Discussion How long have you wanted to die? I'm almost at my 10 year anniversary

[AutoTap]

Is it bad that I don't even know? Lol

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I'm about to reach 10 years as well. Started when I was 12

 

[MindFog]

Has it really been 8 years? No wonder i feel so tired all the time.

 

[elfgyoza]

Throughout my teens I always thought 'meh I wouldn't mind if I died', but the will to do something about that myself came at 18/19. Maybe I really didn't want to become an adult lol

 

[Going Home]

Since this bullshit began over three years ago.

 

[waterstrider]

ever since I noticed I have nothing achieved in my life (2 years ago) and will also always stay a failure.

 

[fixitinpost]

4 months. I don't think I can hold on for a year of this.

 

[SwagGalore]

41 years (am 48), many failed attempts. Hopefully won't get to 42 years

God, I had a similar onset, six or seven is when I started writing journals full of suicide notes. I'm almost 22, and I'm becoming increasingly convinced my life trajectory will be like yours.

41 years is a long time to put up with that level of suffering. Kudos, and I'm sorry life dealt you this hand.

 

[Gromit-CTB]

God, I had a similar onset, six or seven is when I started writing journals full of suicide notes. I'm almost 22, and I'm becoming increasingly convinced my life trajectory will be like yours.

41 years is a long time to put up with that level of suffering. Kudos, and I'm sorry life dealt you this hand.

Am hoping this is my last week just waiting on some good news to end this rubbish

 

[Deleted member 23586]

18 Years....damn


damn fr....hmm....this makes me think. Maybe in the next 2 years....depends really what all happens...but, i don't have much faith. And that's if I don't have yet another breakdown and crack.

 

[TheLostCause]

Since i was about 13-14. I always said I wouldn't let myself live until 30 and that i would ctb before then. At some point i actually thought i may have got past that but these last few years have made me realize that I haven't and never will. Theres no way ile make it to 30.

 

[Vault of Memories]

27 now and have wanted to since around 13/14.

 

[muffin222]

12 years and counting, sadly. The first suicidal thoughts emerged at the ripe age of 11. My life has been fucked up for a very long time

 

[Sakura94]

It's been in my mind over ten years. Became more serious about it, uh about 2 years ago.

 

[deleted]

6 years. Damn you guys are brave to last 10-20 years I'm losing my mind little by little I don't know how they stand for so long

 

[seeker]

8 years. Since I was 12, now I'm 20. I don't know if I'll be able to manage until 30, and I'm looking for do it by 21.

 

[FuneralCry]

Since I was around 11 years old. I am 20 now. I have never wanted to be alive and life has just been a constant struggle. That age is when I can first remember thinking about leaving this world. Death has always been a comforting thought to me.

 

[Abc]

22 years….Since I was 12 years Never thought would make it till 34. Hope it will end soon

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Officially, about 4 years, but it's been with me for more like 14 and I just wasn't aware of it.

 

[MagentaScorpio]

I think it started in elementary school? It began with me trying to do some "magic" rituals where I started self-harming, however I stopped cutting after my mom fpund out and threathen to call psychiatrist... I was around 11-12 then.
Still I'm trying to ctb, but having full house is not good for this, if not for this I would have ctb sooner...

 

[LifeIsSh*t]

I recently joined and was worried it was going to be all young teenagers here that I couldn't relate to, I see that's not the case. 10+ years.

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

its been a few months now. It comes and goes. I cant wait for the day I have SN at home and can check out at any moment I like. I'll never be happy again but I do enjoy things like reading so that keeps me going. If my mental health is unbearable i will go for euthanasia or discuss suicide with my mom (shes willing to help me). But currently I'm in recovery.

 

[Yakamoz]

Seven months

 

[watchingthewheels]

Since I was 8.

Likewise, when I made my first naive attempt (by trying to hold my breath...)

 

[Darkover]

since i was 18 years old 18 years later i am on my last legs soon to be gone hopefully

 

[Foresight]

I suppose it's over 10 years because my first and most energized attempt was in 2009, but my darkest era really started in 2014.

 

[takemenowpls]

In 10 years have you attempted?