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SpaxeZ

Member
Feb 28, 2021
70
So I just made a reddit post on r/suicidewatch two months ago about something I was going through and some people PMed me. Out of those I came to become friends with one and we kept getting closer and closer and vido calling everyday for long hoirs talking about everything. Now that I'm close to commiting I'm kinda concerned about how this is going to affect her. I just tried to open the topic many times and ask about her views on how it would affect her and trying to say I kinda have to but then again she always said that she had lost close people to suicide and that would hurt her. Idk what to do right now. Should I even leave her a letter? Or that would make it worse?
 
MidnightDream

MidnightDream

Warlock
Sep 5, 2022
740
At the end of the day, she met you on a suicide forum.. There's only 2 ways that's gonna go. Obviously it might affect her, it would affect anyone, but it's your journey and your decision to make. Leaving her a letter might be a nice touch, but again, it's entirely your decision. You don't owe anyone anything.
 
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its-about-time

its-about-time

nope
Mar 19, 2022
807
It will affect her. No gettin around it. Probably about 30x worse than your assumedly depressed brain can imagine - when we're depressed we believe people don't really care. Maybe I'm wrong, but I would guess this is the case. Hard truth as it is. :/
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,318
I think that leaving a letter can be a good idea if that's what you wish to do. A letter may give those left behind some understanding, can act as a form of closure and it's also just a way to say farewell.

The reality is that someone dying can hurt others, but after all it's an inevitable part of life, we will all die and lose everything someday and we all have the right to leave this world anyway, it's a completely personal decision when to voluntarily exit that others should have no say in. And it isn't like we will be here anyway to see the effect of our death on others, it's simply not our problem.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,131
A letter sounds like a good idea. I have to agree with @MidnightDream that she met you on a forum discussing suicide- so- it was always going to be a risk. It's sad but friends we meet here we kind of need to be prepared to say goodbye to.

I expect it will sadden her. I still feel sad about soneone here I used to PM. Still- we respect one another's rights and wishes more I think on sites like these. I expect it will be a mixture of relief for you and sadness for them. I think a letter would be a great comfort though.
 
CowsAgainstCapitali

CowsAgainstCapitali

Member
Dec 11, 2022
93
A letter explaining this was an inevitable, premeditated event and that my friend treasured our short relationship, and was aware and concerned about hurting her, would bring a little closure and soften the blow I think.
 
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WaitingAllMyLife

Student
Jul 4, 2022
100
Maybe just send her a note with your concerns. Say you love her dearly and care about her but the pain of being alive is too much. Express your concerns that she maybe forgot how/where you met. Tell her how much you value your friendship and how much it has meant to you to have someone you could share these feelings with WITHOUT being judged and without the burden of them begging you not to as those who have never felt suicidal would do. Let her know you worry that you have become so close that she will be hurt if/when you do CTB and you want to give her an out if she can't bear to stay in your inner circle. You will understand if she pulls back as you know you'd be devastated if you lost her. All this to remind her of your reality and also to let her know that if it wasn't for her, the last part of your life would have been without love and support and that has meant everything to you.
 
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