How do you get over the fear of nothingness?

[offtoseethewizard]

I see so many brave atheists posting goodbye threads here. But I can't help but wonder if they really are atheists. Because if you are, doesn't the idea of non-existence scare you senseless?

I can't help thinking that most have some sort of hope of something that allows them to go over that line.

I wish I could. I just can't find any evidence of anything and it doesn't make sense to me at all that there would be anything.

My body is so sick. I'm so over it. But I just can't square off against the fact that I'll never 'be' again. It's mortifying.

I just want to know how one gets to the point of having no fear or even looking forward to never experiencing anything, ever again. I have to get there. My existence is just so pointless.

ugh I don't know what I'm even asking. Hope this makes sense

 

[Deleted member 65988]

doesn't the idea of non-existence scare you senseless?

No, why should it after I'm dead and gone? They'll be nothing left of me to experience non-existence, it's not even a state, it's just nothing as it were for billions of years before I was alive. It never concerned me then and the only concern there is that the state of sentience will be lost forever if it bothers you that much.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's definitely a weird idea certainly because knowing we exist and most likely will tomorrow is what we've grown used to. But, you're not self aware when you go to sleep or, go under anaesthetic. They are kind of practice runs in a way. It's just that but not waking up to realise you've been out of it for a while I imagine. Plus, like a lot of people tend to point out- not existing before we were born wasn't so bad.

I guess deciding solidly that you want to suicide is realising that waking up is the problem! Because of all it brings with it. So- maybe it's more a question of asking yourself- what is it about awareness that you're afraid to lose?

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Non existence doesn't scare me. Actually, it's the biggest form of peace that I know I can achieve. I don't understand those who are scared of non existence. To me, it's peaceful never having to experience or feel or think anything ever again. Being a human has brought me nothing but perpetual misery.

What's scary about permanent non existence? I truly don't understand those who are scared of it

 

[vak]

How much do you remember from the 13 billion years of non-existence before you were born? I think the time will pass the same until the heat death of the universe, it's only when you are alive when existence seem to matter.

Watch this, we are so insignificant:

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Non existence doesn't scare me. Actually, it's the biggest form of peace that I know I can achieve. I don't understand those who are scared of non existence. To me, it's peaceful never having to experience or feel or think anything ever again. Being a human has brought me nothing but perpetual misery.

What's scary about permanent non existence? I truly don't understand those who are scared of it

Yeah, I don't understand it either, we're all not gonna be here someday and not long after, it'll he as if we never existed, the only people that care about the fact that we ever existed are those who we care about but outside of that, no one will really give a shit i was ever here. It's inevitable so I find it something to take heed in, I won't be subject to human nature anymore

But, you're not self aware when you go to sleep or, go under anaesthetic. They are kind of practice runs in a way.

Or those who've had sudden cardiac arrest, it's so sudden that they don't even have time to react, it just happens and they're out just like that then it's a race against time to bring them back or they'll be gone for good.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

things being bad enough for oblivion to be ur only logical option def helpsthe nothingness is what i want now, just the ceasing of everything. it can still be anxiety inducing when i think abt it too long, but only bc nothingness is impossible for us to imagine. even trying to imagine it means we're already wrong, bc u can't imagine nonexistence. blackness isn't accurate either, bc that's still smthg. we might get sneak peeks of sorts w sleep or anesthesia, but that's not the permanent nothingness of death. i almost feel like death laughs @ those measly comparisons, but im prob putting too much thought into it now, lmao.

no1 can tell u how to stop fearing it, really. that's something u can only do for yourself, on ur ownmaybe watch vids of ppl dying to get used to it in a way?? like exposure therapy.

 

[offtoseethewizard]

No, why should it after I'm dead and gone? They'll be nothing left of me to experience non-existence, it's not even a state, it's just nothing as it were for billions of years before I was alive. It never concerned me then and the only concern there is that the state of sentience will be lost forever if it bothers you that much.

I know the argument and I understand the logic, but it just doesn't seem to soothe me at all

Call me irrational

 

[thinvy]

I mean, 90% of the time when I sleep, I just blip into nothingness for a few hours. not terribly scary to me when I think about it that way. I don't dream very often (genuinely, I have a sleep disorder), so it is quite literally a few hours of being in a dark void where I feel, hear, see, and do nothing. I blink into darkness most nights. For me, it's like games where you can sit down somewhere and just... skip time.

I mean, it's definitely sad to me that one day, at some point, all humans will be dead, along with everything we've ever made. but that hasn't stopped various groups of peoples around the world from creating new civilizations, aging and developing their nations, and the fall of so many of them. entropy is inevitable, but we shouldn't let the fear of it rule our lives.

I guess put another way, why would I fear the end of a meal so bad that I don't eat it at all, because I might be hungry later? that food will still inevitably go bad anyways, eat while you can.

I say this as non-judgementally as I can manage, but I do believe the only reason a lot of people are religious and not agnostic/atheistic is because they either can't confront the fact that we are insignificant on a cosmic scale, or they don't want to. And to some point, I think it's okay to believe in a god figure or gods if it brings you some comfort. I used to be religious, and sought satiety and peace of mind in it, until it was used against me and those I cared about, so Im coming from the viewpoint of a formerly über-religious person.

 

[offtoseethewizard]

It's definitely a weird idea certainly because knowing we exist and most likely will tomorrow is what we've grown used to. But, you're not self aware when you go to sleep or, go under anaesthetic. They are kind of practice runs in a way. It's just that but not waking up to realise you've been out of it for a while I imagine. Plus, like a lot of people tend to point out- not existing before we were born wasn't so bad.

I guess deciding solidly that you want to suicide is realising that waking up is the problem! Because of all it brings with it. So- maybe it's more a question of asking yourself- what is it about awareness that you're afraid to lose?

I think it's simply the missing out on anything. Even though I know I'm missing out anyway because of my health. I know some might say that means I'm not ready to end it. But I really am. Life's a fucking joke for me

I don't know. It's just so inconceivable. And that makes it terrifying

I guess put another way, why would I fear the end of a meal so bad that I don't eat it at all, because I might be hungry later? that food will still inevitably go bad anyways, eat while you can

That's quite a helpful analogy actually

 

[Ambivalent1]

I don't see how going to sleep and not dreaming all night is any fucking different. How can anyone be afraid of that which can't be experienced?!?!

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Fear is normal. It's understandable that you can't just think yourself out of it with the obvious reason and logic that has been mentioned..

Coping with the fear seems to be such an individual process that I have trouble giving any concrete advice.

What seems to be helpful for me is focusing on the unfold numbers of people who were forced to face death even though they didn't want to and to focus on the appealing things of it.

- maybe it's more a question of asking yourself- what is it about awareness that you're afraid to lose?

In this sense SI seems for me to consist more of finding it hard to give up the good stuff forever rather than being afraid to lose them. Since food is one such thing methods that require fasting definitely exacerbate that.

A different feeling surrounding this but not stemming from fear as such that is hard to cope with is a sense of grief at never receiving vindication or compensation for what you endured in life

 

[offtoseethewizard]

I don't see how going to sleep and not dreaming all night is any fucking different. How can anyone be afraid of that which can't be experienced?!?!

I think it's the end of any sort of possibility of anything else other than sleep without dreams

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I know the argument and I understand the logic, but it just doesn't seem to soothe me at all

Call me irrational

Ok

 

[lostinwoe]

I see so many brave atheists posting goodbye threads here. But I can't help but wonder if they really are atheists. Because if you are, doesn't the idea of non-existence scare you senseless?

I can't help thinking that most have some sort of hope of something that allows them to go over that line.

I wish I could. I just can't find any evidence of anything and it doesn't make sense to me at all that there would be anything.

My body is so sick. I'm so over it. But I just can't square off against the fact that I'll never 'be' again. It's mortifying.

I just want to know how one gets to the point of having no fear or even looking forward to never experiencing anything, ever again. I have to get there. My existence is just so pointless.

ugh I don't know what I'm even asking. Hope this makes sense

i think after you die itll be like sleeping without dreaming to me thats not scary at all

but i hope after we die we just dream forever since dreams are usually the place i find enjoyment at

 

[Captive_Mind515]

The thought of nothingness doesn't terrify me. I do find it a touch disturbing though, and I certainly don't sit around fantasising about eternal nothingness. I find that to be an absurd idea really considering you cannot experience nothingness.

But also, unlike strict atheists, I don't actually need any evidence to have some hope of there being something cool waiting for us after this life is over. I guess, because I know that humans are fallible and science is also imperfect and flawed too. So, while I agree that the scientific facts cannot show any evidence of an afterlife presently, I still wouldn't rule anything in or out. Lack of evidence isn't the same thing as conclusive proof. I think you can still be excited about the possibilities, without being dogmatic or rigid in your outlook. I like surprises, the good ones anyway, so I am content to not know and curious to find out.

 

[FuneralCry]

Eternal nothingness is all I wish for personally. I don't understand what's supposedly so scary about being permanently unable to suffer, in fact I find so much comfort in the thought of death, for me only the absence of everything is comforting. What scares me instead is this hellish and harmful existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel, I'd be very glad to permanently cease existing, existence itself is the true problem for me, it's an abomination.

 

[Linda]

How can anyone fear non-existence - which I think is basically what you mean by nothingness? Mark Twain expressed it nicely: I do not fear death, I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born and suffered not the slightest inconvenience from it.

 

[Darkover]

inevitability tick tock nothing forever a waits you

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

There's no reason to fear non-existence forever.

There is no chance of pain problems suffering anything bad happening if you don't exist . 1000's of very bad things can happen though to a human when alive .

This brain / consciousness / existence / life that can suffer unbearable constant unbearable unending pain is an abomination because it can suffer such excruciating pain. However it can only suffer while alive . But every one is taught this horror called life is a beautiful gift and that the cessation of such a state of awaiting torture is bad , to be feared.

Think of it as time traveling to when before you were born, to for example the year 1859. I didn't have any problems before I was born . Very bad problems began for me only after I was born

You won't even know you don't exist.

And it will happen anyway and soon cause life is short.

Non-existence forever is the only guarantee of never suffering pain problems, or suffering 1000's of very bad things. That's what I think happens after death non-existence forever

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

There is nothing to fear - non-existence is way better than this existence.

 

[DarkThoughts]

Nothingness is far greater than the torment we experience in life.

 

[Chronosphere]

Non-existence is basically better than any paradise you can think of. Itsn't it the same state that buddhists are trying to achieve according to thier beliefs?
Your personality is bond to your body. You thoughts, your aspirations are all dictated by your body needs. You are your body, your brain specifically.
But the body is a trap. It functions in a way that you can't be happy for a long period of time. "Happiness" is just a brief reward that you get after you fulfill your needs to stop the suffering they cause (by suffering I mean any negative experience whatsoever, doesn't matter how intense it is).
So no matter how happy you are, it's just brief moments, and it will be followed by suffering and you are doomed to search for another way to achieve the state of happiness.
When you will die, you'll lose the needs part. If you don't need anything - you can't suffer - you can't be unhappy - you are always happy. Even if "you" don't exist, this statement is still true, because someone who doesn't exist can't be unhappy.
On a contrary - paradise is just you being you but with the fulfillment of all your needs. But if you are still you, you can't be content with it. Because no matter what pose you are lying, it will get uncomfortable eventually. Because you are human and that's how humans work.

So, my point is, any post-mortem life, any paradise or whatever - is just another trap to get you after you escaped the first trap. I'll spit in the face of whatever god there is, if he'll try to get me into another prison of that kind. Non-existence is the only way out. Non-existence is the normal state of mind.

 

[wagner2029]

we evolved to stay alive, this fear is not part of you, it is just a survival mechanism.
Everyone feels this fear in the same way that everyone feels the urge to drink water.

 

[offtoseethewizard]

How can anyone fear non-existence - which I think is basically what you mean by nothingness? Mark Twain expressed it nicely: I do not fear death, I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born and suffered not the slightest inconvenience from it.

I understand the sentiment, however I suppose I subscribe to the thoughts laid out in the Philip Larkin poem 'Audabe' around this way of thinking (Not saying you're being specious by suggesting it):

I work all day, and get half-drunk at night.
Waking at four to soundless dark, I stare.
In time the curtain-edges will grow light.
Till then I see what's really always there:
Unresting death, a whole day nearer now,
Making all thought impossible but how
And where and when I shall myself die.
Arid interrogation: yet the dread
Of dying, and being dead,
Flashes afresh to hold and horrify.

The mind blanks at the glare. Not in remorse
—The good not done, the love not given, time
Torn off unused—nor wretchedly because
An only life can take so long to climb
Clear of its wrong beginnings, and may never;
But at the total emptiness for ever,
The sure extinction that we travel to
And shall be lost in always. Not to be here,
Not to be anywhere,
And soon; nothing more terrible, nothing more true.

This is a special way of being afraid
No trick dispels. Religion used to try,
That vast moth-eaten musical brocade
Created to pretend we never die,
And specious stuff that says No rational being
Can fear a thing it will not feel, not seeing
That this is what we fear—no sight, no sound,
No touch or taste or smell, nothing to think with,
Nothing to love or link with,
The anaesthetic from which none come round.

And so it stays just on the edge of vision,
A small unfocused blur, a standing chill
That slows each impulse down to indecision.
Most things may never happen: this one will,
And realisation of it rages out
In furnace-fear when we are caught without
People or drink. Courage is no good:
It means not scaring others. Being brave
Lets no one off the grave.
Death is no different whined at than withstood.

Slowly light strengthens, and the room takes shape.
It stands plain as a wardrobe, what we know,
Have always known, know that we can't escape,
Yet can't accept. One side will have to go.
Meanwhile telephones crouch, getting ready to ring
In locked-up offices, and all the uncaring
Intricate rented world begins to rouse.
The sky is white as clay, with no sun.
Work has to be done.
Postmen like doctors go from house to house.

 

[mtoro998]

I believe there is an afterlife because ive had an obe and also have seen some ghosts. My friend also saw the same thing I couldnt have been hallucinating. If it is truly nothingness though you wont be able to feel pain or experience misery just like before you were born.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

How can anyone fear non-existence - which I think is basically what you mean by nothingness? Mark Twain expressed it nicely: I do not fear death, I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born and suffered not the slightest inconvenience from it.

These are assumptions, based on what is highly likely to be incomplete information.

We are part of something that is far bigger than our tiny planet and our respectable yet limited ability to gain knowledge through scientific inquiry.

When you think about death, why restrict oneself to the margins of our mediocre human limitations? That's part of what excites me about death… the vast chasm of things that we humans know nothing about in the mind bogglingly huge universe. The possibilities are potentially endless…

To suggest we know much of anything with certainty, is both boring/unimaginative and arrogant.

 

[BlockHammer]

Well, my life is in the brink of ruin right now, i had no job despite searching anywhere and my friend already had one, one of my friend already have a nice life with a house and car which kindda makes me jealous cause it shows how incapable i am to be financially independent. So let's say that i die today and there was nothing after im death, i experience life enough to the point that nothing isn't frightning anymore

So in summary, i didn't fear the nothingness cause my life right now is kindda shit so why fear nothingness huh?

 

[Linda]

I understand the sentiment, however I suppose I subscribe to the thoughts laid out in the Philip Larkin poem 'Audabe' around this way of thinking (Not saying you're being specious by suggesting it):

I work all day, and get half-drunk at night.
Waking at four to soundless dark, I stare.
In time the curtain-edges will grow light.
Till then I see what's really always there:
Unresting death, a whole day nearer now,
Making all thought impossible but how
And where and when I shall myself die.
Arid interrogation: yet the dread
Of dying, and being dead,
Flashes afresh to hold and horrify.

The mind blanks at the glare. Not in remorse
—The good not done, the love not given, time
Torn off unused—nor wretchedly because
An only life can take so long to climb
Clear of its wrong beginnings, and may never;
But at the total emptiness for ever,
The sure extinction that we travel to
And shall be lost in always. Not to be here,
Not to be anywhere,
And soon; nothing more terrible, nothing more true.

This is a special way of being afraid
No trick dispels. Religion used to try,
That vast moth-eaten musical brocade
Created to pretend we never die,
And specious stuff that says No rational being
Can fear a thing it will not feel, not seeing
That this is what we fear—no sight, no sound,
No touch or taste or smell, nothing to think with,
Nothing to love or link with,
The anaesthetic from which none come round.

And so it stays just on the edge of vision,
A small unfocused blur, a standing chill
That slows each impulse down to indecision.
Most things may never happen: this one will,
And realisation of it rages out
In furnace-fear when we are caught without
People or drink. Courage is no good:
It means not scaring others. Being brave
Lets no one off the grave.
Death is no different whined at than withstood.

Slowly light strengthens, and the room takes shape.
It stands plain as a wardrobe, what we know,
Have always known, know that we can't escape,
Yet can't accept. One side will have to go.
Meanwhile telephones crouch, getting ready to ring
In locked-up offices, and all the uncaring
Intricate rented world begins to rouse.
The sky is white as clay, with no sun.
Work has to be done.
Postmen like doctors go from house to house.

Well, different people have different attitudes to these things. At least mine - as summarised by Mark Twain - is short and concise! Thanks for sharing the poem.

 

[Archness]

Well, personally :

As a person who experiences unconsciousness on the regular, going to sleep every night, that nothingness isn't really scary.

Having also experience a deep anesthesia with my wisdom tooth removal, it's better described as " [null] " then "Nothing".

It's not not really that nothingness that scares me. It's that you can't go back for me. Having to make those decisions are quite something for my indecisive, undetermined self.