How do you get people to take you seriously?

[sadandhopeless1]

I've spent my whole life repressing how I feel. As a kid people always resented me for being needy and I learned quick that the less support I asked for the less people would find me annoying. That didn't really set me up to be a very emotionally healthy person though. I'm a full grown adult and I feel completely incapable of sharing my emotions without feeling ashamed of how idiotic they must think I am. I mustered up the courage to go see a doctor to get on meds. Its obvious he doesn't take me seriously. We talk more about how I'm going to go have a bunch of unsafe promiscuous sex in the future because I'm gay than we talk about my mental health (I haven't had sex in 7 years, idk why he's so convinced that will happen) . He reminds me multiple times every appointment that everyone has anxiety. He laughed at me when I brought up that I excessively sweat which particularly hurt because that has caused me so much humiliation since I was a teenager. Its like he refuses to take me seriously and its so upsetting.

I've also been seeing a therapist. He's a nice guy but I run into the same problem. I started going to him because someone suggested to me that I might be autistic and he works with autistic people. After a few weeks I asked him if he thought I was autistic and he said he thought it was very likely. I regret it, but I used that to find a little bit of personal forgiveness, at least my struggles had a reason and its not just that I'm pathetic. A few days ago he casually comments about how we talked about me not being on the spectrum, which is the opposite of what he really said. It kind of hurt. I feel like I'm back to square one with my self esteem. I really am just a weak person. I figured now that I don't care that much about what he thinks of me, why not just say the crazy things on my mind. I'm worried I have a personality disorder or something similar. I lie, I steal, I hurt myself, I constantly feel ashamed, I spend all my time high because I can't cope without, getting skinnier and skinnier is the only thing that makes me happy anymore, etc. I'm not saying I 100% have a personality disorder, but I also don't think it is this wildly impossible thing. He wouldn't engage me on that topic and just changed the subject, only commenting that he thinks my struggles are real. I wasn't asking for a diagnosis, but like couldn't he have at least indulged me a little bit and hear me out? Now I feel like he thinks I'm a complete fucking idiot for even thinking about that. I feel like he must think I'm so naïve and weak that I think my tiny little problems could even compare to that. It makes me feel deeply embarrassed looking back, and I wish I hadn't brought it up.

All I want in life is for someone to take me seriously. I want to explain my struggles and have someone be like damn, I'm sorry, that really sucks. I want to see a psychologist or whoever the hell you see when your mind is screwy. I hoped my therapist would refer me after bringing that up but now I don't think he will. My doctor takes me even less seriously, I truly feel like he'd laugh in my face if I asked. I don't know what to do, I feel so hopeless. I want to get better but I just get belittled every time I open up. I truly can't tell if I'm being pathetic and I deserve to be made fun of or if people are being unfair.

 

[Rd2nowhere]

You need to see a psychiatrist. Your internist is not someone who would be up to date on mental health medication and issues.

You are paying a therapist to listen. If you feel as if he/she is not helping or taking you seriously change therapist.

Botox injections help with excessive sweat. Talk to your aesthetician or plastic surgeon.

 

[Angi]

The above post already has an excellent point: Maybe you are talking to the wrong person for your given problem.

I would like to add two points which contribute to this set of issues, for me, see if some of this works for you as well. First, looks. I get taken much more seriously by people who have never seen me. Even better if they have not heard my voice, but as long as they have not seen me it is quite ok. So I try to communicate in writing, and if this is not an option, such as for seeing a doctor, I have tested ways of styling that make people a little more likely to take me seriously. No makeup and freshly washed and tied back hair seem to be essential, some specific clothes help. Second, sometimes I find out that people take me more seriously than I perceive them to. Apparently some of this is in my head.

All I want in life is for someone to take me seriously. I want to explain my struggles and have someone be like damn, I'm sorry, that really sucks. [...] I want to get better but I just get belittled every time I open up. I truly can't tell if I'm being pathetic and I deserve to be made fun of or if people are being unfair.

Ditch that therapist. If he cannot give you what you are asking for in the above post he is not up for the job, or at least not up for working with you. Maybe you have someone CBT-focused and should look for a different modality. Your second sentence (in the above quote) points to the very basics of client-centered therapy, maybe find someone who uses this framework. Generally, if a doctor or therapist (or really any other professional) belittles you, I in your shoes would never see them again.

 

[chloramine]

I agree with the above points. Your doctor sounds awful and it doesn't seem like that therapist is a good fit for you. If medical professionals aren't taking you seriously that is a reflection of them not you. The doctor fixating on your sexuality like that is extremely unprofessional and not okay. I know that doesn't necessarily help with how it feels to be dismissed, but it is not your responsibility to make people take you seriously- especially in a medical capacity. If it's possible for you to find a different doctor and therapist please, please do.

 

[Dead Ghost]

They don't take me seriously in general (not even in my house) but... if I grow a beard it gets much better (well, before, now I don't go out of the house).
As for therapists, they use two techniques: either they trivialize all your problems so you are not afraid to face them, or they treat you like a child and tell you everything you have to do... both of these things piss me off.

As for the diagnosis, I really only cared about it at the beginning, now I don't care and I only want it for the disability certificate, since there is still a great lack of knowledge in society about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Asperger's (ASD), Generalized Anxiety Disorder, vertigo, ADHD .... the truth is that so many labels don't help. ... the truth is that so many labels are of no use to me because they only ask me to assume it and that's it... and another truth is that I always end up doing what I want to do outside the world and although I am increasingly sad and sunk it is also true that I feel freer.

//

A mi tampoc em prenen pas seriosament en general (ni a casa meva) peró.. si em deixo la barba la cosa millora molt (bé, abans, ara no surto de casa).
En quant als terapeutes usen dues técniques: o trivialitzar tots els teus problemes perquè no et faci por enfrontar-los o tractar-te com un nen i dir-te tot el que has de fer... a mi les dues coses m'emprenyen.

En quant al diagnóstic, de debó que en el meu cas només m'importava al principi, ara més ben igual i només el vull pel certificat de discapacitat, ja que hi ha un encara un gran desconeixement en la societat sobre el Trastorn Obssessiu Compulssiu, l'Asperger (TEA), el Trastorn d'Ansietat Generalitzada, el vertígen, el TDAH... la veritat que tantes etiquetes no em serveixen de res perquè només em demanen que ho assumeixi i punt... i una altre veritat es que sempre acabo fotent el que em don la gana al marge de tothom i tot i que cada vegada estic més trist i enfonsat tambés es cert que em sento més lliure.