How do you stay alive for yet another day?

[enuff]

Some days I wake up (unfortunately) and wonder if this is the day I will put on my exit bag and leave this world. One thing that keeps me going is I want to see the world's biggest asshole lose the election, but I think it will not be over even then. So I'll have to wait until Jan 20 to see who gets inagurated, if that's even a thing by then. But the drama between now and Jan 20 will be way better than any prime-time TV. Maybe the big orange turd will start a war with his estranged N. Korean boyfriend. Or maybe he'll bomb the shit out of England because Douche Bank won't give him a loan to buy Buckingham Palace. Don't underestimate his stupidity.

So that keeps me going, but I really couldn't care less if I died today. I'm already dead on the inside. Kind of like nuking a frozen dinner, cold on the inside, hot on the outside. But my real question is how do I find the strength to make it to midnight, and X off another day on my calendar?

So how to you find the strength to make it through yet another day? I'd really like some ideas.

 

[DyingAlf]

I just exist minute by minute (hour by hour on slightly better days) & distract myself with short stints of music, movies, tv, jigsaw puzzles, books & games. With a little bit of necessary chores, food etc dispersed in between.

 

[enuff]

I just exist minute by minute (hour by hour on slightly better days) & distract myself with short stints of music, movies, tv, jigsaw puzzles, books & games. With a little bit of necessary chores, food etc dispersed in between.

Those are some good ideas, but day after day, doesn't that get boring and mind-numbingly monotonous?

 

[Isadeth]

I read an unhealthy amount. I also basically knock myself unconscious with my medications if I'm not busy. That helps. Sleeping is like being dead without the commitment lol so it'll have to do for now.

 

[enuff]

...Sleeping is like being dead without the commitment lol so it'll have to do for now.

haha I love it

 

[Superdeterminist]

I don't find any strength. I'm simply too afraid to attempt ctb, the potential pain terrifies me. I'm also terrified of the potential to return after death as another conscious organism that suffers even more than I have in this life.

 

[Dragonfire]

I sleep alot like 16 hours a day

 

[Metalhead]

I read an unhealthy amount. I also basically knock myself unconscious with my medications if I'm not busy. That helps. Sleeping is like being dead without the commitment lol so it'll have to do for now.

What medication are you on if I may ask ?

 

[Ghost2211]

I keep myself busy and distracted mostly. Hot showers help, so do snacks. Gaming is a good escape. If I'm having too bad a day I get stoned.

 

[Meditation guide]

I just exist minute by minute (hour by hour on slightly better days) & distract myself with short stints of music, movies, tv, jigsaw puzzles, books & games. With a little bit of necessary chores, food etc dispersed in between.

You and me both. It's subsistence living. No real reason to keep going.

 

[Squiddy]

Video games, food, anime, manga, mindlessly surf the web and sometimes weed when I have it

 

[TheSomebody]

I waste my time on the internet discussing irrelevant subjects and playing games. My life lately comes down to these two things.

 

[Adamsnolife]

Very hard. Mainly bed, sleep (when I can) internet and games on the console.

Boring life really.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i just do what brings me any joy, no matter how little. be it netflix, jerking off, sleeping... it's not the best way to live, but chasing that "high" is how i spend most of my days.

 

[NeverGoodEnuff]

Something new that I am trying...

I find that doing something, anything, can push negative thoughts and feelings back a bit. I have always been a list maker but I have changed how I make the list. What used to be "Clean house" is just too overwhelming. Now it is "clean bathroom mirror". My furry friend needs his toenails trimmed and it is such a battle, he hates it, so it gets put off for way too long. So now, I am trying to do one toenail a day. I can do that. Instead of a war, it is just a short skirmish. I have to psych myself up but not nearly so much. So far so good. It is a little thing but that moment of respite is welcome. One small thing a day. Just one. I think I can do that.

I am not saying anybody else "should" do the same. But this has, so far, given me some relief.

At least it is SOMEthing.

 

[enuff]

What medication are you on if I may ask ?

yeah I'd like some too

 

[LonelyNick]

I have a friend coming over to visit. I agreed months ago and now I regret it. I have to stay alive longer because of it.

 

[enuff]

I have a friend coming over to visit. I agreed months ago and now I regret it. I have to stay alive longer because of it.

not to be nit-picky @LonelyNick, but the title under your avatar says "Non, je ne regrette rien"
just this one thing though?
oh, btw, you have a friend? how fortunate for you. cherish that.

 

[LonelyNick]

not to be nit-picky @LonelyNick, but the title under your avatar says "Non, je ne regrette rien"
just this one thing though?
oh, btw, you have a friend? how fortunate for you. cherish that.

You're an asshole

 

[MariV]

my mother.no other reason. she used to want to ctb due to her chronic pain but it seems she has changed her mind. i wonder where's the magic in doing boring chores in pain all day long

 

[enuff]

You're an asshole

yeah that's part of my charm.
it's also part of my aspergers.

it also doesn't take away from that you have a friend, who's coming over to visit you. don't be pissed off, cherish that.

 

[DyingAlf]

Those are some good ideas, but day after day, doesn't that get boring and mind-numbingly monotonous?

Absolutely boring & mind-numbingly monotonous!

I forgot to say....I also spend quite a bit of time here which helps a little.

I envy those who can escape through sleep (but I'm pleased for them that they have that escape). I'm scared of sleeping, my nightmares & weird dreams are horrendous.

 

[enuff]

Absolutely boring & mind-numbingly monotonous!

I forgot to say....I also spend quite a bit of time here which helps a little.

I envy those who can escape through sleep. I'm scared of sleeping, my nightmares & weird dreams are horrendous.

yeah, the time I spend on here helps me too. this is the first time in my life I been able to express myself without avoiding how I really feel. can't do that irl.

sorry you don't sleep well. I sleep but only for ~ 4 hours, then I got to go pee. then I can't get back to sleep, so I smoke some weed and that doesn't always help - i start playing fantasy suicide movies in my mind. but that's not sleep, that's weed.

 

[death137]

Mostly through music, sleep, this site and reddit (my country subreddits)

 

[enuff]

my mother.no other reason. she used to want to ctb due to her chronic pain but it seems she has changed her mind. i wonder where's the magic in doing boring chores in pain all day long

maybe she's doing it for you?

 

[Isadeth]

What medication are you on if I may ask ?

Depends on what I have. Whether it's benadryl, nyquil, hydroxyzine, Ativan, fioricet, thorazine, amitriptyline etc. Mostly fioricet, hydroxyzine, and Ativan at the moment. But when I'm out, I take a lot of benadryl.

 

[Metalhead]

Thanks for the reply

 

[Rn110bg101]

Mostly videogames, music and meaningless chats on a Discord server. I'm holding on by a thread… but I can't let go for now.
I promised myself I would live to see my favourite game's sequel in 2021. I don't know if I actually could wait that long, but I want to try.

That or I'm waiting for the day I'll be ready to go through with it. Depends on which comes first.

 

[muffin222]

I just focus on making it through the day at hand, moment by moment. I try my hardest not to think about anything in the future and focus only upon what is right in front of me in the moment

 

[voidman]

Honestly? Sleeping, eating, youtube, and good ol' SS.