
xLosthopex
Tell my dogs I love them
- May 29, 2020
- 1,133
So I'm 100% sure about my decision to ctb, I have my chosen method all planned and ready to go, I was going to ctb this week but each time my date comes I'm just like "ok maybe just one more day"- But like every day is misery, it's not like I'm actually enjoying anything, so why do I keep procrastinating and putting it off? If I don't ctb soon my anorexia will kill me anyway at the rate it's at right now, and I'd much rather die from my chosen method than a heart attack from my eating disorder. The main thing I will miss when I go is my dogs, I think each day I just keep thinking "I want just one last day to spend with them" -but I keep saying this every day and not end up doing it! Maybe because I have everything ready to go with my method I just feel more secure and that I can just go when I want anyway, but I don't really want to keep putting it off either because life is a living hell, so why won't I just do it?? Maybe it's also to do with SI idk or the fear of failing
Anyone else in the same position?
Anyone else in the same position?