to sleeping pills at the time, I actually do believe my attempt would have been successful, with the amount it took - it would have been fatal if I had sat through the pain. I could have just fallen asleep but unfortunately I didn't have any

 

[mb0099]

Let's see, my first attempt was when I was 11. OD, didn't know what I was doing obviously and just grabbed a packet of pills then took them all. Woke up the next day fine and told nobody.

When I was 14 I bought some paracetamol and ibuprofen, then proceeded to take every pill in the house at the time. Vomited a lot and ended up in hospital for a couple of nights.

20 I took an (accidental or on purpose) OD on propranolol, had a cardiac arrest and had to be brought back. Was placed in a medically induced coma and managed to make it out with no damage to my heart or brain.

23 I took another OD, called the paramedics myself and ended up in a psych ward for a short time.

25 I took another OD, this time propranolol I bought online to replicate the previous one. Almost got there but SI kicked in.

31 took an OD a few weeks ago, called the paramedics myself stupidly. Tried partial hanging and it didn't work. Tried full and SI kicked in otherwise it would have worked. Regretting that decision massively and the next time I'm alone I'm doing it.

During your last attempt and tried full hanging, how did you get out of it when SI kicked in? What happened?

 

[StolenLife]

I've had two attempts - one as a 16yo when I tried to overdose on some pills which turned out not to be lethal at all and another in october when I wanted to jump off a bridge but SI was too strong.

 

[JustWantOut500]

I've had several nights of countless partial attempts. What's stopping me is the inability to get to the point of passing out. When the blood is being cut off to your brain, you have the urge to gasp for air in the same way you would if you were trying to hold your breath to the point of passing out, but it's cut off to the brain instead of the lungs. Just keep trying and trying hoping one of these nights I get lucky, just don't have a better method right now.

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

0 because im a fucking pussy

 

[Lourenzo]

I have had 2 failed attempts. The first was at age 9 by partial hanging with an electrical cord tied off to my top bunk, instinct kicked in and I panicked. The second was an od at 24 by means of Oxycodone (510mgs), Alprazolam (12mgs), and alcohol (500 ml). Unfortunately I was found very quickly.

 

[inmyhead]

During your last attempt and tried full hanging, how did you get out of it when SI kicked in? What happened?

The anchor knot failed. I had tied it the way one of the guides on here showed me how to but the rope was a little too long so I looped it round and then tied a knot that wasn't as tight. But I thought it would hold.

I started. I panicked almost immediately and was pulling at the noose on my neck, trying to get it off but not too hard in case I cut myself (and I was conscious if I died then I didn't want to look like I'd had second thoughts and leave my mum with that memory when she found me). But I was trying to pull on the knot behind my neck except it just tightened (obviously did it right).

I don't know how long that lasted but I know my body started spasming and I was barely aware of it. I could feel darkness setting in and I was numb. The pain on my neck only lasted around 10-20 seconds I think.

Then my feet landed on the ground. The knot I looped broke and I was on the ground. I was still spasming but things slowly came back after that. I was super sedated because I had taken a cocktail of meds so I hid the rope and went to bed and slept for 14 hours.

I hope that isn't too graphic or anything, just thought I would say what happened!

 

[FindingHome]

I've had many attempts since I began attempting in 2020. I think the reason why they were unsuccessful is because I didn't know the proper way to kill myself. I thought that swallowing 10 OTC pills would kill me, or that swallowing household poisons, laundry detergent, pesticides would kill me. Now that I have spoken to other suicidal people and have found this forum, I am learning of more successful ways to end my life.

 

[UKscotty]

Too many, all basically because I am a coward or just didn't plan right.

I will count an 'attempt' as any occasion where I got things ready and initiated the method. Not in time order, some are years apart.

1. Built a guillotine, didn't want to leave such a gruesome corpse in the end when I was about to leave, couldn't pull the cord

2. Jump from beachy head, essentially a big coward.

3. CO, didn't plan right and was discovered

4. H2S, was far too drunk by time it was to make the mix and had a nervous breakdown

5. Hanging, too many to remember, just a coward most times

6. Jumping from building, was too much of a coward when I was looking down

7. Cyanide, couldn't take the drink, was too scared about the pain

 

[Ashu]

1. Five.
2. I wasn't violent enough.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I have three. I tried cutting an artery, but the knife I was using was too dull and it turned out my mom was heading home so I had to put it away. I tried using one of the pills I take for my eczema since they were the only ones I had on hand at the time. The first time I took 50, but it didn't do much outside of making me drowsy. Then, I doubled the amount and it caused my body to feel very heavy (like I had a bunch of bricks tied to me), made me become light-headed, drowsy, and caused the world around me to tilt back and forth. After a few hours I decided that it wasn't working and that I should just get ready for school and try again some other time, but the symptoms had gotten worse and I ended up texting my mom about what I did, like a fucking coward. I still feel embarrassed over how much I've failed. I haven't attempted again since, though I have been researching other methods.

 

[R_N]

It was not always the same reason. Sometimes it felt painful so I gave up. Other times I was scared or felt pathetic and angry afterwards because in those scenarios I wanted to ctb because of the other people. So I felt annoyed by them having so much power over me.
There was also empathy towards myself hurting myself as weird as it sounds. Like in the middle of it I would feel sorry for myself.
And there were times I probably didn't really wanted to do it and just wanted to escape the situation I was in.

I think there was only one scenario where I would die and that was when my full suspension setup was weak and I fell down. Because I actually let go compared to times I would just stare at the noose.


I can't really count because I wanted to die many times even tho my attempts weren't exactly all that.

 

[a_depressed_lizard]

I've failed partial suspension a few times, I just cant seem to get it in the right spot to where I can pass out.

I've also tried to slit my wrists, for that I couldn't hit a artery

 

[bessops1976]

In the past 12 months I think about 4, I tried a massive mixed overdose with lithium which left me comatose for two days, hallucinating, shaking horrifically and extremely sick; oh and I broke my foot from falling during this attempt... two carbon monoxide attempts, one which left me with a severe headache and pain for a couple of days (and a gashed knee from falling) and one partial hanging but I couldn't find the right pressure points. Of all of them carbon monoxide would be my next bet as it seems the most deadly, and I've read about successful attempts using the same technique I tried. Im actually struggling with fatigue currently, so feel too tired to logistically try again - I find that very ironic. I seem to just injure myself by falling during attempts, but never lucky enough to finish me

 

[conejo triste]

I've had a few attempts with all of them being od. Almost all of them were impulsive and added with the fact I wasn't educated on lethal doses none of them worked

 

[tortilla.medicine]

1. N2 but the nitrogen wasn't pure, probably had CO2 mixed in, so I got hypercapnic and had to abort;
2. Full suspension hanging but I chickened out with some rope burns around my neck;
3. Full suspension hanging but I wrapped slack rope around the boards I was hanging from so I fell to the floor, luckily didn't break anything;

Aiming to do full suspension hanging this weekend with no slack and the correct knots. Wish me luck.

 

[ddn.ctb]

One major one and a bunch of tests

As a teenager I did a full suspension hanging with a towel but it broke because I did not really know what I was doing

The tests are more about other things

 

[tinyghost]

several half assed "attempts" with partial hanging/going to the tracks but not following through/ods that i knew would probably not kill me and i never sought medical care for. 2 serious attempts. once an od on oxy, failed bc i didnt take enough i guess. once full suspension hanging. i fell on my ass and got myself found and carted off to the hospital. apparently my body thrashing after i lost consciousness caused the belt to come undone from where i anchored it.