How does one rid oneself of all desires, wants and attachments?

[sserafim]

I heard that to escape the reincarnation cycle, you should rid yourself of all desires, wants and attachments. How does one exactly accomplish this?

 

[Lostman1029]

Start reading or YouTubing Stoic philosophy. Read "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius. Stoic philosophy is very practical.

My problem is not having wants/desires. The question "what do I value" and "what actually has value" are very deep and personal questions.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I personally think that such a thing is impossible. I believe that all humans will always have desires, wants and attachments to things. I don't have much desires with regards to life but I do desire to be dead as immediately as possible

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I'd say that's a bit of a utopia too. As humans we tend to overestimate our ability to achieve such things. But true enlightenment or a ridding of all earthly desires is going to be out of the question for most people.

It's interesting though - I often wonder if say, Tibetan monks have fully mastered all of this. My feeling is probably not, despite them giving it their all.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Be aware that even negative emotions like resentment, guilt and hate can keep you attached and stuck.

 

[WheelSucker459]

Difficult to say because mine were all taken away from me without any choice

 

[R_N]

If possible to give up all it can only lead to early death for better or worse. Accepting some of it like monks do, seems more realistic to most.
I don't believe in reincarnation but I do find observing our bodies and calming our intrusive thoughts interesting because I like seeing myself as I am.

You can start with small steps but don't underestimate the process. Cravings and habits are very addictive. It is easier to talk about meditation for example than practice it. You will be tempted by everything. I also never went too far into it because of how much my brain craves stimulation. But I also don't have meaningful reasons to do it and it separates me from the rest. Even monasteries are a community of people with similar beliefs. I am not into any religion or belief system I just find some things interesting and practical.

 

[sserafim]

Start reading or YouTubing Stoic philosophy. Read "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius. Stoic philosophy is very practical.

My problem is not having wants/desires. The question "what do I value" and "what actually has value" are very deep and personal questions.

I remember that someone told me the desire to want nothing is still a desire

 

[R_N]

I remember that someone told me the desire to want nothing is still a desire

If there is a thing you no longer desire, there is no want to not desire it anymore.

 

[Forever Sleep]

If there is a thing you no longer desire, there is no want to not desire it anymore.

But, you can desire a state of mind. I remember very briefly trying to learn how to meditate and one of the things was to not be so caught up in trying to meditate. To be trying to reach a certain state- that is a desire I suppose in a way.

I'm not sure how you could do it though. We're programmed to desire things like food when our bodies need it. I think perhaps the better thing would be to accept that most things in life are transitory. That way, you can hopefully still enjoy things. Enjoy friendships, enjoy wealth if you have it but- don't be at all surprised if either or both disappear. I think attachment is the bigger problem in a way.

 

[SexyIncél]

I heard that to escape the reincarnation cycle, you should rid yourself of all desires, wants and attachments. How does one exactly accomplish this?

fwiw, the Vajrayana tradition of buddhism offers "enlightement" within a single lifetime — or your money back even in some years or less. Might be worth reading about the anthropology of buddhism, so you understand what underlies it, backstage. Break it down into concepts, free from the charms of some rando teacher

But back onto topic. I guess there's 2 ways to deal with desires/wants/attachments: abstract & concrete

The abstract is discovering what concepts like "detachment" or "desire" might mean:

Insofar as it is useful to distinguish something called "desire" from needs, urges, or intentions, then, it is because desire
(a) is always rooted in imagination
(b) tends to direct itself towards some kind of social relation, real or imaginary
(c) that social relation generally entails a desire for some kind of recognition and, hence, an imaginative reconstruction of the self; a process fraught with dangers of destroying that social relation, or turning it into some kind of terrible conflict

— David Graeber, "Possibilities: Essays on Hierarchy, Rebellion and Desire"

The concrete is how-to tips on applying these principles to specific situations. Here on sasu, many people search for solutions when their house is on fire. Obviously trickier, but also way more educational — applying principles in the heat of battle

 

[Meteora]

I don't think we will be punished for ending our lives. I was thinking about that for some years, afraid it would be even worse after suicide. But I really don't think we wil be punished. I think it is something society implies by making us feel like suicide is a sin etc. But that s f*ck*d up and not true. It is their incapacity to understand how people like us feel.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

While I don't personally believe in this (I'm no Jedi or Buddhist monk), I heard one way to start letting go of your desires is by training yourself into accepting things you detest about life. Small steps like purposefully ordering something from a restaurant that isn't your first or second choice, choosing to watch content you know you'd be bored by, and walking or driving through paths you wouldn't normally want to take. By intentionally choosing what you wouldn't normally choose, supposedly you make it easier to stop being a slave to your wants and desires. Or maybe instead you'll end up just training yourself to like and want different things so none of that might work either.

 

[sserafim]

Be aware that even negative emotions like resentment, guilt and hate can keep you attached and stuck.

How do you get rid of them?

But, you can desire a state of mind. I remember very briefly trying to learn how to meditate and one of the things was to not be so caught up in trying to meditate. To be trying to reach a certain state- that is a desire I suppose in a way.

I'm not sure how you could do it though. We're programmed to desire things like food when our bodies need it. I think perhaps the better thing would be to accept that most things in life are transitory. That way, you can hopefully still enjoy things. Enjoy friendships, enjoy wealth if you have it but- don't be at all surprised if either or both disappear. I think attachment is the bigger problem in a way.

Isn't having friendships being attached (to people)? How do you become non-attached?

 

[R_N]

Isn't having friendships being attached (to people)? How do you become non-attached?

By being able to let go without major issues. Occasionally I ghost even a person I have known for a while now but they know me better than most so they don't take it personally anymore. They give me some breathing room when I need it.

But you don't really have to go to these extremes unless attachments/detachments hurt you a lot. I was forced to tone down my emotions so I could have some peace of mind, it was unbearable to care so much.

 

[DarkRange55]

Start reading or YouTubing Stoic philosophy. Read "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius. Stoic philosophy is very practical.

My problem is not having wants/desires. The question "what do I value" and "what actually has value" are very deep and personal questions.

Start reading or YouTubing Stoic philosophy. Read "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius. Stoic philosophy is very practical.

My problem is not having wants/desires. The question "what do I value" and "what actually has value" are very deep and personal questions.

For Stoicism = Not necessarily—it better equates to "To be like the rock that the waves keep crashing over. It stands unmoved and the raging of the sea falls still around it." —Marcus Aurelius

 

[DarkRange55]

Look up: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs
Is that desirable?

 

[scottyy]

I wish I could tell you how I got there. I thought it was called apathy.
I remember thinking "what do I want?" And then just being blank and empty minded lmao
I used to practice buddhism and read philosophy though

 

[Ambivalent1]

I heard that to escape the reincarnation cycle, you should rid yourself of all desires, wants and attachments. How does one exactly accomplish this?

By sitting under the bodhi tree and realizing the path to enlightenment is not through starvation or gluttony but through the middle path of moderation. The eightfold path though is pretty vague and seems hardly divine.

 

[Professor K]

Why do you want to get rid of them all? Why do you believe it is an accomplishment?

Most of the things you want to eradicate come from culture.

If you want to come close to accomplish this, I would say you build a cabin in the middle of nowhere, stop seeing and interacting with people and do close to nothing and at this point you should feel free of all the cultural values you were exposed to on a daily basis and, subsequently, you would lose all wants and attachments and would basically stop fearing death or life or anything.

I do not recommend though, the only 100% sure way is death.
You will have desires, wants and attachments as long as you will live.

 

[Homo erectus]

Maybe we don't need to escape reincarnation. We just need to escape this "planet". We on this planet are actually living behind iron curtails. We are told to save energy and reduce carbon emission. But in a parallel world, people fly in private jets to climate change conferences and use millions of processors to mine bitcoins and train AI.

 

[sserafim]

Why do you want to get rid of them all? Why do you believe it is an accomplishment?

Most of the things you want to eradicate come from culture.

If you want to come close to accomplish this, I would say you build a cabin in the middle of nowhere, stop seeing and interacting with people and do close to nothing and at this point you should feel free of all the cultural values you were exposed to on a daily basis and, subsequently, you would lose all wants and attachments and would basically stop fearing death or life or anything.

I do not recommend though, the only 100% sure way is death.
You will have desires, wants and attachments as long as you will live.

Because non-attachment is a way to be freed from the reincarnation cycle in Buddhism (I think)

 

[Professor K]

Because non-attachment is a way to be freed from the reincarnation cycle in Buddhism (I think)

Maybe they explain how to achieve that then.

This discussion reminded me of a video I've watched a few years ago which might interest you even though I think this is not Buddhism :

The whole video is worth watching but the part about attachment comes at 7:55

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

This discussion reminded me of a video I've watched a few years ago which might interest you even though I think this is not Buddhism :

The whole video is worth watching but the part about attachment comes at 7:55

Maybe off topic but wasn't Aang really bad at letting go of his attachments? He folded his entire training just to save Katara from a perceived threat. He also ends up having three kids and spending the latter part of his life being "attached" to the idea of preserving air nomad culture through his youngest child. And that's just what I remember.

 

[Professor K]

Maybe off topic but wasn't Aang really bad at letting go of his attachments? He folded his entire training just to save Katara from a perceived threat. He also ends up having three kids and spending the latter part of his life being "attached" to the idea of preserving air nomad culture through his youngest child. And that's just what I remember.

The reason for that might be that this is a kid's show and if Aang had become a monk or a guru, it would've been to uninteresting for the audience. At the end you can see he struggles to let go of Katara.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

The reason for that might be that this is a kid's show and if Aang had become a monk or a guru, it would've been to uninteresting for the audience. At the end you can see he struggles to let go of Katara.

Eh, that explanation seems like a cop out especially for one of the most mature kid shows of all time.

 

[Professor K]

Eh, that explanation seems like a cop out especially for one of the most mature kid shows of all time.

No idea, I've never watched it

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

No idea, I've never watched it

That's fair. It's a good show, even though it's originally for kids.