How Do You Get a Sense of Finality?

[KafkaF]

I think one thing I've been struggling with in ending things is getting a sense of finality about it all. Feeling like I can leave it all behind. Like I can end my story in a fitting way or whatever. Get some kind of closure on my life. I'm not sure how to phrase it.

I'm just looking for a sense of finality.

Anyone have any idea on how to achieve that sense of finality? Anything I can think, do, say?

 

[Krokodile]

Perhaps if you have an extremely decisive personality that sort of thing might be possible, but I think most people are always going to have uncertainty all the way until death. I will never be certain that I want to die, but I can probably be certain that I want to avoid the life I have ahead of me if I don't. That'll have to do.

 

[KafkaF]

Perhaps if you have an extremely decisive personality that sort of thing might be possible, but I think most people are always going to have uncertainty all the way until death. I will never be certain that I want to die, but I can probably be certain that I want to avoid the life I have ahead of me if I don't. That'll have to do.

I'm not necessarily talking about certainty here. I'm talking about a sense of finality. That's different. It's just looking for a sort of way to get closure on life, I guess.

 

[donsie]

I think one thing I've been struggling with in ending things is getting a sense of finality about it all. Feeling like I can leave it all behind. Like I can end my story in a fitting way or whatever. Get some kind of closure on my life. I'm not sure how to phrase it.

I'm just looking for a sense of finality.

Anyone have any idea on how to achieve that sense of finality? Anything I can think, do, say?

I've been searching for "finality" for a few months now. It's torture. Sometimes I wonder if this is hope and it's all SI. It's torture wanting closure in life, I'd rather be in darkness

 

[Forever Sleep]

If you feel like you can't get that sense now, I think it would make more sense to ask yourself- Why? What is it you wanted to achieve/ see/ experience in life that you haven't? Can you realistically achieve those things now?

All I can do is share my own experience. So, there are a couple of things I'd like to do before I CTB. I'd like to eat some nice food and see some beautiful landscapes with water in. But- if I really think about it and think- if I had to CTB tomorrow- would I be ok with that? I'd hope that I would. The reality is- I have eaten nice food. I have seen beautiful landscapes. Yes- those things would be nice to do in the moment but I believe- if/ when we die, all our moments end and vanish. I don't believe I'll be able to regret not having done those things at that point.

As for bigger life stuff- relationships, friendships, career goals- I've either rejected them all together or I feel like the reward won't be worth the effort I put in.

It probably depends on how 'pressing' your death feels too. Mine is likely to become very pressing all of a sudden and in a general sense- the wish I have to not endure my future outweighs a couple of experiences that might bring me a bit of happiness. So- to me- I feel relatively comfortable with the decision itself. Of course- carrying it out is a whole other matter but I'm hoping the nature of my circumstances will be enough to scare me in to it.

 

[FuneralCry]

Maybe many people feel in this certain way as death is all they want, they are tired of existing and simply don't wish to continue. I'm not sure if people can force themselves to feel a certain way, rather it's just how they feel, in my case I'd be relieved if I had a guaranteed way to free myself from this existence in peace as only the thought of eternal nothingness comforts me and I always see it as preferable to not exist.

 

[toyruin44]

I can see what you do mean here. I have finalized my plan to CTB myself. This very week in fact. Now nothing really gets at me and I feel more powerful than ever. And relieved. It's over now. No more tests and anxieties and failures and worries and so on. There's no rational and humane explanation for human existence and I am out, boy! I feel calm and hopeful now.