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Bullit

Bullit

Mage
May 6, 2021
504
Just thinking today how I want this to be over. Its a horrible thought. I know you guys have such heavy burdens, you want to ctb,you are brave,you endure so much.
Me frankly,the prolifers are right. I'm just a coward. A chickenshit. I just want this to be done,I look iwith despair at the idea of building a life,etc ad nauseam.
Anyway here's some stuff:
I recalled how gorgeous Gwen Stephanie was when she first hit. I bet that country guy wishes he could've had some of that! So I watched "Don't Speak." Just perfect.
Then some Cardigans "Love Fool." I had a funny idea for a video for this when it first came out,with Rodney Dangerfield peeking in her window as the singer danced in a nightie. He gets a heart attack which is investigated by comedian George Wallace playing a cop.He peeks in the window and also succumbs.lol!
Then some Rutles. "With a Girl Like You", a classic parody of If I Fell. Neil Innes looked just like my father when he got older.
All kinds of images and thoughts ,some kinda funny at least to me, as I go thru " Mr. Tambourine Man",such a beauty but I prefer the Shatner version, and some Nirvana,gotta love Weird Al!!
Then "Despacito" I love this,the melody is entrancing. The guitar. The rapper Daddy Yankee is very good.Frankly the girl isn't that great. I had a lovely YOUNG Mexican girl with a crush on me not that many years ago and I imagined her as the girl in the video. Slowly,indeed.
Anyway thought about life and how it might've been and I fucked it up and i just keep thinking I can't stand this. Can I ctb now? This is what goes on in me 'ed!
Tomorrow doctors appointment, wish me luck,suckers!!
 
Last edited:
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newave3

newave3

I want out
Nov 21, 2020
2,802
Kind of a stream of consciousness post there @Bullitt. Very interesting.
I would wager that everyone on this site thinks that they have screwed up their lives to some extent so you are certaintly not alone.
I hope all goes well at your doctor's appointment. Please take care.
 
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Bullit

Bullit

Mage
May 6, 2021
504
But you agree about Gwen Stephanie?
 
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newave3

newave3

I want out
Nov 21, 2020
2,802
Are u kidding ? She was very beautiful in her early videos with that 1940's style haircut. Great voice too.
 
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