How long have you been suicidal for?

[creatureoflight]

Hi,
How long have you been suicidal for or how long have you been trying to kill yourself?

 

[skitliv]

I've been truly suicidal for 2 years now

 

[BPDprisoner]

I first remember thinking of suicide when i tried to drown myself in the bathtub when i was 8. I dont remember much of being young but know i was thinking about my own suicide for a while before then.

But now i am 26 and i would say i have thought about my suicide daily for the past 5 years. Not a single day has gone by without even thinking about it.

 

[Sternum]

I have wanted to cease existing for 15 years. I have been serious about suicide for 3 years. I hope I have the strength to end it soon. Intellectually, I am already dead (or at least a philosophical zombie, from The Conspiracy Against the Human Race); emotionally, it has been difficult to overcome the survival instinct.

 

[skitliv]

The Conspiracy Against the Human Race

Great book!

 

[Tiburcio]

When I was 12 years I already considered suicide. I don't regret that choice.

 

[Weirdoee]

Suicidal for a year, I've never made an attempt

 

[Deivis]

Since 12 if memory serves right. I'm 42 now - so that is 30 years straight.

Always wanted it. I remember I resolved to buy a poison at age of 12 (because many characters use poisons in adventure books) and one sly foxy guy told me that he has got one. He said, however: "Dont drink it, you need to inhale it, and you'll pass out". I traded it for toy cars or soldiers, but it appeared to be some medicinal liquid, formaldehyde I think. He scammed me :)

I'm positive that it's my nature, if it has been with me for all of my life. I don't mind.

 

[wanttodie]

I've been truly suicidal for 25 years now so its time to end it soon

 

[Ashpac]

Everyday for 15 years. I held on because I believed life would get better and I would get justice for what happened. Now im 31 I did not get my justice and life means nothing to me. Its been like this for a while now. It was only this year where I started to experiment with methods and failed a few times but Im confident my next attempt is the final.

 

[Tomasnil]

30 years ... from age 13 and im 43 now

 

[Final Escape]

I would say since I started prostitution at around 34. I've struggled with suicide ideation all my life but it got worse when I became a hooker for a living. It also became progressively worse on adderall. I been on that since 25 with few short breaks. Longest one was 3 months off. I basically couldn't hold any type of job off amphetamine bc shit like time management is a nightmare. Motivation, mornings, being on time.

 

[Comatose11]

I first had a suicidal thought 11 years ago. It's been consistent for 6-7 years now.

 

[Deivis]

I would say since I started prostitution at around 34.

Sad to hear that. The silver lining is that your avatar is probably the most "kawai" (cute) in the whole forum :)
If reincarnation is true (it's not, but lets just say it is), wish we all wind up an a cat paradise :)

 

[agreement]

First attempt at 14 (36 years ago) then on and off and again on and again off.
Now seriously ON for the last two years.

 

[dwimplepeen213]

10 years, especially the last 3.

 

[JayZT]

How long have i wanted to die?
2-4 years
How long have I lost all hope and tagged myself suicidal?
A few months

 

[mattwitt]

I started thinking about it around 5 years ago. Then about 2 years ago I started planning and preparing.
Now I'm just waiting and might not see 2019 (And I'm fine with that)

 

[Gray Wounds]

I've posted before tht I've only been suicidal since I was 16. But these past few weeks, my mind enabled me to remember the fact that it is wrong.

I've been suicidal since I was a kid. Of course, i cannot remember on what age. But I can seriously remember how I will always attempt to push the point of the knife to my heart and just end it all. Sometimes, I bang my head loudly to the walls, thinking that I might bleed out or anything. But no. I didn't. So, yeah.

 

[Imaginos]

I've wanted to escape from the snare of existence for what is essentially my entire life, but as far as direct suicidal thoughts are concerned, that started round about when I was 12-13. Jumping out in front of a passing car/bus is one of the earliest fantasies I can recall. All in a desperate desire to flee from this accursed world. These days, I'm lucky if I think, or feel anything, but those same suicidal thoughts are always with me. Always.

 

[Adei]

I wanted to kill myself when I was 13... I tried to kill myself first when I was 18 and failed...Now I'm 40+ and I still want to die.

 

[RevolutionaryRed]

Since I was 16

 

[Laggy]

Can I just say how heartbreaking and depressing it is to see how many people have been wanting to kill themselves but have been unable to for 30+ years?

How is it even possible to endure that long? :(

 

[JustDie]

Since 10 I wanted to kill myself, but more life is shit I want it to stop being shit and less daily everyday I want to end this shit existence. Then it got better, then it got shit at 13 and now everyday I think about death. So, 2 real years of being suicidal, and 4 years of sorta being sad here and there so light depression. Only the last year did I start to research proper methods and really take steps in ending my life, and preparation.

 

[skyofAuroras]

Been thinking about suicide daily since I was 14. I attempted once at 17 and now I'm 20. I probably had a few suicidal thoughts before then but I don't remember.

 

[pride and prejudeath]

I'm new to this, it's probably only been a few months. I'll probably be for a few more years, though, for certain reasons.

 

[Lost]

Since 2 years and failed once

 

[Jon86]

It's been nearly 10 years now, have been battling depression for around 20.

 

[Vvoiid]

Been passively suicidal my whole life but only 3 years ago I started actively trying to end it.

 

[Vvoiid]

I wanted to kill myself when I was 13... I tried to kill myself first when I was 18 and failed...Now I'm 40+ and I still want to die.

This is exactly what I am afraid of. That one day I wake up 40 shit years old and failed to do it. I don't want to become that old. I want to end it now. Those decades of pain, I can not even imagine what that must've been like.