Gone soon

Gone soon

Guy who likes wearing womens' clothes
Jun 11, 2024
95
I've probably attempted to ctb more than 20 times, of which two were really serious. The first time I put my head into a noose was probably at the age of 13 or 14. A few times I tried to strangle myself with a scarf or a pantyhose, but that was rather just to try out. At 15 I almost died of partial hanging but was found, already unconscious, by my father. Two years ago I tried full suspension when I was drunk, and I managed to abort that attempt due to pain and panic
 
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C

CantDoIt

Specialist
Jul 18, 2024
357
0 but hoping to graduate to 1 and hoping it stays there haha. I'm sorry you've gone through so much and had so many attempts! It must have been so difficult! :(
 
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Gone soon

Gone soon

Guy who likes wearing womens' clothes
Jun 11, 2024
95
I keep my fingers crossed for you to make it in one attempt. I probably had so many fails because I'm rather a coward. Anyway I hope my next attempt will be my last
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
36,334
I haven't properly attempted at all because of the absence of means to free myself from this existence in a painless guaranteed way, what I'd fear is trying to die going wrong and leading to much more unbearable suffering. It horrifies me how there's no limit as to how much a human can suffer in this existence, I really wish I have the option to just peacefully cease existing and finally find peace from this terrible, torturous existence.
 
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C

CantDoIt

Specialist
Jul 18, 2024
357
I keep my fingers crossed for you to make it in one attempt. I probably had so many fails because I'm rather a coward. Anyway I hope my next attempt will be my last
I am also a coward, so I have to be real. I hate knowing that I'm not even a strong person.
 
Lady Laudanum

Lady Laudanum

灵魂转世而我消亡
May 9, 2024
565
4 times so far. Twice in my teens, once a couple years ago, and once recently that landed me in the psych ward. No plans to attempt again for now, because the logistics simply won't work out.
 
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W

whywere

Visionary
Jun 26, 2020
2,842
2, both by hanging. 1st time the damn rope broke and the 2nd time I had cops rushing at me and pinning me against the wall, so that one did not end good.

The 2nd one, I got a call on my cell from police dispatch stating to either open the door to my flat or else, I live on a 1st floor flat.

Walter
 
Lady Laudanum

Lady Laudanum

灵魂转世而我消亡
May 9, 2024
565
2, both by hanging. 1st time the damn rope broke and the 2nd time I had cops rushing at me and pinning me against the wall, so that one did not end good.

The 2nd one, I got a call on my cell from police dispatch stating to either open the door to my flat or else, I live on a 1st floor flat.

Walter
Your second attempt turned out pretty similarly to mine. Unfortunately, I miscalculated the time difference and sent my scheduled message to my only friend too early. He called police and EMS to my place 20 minutes before I managed to CTB.
 
huntermellow

huntermellow

another bpd death statistic
Aug 6, 2024
136
i think 3. but they don't even really count cos i wasn't even close to dying. i just looked like an attention seeking teen
 
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W

whywere

Visionary
Jun 26, 2020
2,842
I am also a coward, so I have to be real. I hate knowing that I'm not even a strong person.
HELL NO! You ARE a VERY strong soul, and NEVER EVER let anyone tell you differently.

You took the time to not only be on here and help yourself and others but helping me and if that is not being strong, I do not know what is.

Have a great rest of this week, my good friend.

Walter
Your second attempt turned out pretty similarly to mine. Unfortunately, I miscalculated the time difference and sent my scheduled message to my only friend too early. He called police and EMS to my place 20 minutes before I managed to CTB.
For the life of me, I will NEVER understand, but my psychologist thought that something was amiss with me and called the cops on me. He was 100% correct, as I was going for my 2nd attempt, but how he came to calling the cops, I will NEVER get EVER.

Walter
 
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Danby

Danby

Just remember that the last laugh is on you
Aug 13, 2024
39
Hmmm . . . at least two. Tried to hang myself, first with a belt then with a rope, but couldn't get it right, then tried the night-night method and couldn't get that to work either (I think the beanbags were too small).
 
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CantDoIt

Specialist
Jul 18, 2024
357
HELL NO! You ARE a VERY strong soul, and NEVER EVER let anyone tell you differently.

You took the time to not only be on here and help yourself and others but helping me and if that is not being strong, I do not know what is.

Have a great rest of this week, my good friend.

Walter

For the life of me, I will NEVER understand, but my psychologist thought that something was amiss with me and called the cops on me. He was 100% correct, as I was going for my 2nd attempt, but how he came to calling the cops, I will NEVER get EVER.

Walter
Aww thank you! I hope some of the things I ramble on about can be of use. :)
 
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dragonofenvy

dragonofenvy

Mage
Oct 8, 2023
560
Four times this year alone. I've averaged about 1 or 2 per year for the past couple of years. At 11-12 I tried a lot too. If I had to take a guess I'd say maybe 20 times? Not all of them were serious of course. The serious ones I can remember was putting a gun to my head several times when I was 10, 12, 16, 18, and 20 but pussying out with my finger only slightly pressing against the trigger. And another time when I tried freezing myself to death and then going to bridge a few months later. The latter two were this year.

I would get scared just before but still half-heartedly go through as much as the process as I could before, glumly, I'd realize I couldn't go through with it. It really sucks that it has to be this way. Not wanting to live, never having a chance to live, unable to feel alive, unable to die. What is one supposed to do?
 
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S

Sat

Member
Aug 12, 2024
15
Lost count but if I were to include like randomly tying something around my neck tightly to strangle myself or trying to stab myself with a cutter, maybe around 40 times. Again, I fail these because there's something that's stopping me that I don't know, yet it feels painful trying to think what even is it when I have, nothing.
 
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tenshi天神

tenshi天神

everything i love gathers dust inside my chest
Aug 13, 2024
17
4, but only 2 were serious & I recovered at home by myself bc my mom didn't want to take me to the doctor lol. all were ods! ill probably od again in the future but next time is gonna be THE time. no room for failure!
 
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Enga

Enga

Member
May 27, 2024
25
I am not sure honestly what counts as an attempt. If I didn't die and didn't get serious injuries was it really an attempt? So it depends. From 0 to 2.
 
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F

fafnir_lol

Member
Feb 11, 2024
7
9 Times, couple months ago I tried partial hanging but couldn't get it right, will probably try again soon. Full suspension is too scary for me to try in case something goes wrong :p
 
C

cosmicsoleil

Member
Aug 19, 2024
17
45 times in 13 years.

Closest time was when I was found unconscious in the A&E toilets after tying a ligature. Apparently I was blue. They had to call the crash team, but unfortunately I was found 5 minutes too early and alas, I'm still alive
 
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Oeoe3

Oeoe3

Aaaahhh
Aug 21, 2024
17
Probably around five if I were to count the last two from yesterday and today. Can't believe I'm still fine after swallowing a bottle of pills, I had even did a snowwhite pose while waiting. Oh well, stay safe everyone! <3
 
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Karl Heisenberg

Karl Heisenberg

Member
May 28, 2024
19
I've got 4 attempts for now, nearly each with a different method. Another one is comming soon I think.
The first one I did was when I was around 11. I tried to cut my veins and bleed out, but it didn't work + my parents revealed it and took me to the hospital.
The second and third was by overdosing. I tried to overdose myself on caffeine and magnesium pills. The magnesium did nothing to me but the caffeine was terrible experience. I took it just before I went to the bed. I was throwing up all night and in the morning I felt like half dead.
The fourth I tried was by partial hanging but I couldn't stand the pain. I was left just with a hard headache.
Yesterday I bought a black powder shotgun (which is legal in my country) and gonna try that someday. I just want to know that I can leave at any time.
If I did any grammatical mistakes, I am sorry.
 
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C

CantDoIt

Specialist
Jul 18, 2024
357
Can't believe that so many people here have had so many attempts and are still alive, 😭😭😭 I hope that's not the norm
 
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badK9wolf

Member
Jul 18, 2024
18
god i believe i tried to hang myself maybe 10 times, but I'm not so sure how serious I was. Tried to jump off a bridge once.
 
littleinsanity

littleinsanity

Krackhead Bunni
Jun 21, 2024
43
Where I "actively" "did something to die, probably 2?
Where I tried to do something but ended up not doing anything, I don't have a count
 
F

Fakefriendhate_Maxx

I just hope my death makes more sense than my life
May 18, 2024
90
At least just one. Can't rememeber nothing, 'cause i mixed ativan and alcohol and different other sedatives - not a good idea. My parents told me what happened as they witnessed everything... Btw I jumped off the window. 😭 I had some horrible days at the ICU followed by psych ward.
 
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xxCuteSprinklesxx

xxCuteSprinklesxx

Hi! :>
May 3, 2024
8
4 times so far. I hope my next one will be successful. As for me, jumping is the only available method…
 
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Cress

Cress

Arcanist
Oct 15, 2023
406
I've had three Suicide instances where I expected my mind to shut down and die. Of course outside of that I've been suicidal and many many times standing out by the train tracks thinking about jumping in front of a passing train and stuff like that.
 
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tsykoais

tsykoais

i can't drown my demons they know how to swim
Apr 9, 2023
125
3
 
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3/4Dead

3/4Dead

Peace, Love, Empathy
Feb 27, 2024
356
Can't believe that so many people here have had so many attempts and are still alive, 😭😭😭 I hope that's not the norm
The norm on this website? im not sure, the norm in regular day to day life? nah.

(not a part of the reply >>)
I've never seriously attempted, in my opinon. nothing like "well I really tried and i really failed" that i'd really count, yknow.
 
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michibella

michibella

Member
Apr 25, 2024
10
None yet, i plan on having one definitive one (hope it works out)
 
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