How do you even start

[lqpbxeuh]

I want to start the plan of ctb but I dunno how to start. I'm 21, no money, no car or driver license, and live with (more like trapped) with three other emotionally abusive family members.

I don't want to go out dramatically.

I don't want to leave the burden of someone else cleaning up my body, and leave as little trauma as possible for the people around me.

I am leaning towards gun/shot gun. Maybe I'll hire someone to do it for me.

But I think more of the difficult part is everything before the suicide. Do you write letters? Do you tell anyone? What do you even say? I dont want people going the rest of their lives blaming themselves (even if it may be true) What do you do about your belongings? I have journals and sensitive stuff. I dont want people going through them when I'm gone. Nor do I want to physically destroy them incase I change my mind. What about digital life? Do you erase it? I'm worried that my SS account will be found and linked to me and this site will be further incriminated for "killing people." What about the legal stuff? Ive been sheltered my whole life, I dunno where to even begin with that stuff.

Please help.

 

[Helween]

most methods require money sadly.. , how you'll handle it however depends of you, do what you wanna do and don't if you don't. There's no "easy" way to go, in any case it'll hurt people, make them sad or such. You can just decide if you want to do it anyway. You could still get rid of your belongings and digital life yourself before CTB

 

[justcallmeJ]

Mostly its a very personal journey which might take a lot of thinking and planning.
First of all i would get hold of a method. Sometimes having one can change your mind, even for a bit because it means you have a way out.
Slowly think of a date afterwards, will it be asap? Or will you think of a date not close to any beloved onces birthdays or holidays to prevent ruining peoples days?
With notes you can decide on nothing at all, a will and personal notes where you explain why you did it for example.
Be careful with telling people, its best to not say anything to prevent getting sent to a psych ward or your room getting searched.
For your journals could you maybe put it in a box and bury it? For files maybe place it on an online cloud storage, or send files to a private email, ofcourse remember the password in your head. And for info on the computer deleting computer history comes a long way. Check if passwords are getting saved too.
You gotta accept that people will grief whatever method you use. There is no going around that.
But ofcourse before you begin any of this, really think though if this is what you want. Its a permanent decision with harsh consequences.

I hope this helped you a bit, good luck <3

 

[F@#$]

I quit giving a fuck about others. Actually I intend to do as much emotional damage as I can to whoever I can. Zero fucks given. Giving back what I've gotten from the world.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, I really wish that it's more straightforward to finally be free from this existence, it's cruel and dreadful to me how it's so unnecessarily difficult for one to die on their own terms.

 

[koalamenace12]

I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, I really wish that it's more straightforward to finally be free from this existence, it's cruel and dreadful to me how it's so unnecessarily difficult for one to die on their own terms.

yes i agree