Venting How do you hage a will to live?

[VampQueen]

What keep you going? What's the point of going on?

I'm not really sure I have a will to live, I'm just existing. I'm just floating with no direction. Ive applied to places and went to an interview but everytime I do something work related I get anxiety because I hate working and I'm not sure what I really want in my life.

I watch videos of people commiting suicide and I get jealous because I can't live but I also don't want to die. Im stuck in the purgatory.

Sometimes I have good days but I reject them because I know its just false hope. False hope that things will get better and that life is worth living.

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

The only thing that has kept me alive are false expectations. That false hope that your life is going to get better but it never does. I always fantasize about my life being better but it's impossible because I live in the third world.

My family tries to motivate me but I feel like I'm living in an illusion because at the end of the day nothing satisfies me.
Having a job and money doesn't make me feel good if every day is the same thing (wake up, work, suffer, eat, sleep, blah, blah, blah...)

Right now I'm rotting away in my bed, hoping to find another stupid job to keep eating and buying useless things, but surely in the end I'll still be dead inside because there's nothing that can revive me.

I'm not capable of connecting with people in real life...

Medications make me apathetic...

I don't see the point of buying a new video game console if I'm never going to have time to play...

Everything becomes boring to me and I never have the energy to do what I like...

 

[blueskewtrue]

I don't really. Only things that keep me going is fear and periodic mania which makes me feel 'okay'

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't see any point to any of this in my case, existence truly is so unnecessary, dreadful and undesirable to me. I never would have chosen any of this, I really wish I never existed at all.

 

[iloverachel]

I don't have a will to live sadly.

But i hope you find yours, if that is what you truly want

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's mostly obligation for me. I don't want to upset my Dad with my suicide. I don't want an enormous guilt trip if I stop working and need to rely on him financially. So, I tread water as best I can for now with my eyes on the prize of suicide.

As to how to regain the will to live, I'm not convinced you can if you don't want to. Are there any things in life you still enjoy?

 

[mainlanders_son]

I don't anymore. My passion for life fueled me, and anhedonia has ripped all passion away.