How long?

[cherry7]

How long have you been contemplating CTB for?

 

[DiglySilly]

I thought about CTB at age 8 when I came in last place in a cycling race.

Yes I know, pathetic

 

[randy]

Since I was 16.

I am 54. So almost 40 years

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I thought about CTB at age 8 when I came in last place in a cycling race.

Yes I know, pathetic

It always seems to be pressure or external environmental factors. I get trying to "better" you child but when it's forced or some narcissistic reason the parents want their child to do is when things go south.

Was forced to make friends on primary school. Had one friend. All seemed fine. When we went to the secondary school (year 7) the first week he started clicing with a group and they start to bully me. Trust issues since then but I think only relationship when she left destroyed the last bit of trust I had left. Unfortunately have to box it up. Only give my time to animals now.

 

[DiglySilly]

It always seems to be pressure or external environmental factors. I get trying to "better" you child but when it's forced or some narcissistic reason the parents want their child to do is when things go south.

Was forced to make friends on primary school. Had one friend. All seemed fine. When we went to the secondary school (year 7) the first week he started clicing with a group and they start to bully me. Trust issues since then but I think only relationship when she left destroyed the last bit of trust I had left. Unfortunately have to box it up. Only give my time to animals now.

At first, my mother was terrible when I was a child: hitting me, inappropriate behavior in front of my classmates, parties or romantic relationships (which always failed) instead of being by my side in her free time. Now that I'm 18, she has changed a lot, and so have the roles: She is loving and caring, and now I'm the idiot.

I relate to forcing myself to interact with others; at school, teachers would make me do it or sometimes my family.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

At first, my mother was terrible when I was a child: hitting me, inappropriate behavior in front of my classmates, parties or romantic relationships (which always failed) instead of being by my side in her free time. Now that I'm 18, she has changed a lot, and so have the roles: She is loving and caring, and now I'm the idiot.

I relate to forcing myself to interact with others; at school, teachers would make me do it or sometimes my family.

Watch the adult swim short called Opal. It's very relatable. Single parents are the absolute worst, why? You bring a child into the world without thinking about keeping a solid base together. The worst bully's I had were always from single parents parents households. That's not to say two parents can mess you up as well but I think a larger percentage goes to single parent households.

 

[davidtorez]

How long have you been contemplating CTB for?

Since 2018

 

[unabletocope]

Since 2013, a few things happened in 2014 to keep me going and I have sort of wrestled towards life but it came to a head again in 2022, last year I kicked a few things through but I've been going downhill and now is the time where I am really beginning to buckle up, my head is crunching up all the time and I'm working towards ctb

 

[Praestat_Mori]

About 5 - 6 years while the last year is active suicidal.

 

[iloverachel]

about 8 years

 

[FuneralCry]

I know that in my case even when I was very young and became aware of what death was I found comfort in the thought of ceasing to exist, I've always preferred the sound of the true peace of non-existence to having the ability to suffer in this meaningless, cruel and dreadful existence.

But only never existing is true perfection to me, existence is just a harmful, futile imposistion that causes nothing but endless suffering so of course only wanting death makes sense to me, my wish to die is a result of becoming aware of how truly undesirable existence is. I simply don't want to suffer in any way and in existence there is endless potential for suffering, pain and torture, I despise existence, it's evil to me.