How do you stop having hope for the future

[innominesatanas44]

It's irrational and stands in the way of being at peace

 

[orca87]

To me, there is no point in giving up hope intentionally.
If there is hope, you can utilize it to recover as long as you life intentionally.

For me, I lost hope — that is the most painful thing ever happened to me. I didn't choose it. It's just gone. You will know when you've "failed enough"

 

[LocalAngel]

Trauma. Being hurt. Loss.
It isn't something you choose, although, you can intentionally make things worse for yourself to let go.

That requires self-hatred though. Quite a lot of it. I wouldn't recommend any of the above, but i do understand.

 

[innominesatanas44]

To me, there is no point in giving up hope intentionally.
If there is hope, you can utilize it to recover as long as you life intentionally.

For me, I lost hope — that is the most painful thing ever happened to me. I didn't choose it. It's just gone. You will know when you've "failed enough"

Its more so there are so many things I havent done because I had no life earlier (didnt talk to anyone, had no friends all of secondary and highschool, didnt go to school most of the time). Part of me stupidly thinks I can still achieve those things I lost aka forms of human connection and life experiences but I know thats impossible for someone like me. So its more of delusion than hope I guess.

 

[orca87]

How old are you and what do you mean by "someone like me"? What do you hate about yourself?

 

[cowie]

How old are you? My last hopes fled the scene at 26

 

[orca87]

That's 10 years earlier than me.
My life got a positive turnaround at 29. If I only could have seen that. I didn't, so I lost everything

 

[innominesatanas44]

How old are you and what do you mean by "someone like me"? What do you hate about yourself?

19 in a month. By someone like me I mean that I wont try to improve any part of my life and nothing could make me. I have been alone for the majority of my life so anything otherwise feels wrong. There is obviously a human need to make social connections but its impossible to make me do this. Anyone showing me any kind of affection makes me unreasonably angry because its wrong and not how its supposed to be. So I don't try. But at the same time theres an instinctual need for socialization and that is the "hope"

 

[orca87]

19 in a month. By someone like me I mean that I wont try to improve any part of my life and nothing could make me. I have been alone for the majority of my life so anything otherwise feels wrong. There is obviously a human need to make social connections but its impossible to make me do this. Anyone showing me any kind of affection makes me unreasonably angry because its wrong and not how its supposed to be. So I don't try. But at the same time theres an instinctual need for socialization

Same for me here. I was 26 when I had meaningful social interactions for the first time in my life.

If you struggle, you struggle. And my story is not one with a Happy End. I lost everything. And to be honest, now I'm worse than ever. Having an unfulfilled desire of "belonging" is bad. But having experienced it and lost it, to me, is worse.

Here is a practical answer: why not use your hope and try to improve your life? In the best case, you'll succeed and be happy. If you don't, that's probably the fastest way to lose hope.

 

[innominesatanas44]

Same for me here. I was 26 when I had meaningful social interactions for the first time in my life.

If you struggle, you struggle. And my story is not one with a Happy End. I lost everything. And to be honest, now I'm worse than ever. Having an unfulfilled desire of "belonging" is bad. But having experienced it and lost it, to me, is worse.

Here is a practical answer: why not use your hope and try to improve your life? In the best case, you'll succeed and be happy. If you don't, that's probably the fastest way to lose hope.

Yea i get what you mean. As for improving my life I don't know if it's possible for me to even try. No part of me wants to exist for myself and I've basically lost the ability to see potential friends/lovers as anything but objects

 

[Noise]

It's irrational

I think this right here demonstrates that you're on the right track. To be quite frank, I don't think it's possible to entirely eliminate the notion of hope. Because I think that "hope" exists in a realm of potentiality, in which there'll always be potential regardless of how you examine the probability of favorable outcomes in your situation. It's not necessarily about abandoning hope, but having indifference towards it or recognizing that the bad outweighs the good makes all the difference in my opinion

 

[innominesatanas44]

I think this right here demonstrates that you're on the right track. To be quite frank, I don't think it's possible to entirely eliminate the notion of hope. Because I think that "hope" exists in a realm of potentiality, in which there'll always be potential regardless of how you examine the probability of favorable outcomes in your situation. It's not necessarily about abandoning hope, but having indifference towards it or recognizing that the bad outweighs the good makes all the difference in my opinion

That makes sense, thank you

 

[orca87]

Yea i get what you mean. As for improving my life I don't know if it's possible for me to even try. No part of me wants to exist for myself and I've basically lost the ability to see potential friends/lovers as anything but objects

I can do much relate to that. If I Imagine feeling like this at 19 — I don't know what would have happened.

Not sure what could help you.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'd say- the longer you live, the more hope you lose. Life just keeps slapping you in the face. In my experience- the very worst hits have come after I built up my hopes. It gets to a point where you don't trust hope because you know what's coming next...

 

[leavingsoon99]

Life kinda did it for me. I didn't have to put much effort into losing hope. Life does that. It tends to beat you up at the very times you're actually approaching 'feeling well'. I guess that's just its nature.

It gets to a point where you don't trust hope because you know what's coming next...

This.

 

[Hitakiri]

Its more so there are so many things I havent done because I had no life earlier (didnt talk to anyone, had no friends all of secondary and highschool, didnt go to school most of the time). Part of me stupidly thinks I can still achieve those things I lost aka forms of human connection and life experiences but I know thats impossible for someone like me. So its more of delusion than hope I guess.

It's not a delusion. I grew up selectively mute. No friends, nothing, all through middle and high school. That's the good thing about being online. You can reach out, make real connections. Life feels hopeless and pointless at times, we all get it. It's why we're on this site. But when you have hope, then you can still try.

Maybe try playing an MMO, join a guil, meet a group of people you play with, gain friends. Or chat sites. Reach out. I reached out yesterday, made a connection. It's going good so far.

I know all too well, as someone who's been exactly where you are. There's plenty out there for you, all you've gotta do is reach for it. It's not "wrong" - you're just used to a certain lifestyle, grew accustomed to it, and don't know any other way to be. You're not going to be able to change that overnight. That doesn't mean you it won't change, if you consistently at least make a little effort. This post, reaching out to people on this forum, it's a start.

 

[Amakishiyo]

I feel like hope is something quite human and you can have it even if don't have any reasonable hope left, emotional hope may persist. Most people on this site would rather have a happy life with all their problems solved than to actually die after all.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's true that hope is a delusion which exists to just prolong torment and lead to more suffering. But I don't understand how anyone could believe in this delusion when we exist in this cruel, unpredictable world with unlimited potential for us to be tortured. As humans we are destined to suffer, decay and then die, life in itself is completely hopeless. For me the only hope lies in the peace that permanent nonexistence brings.

 

[pulsar]

It's true that hope is a delusion which exists to just prolong torment and lead to more suffering. But I don't understand how anyone could believe in this delusion when we exist in this cruel, unpredictable world with unlimited potential for us to be tortured. As humans we are destined to suffer, decay and then die, life in itself is completely hopeless. For me the only hope lies in the peace that permanent nonexistence brings.

I like your sunny outlook

 

[Ghostofthepast]

After my child was killed

 

[pulsar]

After my child was killed

Yeah that would do it. I would say sorry for your loss, but I got sick of hearing that over and over after I lost someone close to me who should still be alive too.

 

[WearyHSP]

I've got a weird share on hope...

I've woken every day for the last 5 years wishing I was dead and it's the last thing I think when I go to bed each night.
SO, Convinced it was getting close to my time to ctb (I keep making up excuses) I decided to do a medicine journey on it. To be clear, The few medicine journeys I've done have been 100% to heal from trauma - not for partying or avoidance.

So I took ecstasy and psilocybin with the intention of it being a run-through for when I take sn. Like a practice run for death. The FIRST thing that came into my awareness was that I should live - to not give up hope, that there's a reason to last at least one more year!

Wow, what a surprise. I don't have any sense of hope at all. Looking back, I wish I'd ended my life a solid 20 years ago. It's mostly been torture with a few light moments strewn in on rare occasions. That's a really long time to exist with a quality of life that's not worth living.

So, what do I do with the hope that came through in my journey? It makes me angry. It complicates my ability to decide on an expiration date. To be clear, I don't FEEL hope, ever. So what is my subconscious telling me?

ALSO, it's true, ecstasy for normal people gives feelings lof love and expansion but for me, because of the horrendous childhood trauma it instead works oppositely. It feels like my heart is being crushed because ecstasy helps a person recall bad memories. Just sharing in case someone makes the assumption the hope I felt was just a typical trip. Not so for me - mine are always traumatic.

I'm kind of wishing I was fully devoid of hope so I can just get it over with. It sounds like a lot of you in this string are young and I'd advocate hanging onto hope if you've still got some.

 

[jdog2498]

nice to not have hope. i'd kill for a moment where i didn't have to wait to be happy

 

[Ghostofthepast]

Yeah that would do it. I would say sorry for your loss, but I got sick of hearing that over and over after I lost someone close to me who should still be alive too.

If it was a natural death I would of understood but for a mother to willingly kill a baby and make the father think she was going to keep it by letting him talk to it lay on her stomach ect I will never recover from that loss and no one seems yo understand that

 

[Challu]

You know what hope is?

family, job, money, possessions, hobbies.
This is what comprises "hope"

Take away the chance to obtain just ONE these and suddenly people feel "hopeless".

It makes no sense to hope for things that will die or rot, or will lose meaning. Hope for things that will last.

Hope for eternal peace.
Hope for a good God.
Hope for nothingness hereafter.

Why be suicidal if your hope isn't in being removed from this world?

If you can find hope in a trivial, bullshit life like this, go and search for it.

 

[pulsar]

You know what hope is?

family, job, money, possessions, hobbies.
This is what comprises "hope"

Take away the chance to obtain just ONE these and suddenly people feel "hopeless".

It makes no sense to hope for things that will die or rot, or will lose meaning. Hope for things that will last.

Hope for eternal peace.
Hope for a good God.
Hope for nothingness hereafter.

Why be suicidal if your hope isn't in being removed from this world?

If you can find hope in a trivial, bullshit life like this, go and search for it.

Like people choose to be suicidal. I wish choice was involved. If you want to be removed from this world, why are you still here?

 

[Challu]

Like people choose to be suicidal. I wish choice was involved. If you want to be removed from this world, why are you still here?

Waiting on my antiemetic so that my attempt with SN can succeed. There is no hope to be found here.

 

[katara]

im actually really happy to find this thread because i struggle with this too and it makes me feel insane. I have no friends, never dated, will never be able to get married or have a good life. Rationally i should not be here! it's just not right and doesnt make sense, I'm tired of telling myself lies that it will get better when I KNOW that it wont. I started feeling suicidal at 11, its never going to get better, why does my brain have to lie to me im so angry at myself i hate myself

 

[outrider567]

Pretty easy to lose any and all hope when your life partner dies--From 35 years of companionship and sharing everything.... to nothing