Discussion How do you make someone hate you?

[LeWantsToDie]

Exactly what it says. I'm hopefully going to CTB using the night-night method soon and I'm making preparations. But I'm extremely worried about how some people are going to cope with it, especially this one person who (hopefully) cares about me. To combat this, I have decided to piss him off as much as possible so that he's not torn up about my death - I don't mean just piss off - I want him to hate me. Like actually truly hate me. I hate having to do this (like so much that I won't be able to back down from ctb-ing after this) because he's one of the only people whose opinion of me I care about but I know I'm doing this for his best. My life was fucked up because of depression and other stuff, I don't want his to be. So- how do I be the biggest a-hole to ever exist?

 

[Dizzylady80]

You'd have to do something obscene and very hurtful to get someone who truly cares about to hate you, and even then they could see through what you were doing after you die and be even more upset. I wouldn't recommend it at all. I am also worried about how my friends will react to my death, I have friends very close to me and with one friend in particular I'm worried that they might actually attempt suicide after I die. But that's something I just have to accept. I know that some people isolate as a form of pushing people away, but that takes time and I don't know how effective that is. I'm sorry you're struggling with this I understand how hard it is to hurt the people you care about in this way

 

[ThisUnrest]

Sorry, but I agree with dizzylady. There's no point in adding pain on top of pain. They will still be hurt by your loss. If you do something really mean before leaving, they will likely think "you were out of your mind" when you behaved badly towards them. Sorry that youre in such a troubling situation.

 

[LeWantsToDie]

You'd have to do something obscene and very hurtful to get someone who truly cares about to hate you, and even then they could see through what you were doing after you die and be even more upset. I wouldn't recommend it at all. I am also worried about how my friends will react to my death, I have friends very close to me and with one friend in particular I'm worried that they might actually attempt suicide after I die. But that's something I just have to accept. I know that some people isolate as a form of pushing people away, but that takes time and I don't know how effective that is. I'm sorry you're struggling with this I understand how hard it is to hurt the people you care about in this way

Would it be the same if they don't find out that if it's a suicide? My parents would probably be the ones to find my body, they're very conservative so they probably won't tell anyone it was a suicide. I tried the isolation thing but I gave up - I'm too selfish in that way - I wanted to have them for as long as I could. It's definitely a messed up existence -

 

[Dizzylady80]

Would it be the same if they don't find out that if it's a suicide? My parents would probably be the ones to find my body, they're very conservative so they probably won't tell anyone it was a suicide. I tried the isolation thing but I gave up - I'm too selfish in that way - I wanted to have them for as long as I could. It's definitely a messed up existence -

I think that if you do something horrible like that right before you die you'd make it more obvious that it was a suicide. Either way you're gonna really hurt them if you chose this method of pushing them away, I still definitely wouldn't recommend it. For example: I had a close friend who robbed my parents and little brother right before he ODed and died in what was very likely a suicide. It hurt even more because of how I reacted to the robbing, because I called him and said some horrible things. This was 5 years ago and I still blame myself for his death. I also refused to let myself mourn at first out of anger, extending the grieving process by a lot. Trust me, it'll only make things worse. I understand the desperate want to dampen the blow in any way you can but it's just not gonna happen you're not a bad person for not being able to push them away, shit is hard, I couldn't do it either, and pushing people away only hurts them. You sound like you care about this person very much human connection is a beautiful thing, don't taint it by hurting them like that.

 

[LeWantsToDie]

I think that if you do something horrible like that right before you die you'd make it more obvious that it was a suicide. Either way you're gonna really hurt them if you chose this method of pushing them away, I still definitely wouldn't recommend it. For example: I had a close friend who robbed my parents and little brother right before he ODed and died in what was very likely a suicide. It hurt even more because of how I reacted to the robbing, because I called him and said some horrible things. This was 5 years ago and I still blame myself for his death. I also refused to let myself mourn at first out of anger, extending the grieving process by a lot. Trust me, it'll only make things worse. I understand the desperate want to dampen the blow in any way you can but it's just not gonna happen you're not a bad person for not being able to push them away, shit is hard, I couldn't do it either, and pushing people away only hurts them. You sound like you care about this person very much human connection is a beautiful thing, don't taint it by hurting them like that.

Thank you, yeah - I think I'll just try and enjoy the time I have left with him and the few people who care about me. He has a really good support system and to be entirely honest - I'm not as big a part of his life as he is mine so I think he'll manage. He cares about me a lot but I think he'll eventually get over it. At least that's what I hope. I'm sorry that happened to you and for what it's worth, as another person who was going to push people away, I think he was going to kill himself no matter how you had responded. It probably was just a matter of time