I've had periods of time that were short before, and I'm not sure how long this time has been, but I think it's been about eight months- by far the longest- and I don't think it will go away until I ctb. Not sure, but that's how it looks right now.
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I feel like I have been for years very on and off, but passively all the time.
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crippled with grief
- Nov 8, 2021
- 335
I've been suicidal since i was little but it was tolerable at first. It got worse since i went to college and now i want to die everyday. It just got worse and worse. I'm curious how long will it take for me to commit suicide too.
-FrozenRobot-
Let me go...please
- Jul 27, 2021
- 218
When my depression got serious at first, I managed to last 4 months before my 1st serious attempt. After that, I took one month to recover and attempted again. Both were failures. Now I don't know what to do so I'm just living surviving for a few days now. But when shit hits the roof, I'm gonna order SN and end it.
8 months for me too. Have had depression episodes on/off for last 20 years but this consistent thought of suicide is something does not go away now. I do find phases where I can enjoy TV or a comedy show put does not help with this constant thought of getting hands on N and drinking it straight away.
nameeater
the one with many regrets
- Nov 21, 2021
- 105
i've been suicidal since i was 10-11 and my first attempt was when i was 11, first hospitalisation from an attempt was when i was 15
Fadeawaaaay
Visionary
- Nov 12, 2021
- 2,160
Six months so far. I Made a halfhearted attempt after about a month. But Iam a procrastinator. I could see this going on for a while.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,086
I have been suicidal for a long time, since I was very young. For me, over time I have became even more suicidal as I have became even more tired of life. I have never wanted to be alive and I could never quite understand people who wanted to live and enjoyed life. I am not meant for this world. For me suicide is the only thing that makes sense.
It is hard to say what is the average length of time, but I assume there are many people who have been suicidal for a long amount of time. Even know we want to die, we are programmed to survive. Suicide is very difficult after all.
It is hard to say what is the average length of time, but I assume there are many people who have been suicidal for a long amount of time. Even know we want to die, we are programmed to survive. Suicide is very difficult after all.
Marktheghost
Paragon
- Feb 20, 2020
- 911
...
crippled with grief
- Nov 8, 2021
- 335
TheDoomedDoomer
Eternal sleep awaits me
- May 22, 2022
- 140
Been suicidal since I was 13 so it's been 8 years. I'd say the average person deals with it for a few years before CTB.
AllByMyself
Member
- Jun 16, 2022
- 22
I've had suicidal thoughts since I was 10. (Now 42). They have definitely ranged in intensity but I'm not sure I've ever been really free of them- Even in good periods, it seemed like the best option. I guess I've always had suicidal ideation but actually doing it seems a lot more complicated.
For a long time, I felt like there were certain people I just couldn't upset that much- my God Mum and my Dad. My God Mum passed a few years ago. I just don't know what I'll do when my Dad goes. Sort of feel I might still linger on though. Weird but that kind of annoys me.
Really I guess I'm such a coward. I really don't want to risk hurting myself in a failed attempt- even a successful attempt preceeded by a whole load of pain sounds awful.
Plus, while I'm not strictly religious, I'm unsure enough to fear an afterlife with punishment. Logic wants to reassure me there's nothing but hell/purgatory/reincarnation is a nasty-enough nagging thought to frighten me.
I sort of understand the judgement that 'you don't really mean it' if you're still here after all this time supposedly wanting it. Honestly though- it pisses me off when people say stuff like that. No one can know someone else's pain and it's so belittling and dismissive hearing stuff like that. Plus- I don't think it really makes a great point. I suspect many people succeed in commiting suicide partly on impulse. Maybe they didn't 'really mean it' but because they suceeded- does that make their pain/wish more 'valid'?
Not exactly a healthy thing but I actually admire people who go ahead and do it in a way- not to say I don't admire people who manage to turn their lives around- that's incredible. Still- I guess it's in response to people calling suicide 'the cowards way out.' I think it's an incredibly brave thing to do, the most autonomous decision you can make and the most decisive one.
I've always felt that for me to do it would be a matter of bringing things to their logical conclusion but I still have a (horrible) feeling that I won't and I'll die having lived my whole ridiculous life like this.
For a long time, I felt like there were certain people I just couldn't upset that much- my God Mum and my Dad. My God Mum passed a few years ago. I just don't know what I'll do when my Dad goes. Sort of feel I might still linger on though. Weird but that kind of annoys me.
Really I guess I'm such a coward. I really don't want to risk hurting myself in a failed attempt- even a successful attempt preceeded by a whole load of pain sounds awful.
Plus, while I'm not strictly religious, I'm unsure enough to fear an afterlife with punishment. Logic wants to reassure me there's nothing but hell/purgatory/reincarnation is a nasty-enough nagging thought to frighten me.
I sort of understand the judgement that 'you don't really mean it' if you're still here after all this time supposedly wanting it. Honestly though- it pisses me off when people say stuff like that. No one can know someone else's pain and it's so belittling and dismissive hearing stuff like that. Plus- I don't think it really makes a great point. I suspect many people succeed in commiting suicide partly on impulse. Maybe they didn't 'really mean it' but because they suceeded- does that make their pain/wish more 'valid'?
Not exactly a healthy thing but I actually admire people who go ahead and do it in a way- not to say I don't admire people who manage to turn their lives around- that's incredible. Still- I guess it's in response to people calling suicide 'the cowards way out.' I think it's an incredibly brave thing to do, the most autonomous decision you can make and the most decisive one.
I've always felt that for me to do it would be a matter of bringing things to their logical conclusion but I still have a (horrible) feeling that I won't and I'll die having lived my whole ridiculous life like this.
12-13 years? There have been periods of time where it's less but never gone. I don't think I've gone a full 24 hours without wanting to in that time frame. More of that time was having it be bad rather than manageable
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