Discussion how long did it take to get to "lost all hope" stage?

[sayire]

we have all heard that phrase.

the thing is what does that mean? I have read few threads here that seem to conclude that they have lost all hope from one incident! I feel that is bit being in a rush to say lost all hope from one incident.

for me it was a process that took a total of ~5years. with ~2years of really trying hard.

what is your opinion of reasonable time to say all hope is lost?

 

[Darkover]

what happened to your other thread about "if you had N how long would it be before you take it"

 

[sdk]

I think the spread is going to be huge. You lose hope when you've tried everything and nothing worked, I guess.

I've had depression for about 10 years, and I've been trying hard to escape it for the last couple. Didn't get too far and so I've been thinking of CTB for a while, which somehow makes things easier... not worrying about yesterday or tomorrow.

Mind you I'm in a better situation than a lot of the folks here: I don't have a disease or chronic pain, and having an OK job means I'm not dependant on others.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Hope for what though? Hope that it MIGHT get better? I'm not a fortune teller though. So- who knows? I guess for me- my situation is more- things COULD get better if I face all the things I'm afraid of, get better at what I do, learn to drive, possibly sell up and start again... again. It's not impossible but it would take a hell of a lot of work. Plus- I'm not convinced it would be worth it in the end. I've already made similar sacrifices in the past and it wasn't worth it then.

For me- hope is simply a tool I use to try and motivate myself to do things I have to do. I have to try and believe in it at the time for it to work. I'm a practical person. I don't think you can just hope and wish for things and expect to get them.

I suppose the crux of it is though- EVEN if life does get better, I still think the bad will outweigh the good. Life has simply become a whole long sequence of things I don't want to do- to varying degrees. I don't really have much hope that that will change.

Still- I think I can comfortably CTB while still admitting that things COULD have gotten better. I simply don't feel the need or desire to find out how an alternative ending happens at the moment. I'm holding on for my Dad to go first though. And I'll need to be making big changes in my life soon in order to better support myself financially. That's going to be really difficult with how little hope and motivation I feel. I'm just going to have to fake it for now though.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

According to my opinion one can't say all hope is lost immediately, because even in the darkest moments there could be a very little bit of hope left which is certainly a natural habit. For myself I knew already years ago after the "project of a life time" failed that there will be no hope left to ever get that chance again in my remaining life time. So that was the the actual point of no return with inevitable ctb. But yeah there were still points up to today that I could have accepted that my life could recover but all of them failed. So the process is still going on although I actually have given up years ago. SI, loved ones and stuff like that. I really can't say how much time it needed. actually I have given up because from my point of view there is no recovery possible that would be acceptable for me but things still keep me here and keep me suffering.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I don't really think there was ever any hope in the first place, I've always seen existence as being something so dreadful, futile and unappealing. To me it's just a terrible punishment having the ability to exist here, I could never want to endure existence anyway, I only wish for nothingness.

 

[sayire]

what happened to your other thread about "if you had N how long would it be before you take it"

will put that back now...

 

[AnxietyHangover]

Well I've been trying since November to improve my condition, I'm treatment resistant as it seems, I'm already on a treatment scheme that I believe would give the average person serotonin syndrome or at least cause them a constant feeling of sickness (not that I feel too great either). Tried therapy, tried socializing, nothing works, as they say I'm too far gone. My depression started two years ago and I've come to terms with the fact that it will eventually kill me. I had to wait to arrange some things before my passing, now that I don't have to wait for anything else it's just a matter of days before I attempt. SI is at an all time low. I know what to think of to lower my SI and increase my hatred of life which is great. My only hope is not to end up a vegetable since my method is partial hanging. I used to have SN but got rid of it two times because false hope always reared its ugly head. Oh well, if I end up a vegetable then maybe that's my fate, you can't piss against the wind and not expect to get wet

 

[Document6105]

I tried for ~10 years because I was a naive little child back then.
But as reality sank in, and my brain matured, I realized that nothing I do will ever change the situation I'm in.

The only reason I'm alive still is because I've been taking care of my pets.
I'm in "treatment", and I do go in with the proper attitude which it requires; it's just too long gone.
Frankly, the other option is being locked up for life against my will.

If only society would allow for euthanazia.
But alas, religion still governs the minds of people.

 

[MrDarkness]

I've been beaten down since late junior high, and it's been a constant battle of ups and downs, even though I graduated high school, I'm still haunted from my pass, I wish I died a lot sooner

 

[crimsonpool]

it took me about four years but i think any time amount is reasonable i feel like something bad enough could happen that can trigger it then and there for some people

 

[afterlyfebob]

Shit ton of crying and self sabotaging