Story How I failed to CTB tonight

[The_Dreamer]

Okay so I had planned to CTB with my handgun sometime in 2022, just to get through the holiday season with loved ones and not drag that shit down on them. BUT something came up and I was going to try and take a 3 AM walk to my planned 'spot' (a lakeside park inside my Florida neighborhood) and just see if I could conquer SI while slightly buzzed and after another lengthy introspective conversation pointing out exactly WHY it IS the most rational and reasonable thing for me to do (long philosophical mumbo jumbo)

And as I was halfway there, no fucking joke, a 350 pound black bear crossed paths with me on the poorly lit street I was walking down. Apparently he was taking his/her 3 AM stroll in the same direction, just 10 yards adjacent to me.
I didn't shit my pants or anything but my genuine reaction was an IMMEDIATE about-face and I silently thought to myself "You are FUCKING shitting me, there is NO way that just fucking happened..."

I just saw that as my sign to go back home and go to sleep, I calmy turned around and went back. Funnily enough my adrenaline wasn't pumping really, I was actually amused by the situation. I don't mean to sound dark but I find humor in my failed 'attempts', among other things, because there are some genuinely funny situations that have kept me here.

I don't believe there is any God or divine intervention or any of that nonsense. But I gotta say it sure feels like it just ain't my time to go yet. Which DOES suck because, these days, 9/10 days are shrouded in suffering and despair but... What can ya do?

Sorry to make light of this, just my way of coping.

Night y'all

 

[TJuk]

Did make me laugh. I do however want to say that maybe it wasn't your time, maybe you weren't 100% and that's ok.
Hope rest of your day goes better

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be frustrating, to plan to ctb and then for that to happen. I wish you the best, and when the time comes to leave, I hope you find peace.

 

[Bedrock48]

That's pretty incredible lol, it's funny how the universe/god/nature/whatever can send what seems to be signs not to ctb and I've found the situations that unfold are rarely ever normal. I hope you had a good sleep, it may do you good to see out the holidays with family. All the best whatever happens

 

[rozzy]

So you escaped CTB by bear
I am trying to get hold of a gun as a CTB option too. All the best buddy.

 

[StevieNixs]

Reminds me of my encounter with a moose in Alaska. Dark December evening, solitary stroll... saw a moose. I knew they were dangerous. I stopped. It stopped. I speedily did a volte-face in the opposite direction.

 

[Mthom2]

Black bears prolifers? Who knew!

 

[Green Destiny]

Honestly if I was on my way to CTB and that happened I might have done the exact same thing of postponing my attempt.

 

[The_Dreamer]

That must be frustrating, to plan to ctb and then for that to happen. I wish you the best, and when the time comes to leave, I hope you find peace.

We all will, one day

Reminds me of my encounter with a moose in Alaska. Dark December evening, solitary stroll... saw a moose. I knew they were dangerous. I stopped. It stopped. I speedily did a volte-face in the opposite direction.

Knowing black bears are easily spooked was reassuring, but a moose? The shear size of those fuckers... That might've left me with some stains in my undies