Discussion How do you feel emotions?

[Qua]

Two days ago I talked with my therapist and learned that I might have "emotional dissociacion". It made me curious, how do you feel emotions? For example, for me anger is feeling pressure in my chest and tingles in my whole arm. My voice lowers/deepers and my gaze gets stuck on one point or the person I'm currently talking to. Sadness feels like something big is stuck inside my chest and throat, like something is gripping my head and like my heart is ripping apart. Happiness... i don't know, i can't explain how my body reacts to that since i don't remember the last time i felt it.

How is it for you?

 

[jaxxon_sunn]

For me I mainly feel embarrassed/insecure, sadness and loneliness, anger/silent rage and maybe joy (rarely) Its all very diluted because my pushing my feelings away and the medication. But anger I can feel the most. I let it build up, trying to suppress it. The other emotions I can let out but I never want anyone to see me in anger. It starts in my chest, my heart beats faster, my jaw clenches even more. My hands grip a lot harder on whatever I have, my nails dig into my skin. I start breathing very heavy trying to let out steam. I have to go somewhere alone and cool off maybe listening to music, just being by myself. I have not found a good coping mechanism for my anger yet.

Another contender is depression. I feel that way too much. Feeling like im alone and can't keep going. That feeling for me is tired eyes, burning throat (like that after you've cried) tears wanting to come out but theres no energy to cry. Limbs and body not able to move at all unless I force and push myself. sorry if this is too long

 

[FuneralCry]

I mostly just feel so tired of everything and empty really. And I very often feel dread for what lies ahead, existence certainly is something that is repluisve, there's no relief from suffering as long as one is trapped here.

 

[Azno]

My emotions are messy, and most of the time they are weak, I don't know how I'm feeling rn, but I remember feeling joyful for a few hours 2 weeks ago.

 

[Forever Sleep]

If it's frustration and anger with myself- it's like I'm a boiling kettle about to explode in my head. When it's really bad- I'll whack myself over the head with something.

I don't feel anger that much towards other people but when I do- fear accompanies it- probably because I don't know what to do to release it. Common sense keeps me from showing agression either verbally or physically but for a while- I'll start hurrying around the house, shaking all over in a kind of confused panic trying to work out what to do. Normally, I'll calm myself down before I try and deal with whatever has trigerred it.

Nervousness I feel in my stomach- sick to the stomach with nerves as they say. If it's REALLY bad- my eyes will water for some weird reason and I'll get the runs. (Sorry to be graphic.)

Excitement is kind of weird. Especially around the thought of CTB. (I do actually feel quite excited about that sometimes- like the fruition of a longterm dream.) Anyhow- I tend to feel excitement- especially around CTB as a tingling in my right hand. God knows why!

Sadness varies. It can be just melancholy- which can feel almost comforting. A quick cry and release of emotions. Then there is that deep grief where you feel like a hole has opened up in your heart. That kind of makes me curl up- I guess in some attempt to hug myself. That can go on and on in waves. You think you're done and then, you remember what made you sad and it floods over you again. It's like your whole body tenses and you don't even breath as tears come gushing out. I'm a bit like a washing machine when I'm like that. I don't know how else to describe it! I just kind of sit on my bed/ stand over the sink and shudder in waves.

Happiness- yeah- I have experienced it. It can be serene- like suddenly, you realise you're not worried. You take a deep breath- preferably outside and really notice how fresh the air is. I think that type I've felt all over- like when you just suddenly relax everything and feel like it's all ok.

Real joy I think you feel in your heart as gratitude- like butterflies in your heart. I guess it's another cliche but- like your heart is about to burst or overflow. I guess that feeling frightens me though too because it feels like a glimpse of what life could be like- but then I know how painful it is when you lose the source of that happiness- because for me- that real euphoria has been connected to other people and life is so full of loss. So- I tend to feel happy and then scared.

Love- well- my love life is non existant and messed up. All my crushes have likely been limerance and they were all horrible. Nervousness, shame, longing. Not much fun.

Love for my family also comes with fear of loss too. So- I suppose there's this part of me that doesn't want to get close to people for fear of losing them. So chances are- when I let myself feel vulnerable enough to feel love, I'll burst into tears thinking about the prospect of losing it.

It's been an interesting exercise. Thanks for posting the thread. It's quite hard to describe emotions really.

 

[crimsonpool]

i usually only feel anger anymore which feels like im going to explode like theres pressure building inside my body. im happy sometimes which is kind of like a light feeling. other than that its usually just a null feeling

 

[neurotic]

It's hard to describe how I feel to someone, let alone my emotions. The best way I can describe it is an irrational feeling of action communicating to me to do something with my body. Like feeling drowsy from lack of sleep, my body tells me to pour streams from my eyes for some times no reason. Some times I can control it, other times the pressure is too much to hold back.

 

[outrider567]

I don't feel emotions anymore, just sadness

 

[rabid_aspie_yokai]

It's hard for me to recognise emotions, (maybe due to autism) but I physically feel them very well.
I recognise two main types of emotions.
(Sorry it's kinda long, but I'm glad I have the opportunity to talk about it)

First type is when I feel some kind of "tension" in my body. When I'm anxious it's "pins and needles" all over, mainly in my stomach, sometimes with nausea . Or when I'm angry/frustrated it's in my arms and legs. When I'm excited about something it's more like "bubbles" or "butterflies"in my stomach, which is not painful, but uncomfortable. When I'm simply happy it's not uncomfy at all. Disappointment is definitely in the stomach, fear is in the limbs and throat, getting scared is a sudden pins and needles all over... When I'm nauseous/ have diarrhea for no reason I'm very stressed (doctor told me so I guess she's right)

Second type is when I don't feel tension… like I don't feel anything physically. That makes them harder to recognise. When I'm curious, I ask about/google the stuff. When I do things that suppose to make me happy (hobbies like drawing, videogames, learning about special interests), I don't really feel anything, Ijust do the stuff, and time flies. I can't recognise sadness very well, I mostly feel tired and bored when good things haven't happened in a while (boredom can be painful sometimes but only if I MUST focus on something that I'm not interested in, it's rare).
I hope it's understandable lol

 

[charlotte_]

I tend to just feel a constant void floating around my mind, sucking in everything. I don't want to feel emotions. It makes me feel even more ashamed of myself.

 

[sensation86]

Terror, panic, extreme anxiety 24 hours a day, continuous nightmares when I sleep.
My mind and my body have become a torture chamber where my demons roam free.
Currently I am not able to feel any other emotion.
I don't know how much longer I will be able to continue enduring so much suffering.
We all have a breaking point.
I have turned my life into hell and I see it as practically impossible to get out of it.
I should be fucking dead a long time ago.

 

[yobba]

I feel mostly anger and sadness. Anything related to happiness is immediately followed with emptiness as this emotion is temporary and doesn't change anything

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Since quite a few weeks I don't feel any real emotions any more just emptiness. There are some moment when I could feel happiness but I try to avoid them, Dunno why.

 

[picklemick]

Didn't read the post. But I'll say extremely because of bpd.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Anger & Rage, only the darkness of night brings focus and clarity

 

[Rabbit-]

This is a very interesting thread topic, it was fun to read through the replies!

For me, my emotions flicker between extremes and exhausted apathy. The latter is infinite and deep, like a yawning abyss. I feel disconnected from everything and as if my consciousness is floating in darkness. As for the rest:


Sadness I'd describe as crushing, physically and mentally. It's unbearable. I'd rather apathy, every time. I'm usually too busy spiraling to focus on bodily sensations, but I can at least say that I always have to urge to scream or to start babbling nonsense to myself, so I suppose part of it must be in my throat.

Anger makes my whole body tense, especially my limbs. It can affect my jaw, too. Since I'm focused on suppressing it I tend to be very "in my head", expressing it internally rather than externally, and I barely speak. It usually feels as though I'm about to boil over and lose control due to how much I've bottled up over my lifetime.

When I'm anxious, I tend to make myself as small as I can to try and feel safer. I often hide my face behind my hair, and I hold my arms close to me with a hunched sort of posture.

My happiness is mainly in my shoulders and hands, I think, which is strange. I fidget a lot, and my thoughts feel light. Also, it's rare, but there are times when I've been so overwhelmed by joy that I've had to stop to calm myself down because it turned uncomfortable. I would start to experience very bad sensory overload, and my excitement would turn into uncontrollable physical anxiety, making me shaky and dissociated.

Oh- And if I experience particularly strong emotions of any kind whether positive or negative, my chest gets very tight, and I feel like my heart is in a vice grip.

 

[offbalance]

Two days ago I talked with my therapist and learned that I might have "emotional dissociacion". It made me curious, how do you feel emotions? For example, for me anger is feeling pressure in my chest and tingles in my whole arm. My voice lowers/deepers and my gaze gets stuck on one point or the person I'm currently talking to. Sadness feels like something big is stuck inside my chest and throat, like something is gripping my head and like my heart is ripping apart. Happiness... i don't know, i can't explain how my body reacts to that since i don't remember the last time i felt it.

How is it for you?

Dread, anger, shock, confusion, hasn't changed much since being a kid and moody probably being betrayed by a family member (Not that I remember much) Also bewilderment that I landed in such an absurd existence. Confusion about my spiritual beliefs and beliefs on free will. Dysphoria from being trans but can I suppress it and should I actually transition or not transition to make it easier to ctb? Suicidality but also fear of fucking up.. A chaotic mess and unsure where to go and what to do and what to think. Sadness. Also detachment lately at the thought of death. A jumble of things!

Okay I'm kinda drunk and took this thread to ask how others feel, but yeah I experience emotions like that a lot, chaotic and simultaneous and disorganized and also muted sometimes