Discussion How many are here because they can't find intimacy?

[iwantangels]

Lack of intimacy was a symptom of the problem that puts me here. I can't properly love or be close to anyone because I'm disturbed. I wish I could experience it but I will never let someone get close enough to touch me. I couldn't do that to myself.

 

[Pluto]

 

[PersonBeforeLife]

As a woman I face the same problem, just differently. I'm looking for a partner, a person that values me for who I am and treats me as a human being.
Instead, every single man I meet sees me as nothing but a potential f*ck toy and doesn't care about who I am. They don't want to get to know me, they don't want to deal with anything that has to do with my life, they only want to meet if the meeting ends in sex and if we do anything else it's only because he wants sex in return.

I have not met a single man in my almost 40 years who was any different.
So... If I want to just randomly sleep around, I could do that. But believe me, you don't want to. It's just utterly degrading anf disgusting to be seen as equal to a fleshlight and nothing else.

I'm also not very attractive, so not many men are interested din me in general. And, like already said, if they are it's solely because they are lonely and desperate and just take anything at all as long as it has a v*agina....

Not one single person is interested in a relationship. And the few ones that were turned out to only get into a relationship with me for the sex and nothing else. Which I, sadly, relaized too late.

As soon as the relationship started all pretends flew out the window. They lost all interest in knowing me as a person, except it was a detail that led to sex. They did not want to know about any problems unless they prevented sex. Etc.

Doesn't feel good at all. :/

Btw. I have a dozen of hobbies and none of them is doom scrolling. I do gaming, hiking, some programming, some artsy stuff, etc. So that shouldn't be a problem, unless the guy himself doesn't want to do nothing but sit on the sofa all day.

Wow how does a world of effortless connection lead to that... I mean men like that are the reason prostitution exists...I mean I'd love a relationship where it's not only the bedroom but actually game together, go to the cinema and actually share a life outside of the bedroom where the bedroom is just part of the intimacy where we make eachother feel special (I can't do it with a prostitute because the enjoyment isn't mutual though I thought of paying for a prostitute to simply rant about life and feel seen just talking and being Heard even if it's just an act... Hence why I can't just see a prostitute and be happy and in fact why I'm here)

I mean... Sharing hobbies and interests is like the whole point of a relationship for me. If she has hobbies I wasn't into id become interested in them just to share them with her.