• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
JaegerBombastic

JaegerBombastic

Member
Jul 11, 2025
19
I'm so miserable. Every night I go to sleep and hope I don't wake up. Obviously, I've been considering CTB for a while now; I already have a plan in place. But I can't seem to get this feeling out of my head that maybe I should wait. I think I'm hoping things will be different, or that my mental health will suddenly get better.

It's not that I have any strong desire to keep living, I just don't know when the right moment will come. I'm so tired.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: JeiJie, Forever Sleep and Joarga
avstin

avstin

ᡕᠵデᡁ᠊╾━
Aug 18, 2023
34
there is never a right moment. maybe one day a sudden trigger will come, many people take their lives on impulse, but there is no perfect moment:( a better tomorrow may or may not come; at some point you just get tired of waiting
 
  • Like
Reactions: unluckysadness, lotus.dead, outrider567 and 2 others
JaegerBombastic

JaegerBombastic

Member
Jul 11, 2025
19
there is never a right moment. maybe one day a sudden trigger will come, many people take their lives on impulse, but there is no perfect moment:( a better tomorrow may or may not come; at some point you just get tired of waiting
It feels like that's what's gonna end up happening. I think I'm just so anxious about it, I don't want it to happen on a whim.
 
finalmission

finalmission

Student
Jan 8, 2025
119
When I will be mentally strong enough, so might be tomorrow or next week, month (i hope tomorrow)
 
avstin

avstin

ᡕᠵデᡁ᠊╾━
Aug 18, 2023
34
It feels like that's what's gonna end up happening. I think I'm just so anxious about it, I don't want it to happen on a whim.
all I can say is - take your time. there is no need to rush someting as inevitable as death. I think there's no point in stressing about it, and it's better to approach it calmly. think it through, make peace with leaving. if you ever need someone to talk to, don't be afraid to reach out:) and take care, I wish you all the best
 
  • Like
Reactions: snowboard9098
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,490
For me I'd just never want to suffer in this torturous, cruel and dreadful existence I just always saw as the most terrible mistake and I only continue to be burdened with this terrible, dreadful existence as a result of being so cruelly denied the option to never suffer again with the suffering and torture of existing seen as to force and prolong no matter what. For me ceasing to exist is all that's right, for me ceasing to exist is the positive solution to peacefully prevent all future torture and to me existing will always be torture.
 
Ima-username

Ima-username

Mentally Tortured
Feb 15, 2026
92
For me its when i get a call/text/letter telling me they are gonna charge me for some things where its rigged against me where the law doesnt let me defend myself or care for the context. Anything u think is a defense is only something to lower a charge and with the mandatory mins/requirements im just gonna CTB.
Im struggling to hold out till that call. The temptation to CTB now before i get the pain of knowing is so hard to ignore.
 
  • Like
Reactions: JeiJie

Similar threads

I
Replies
2
Views
302
Suicide Discussion
ifckinhatelife
I
sleazyyyy
Replies
24
Views
751
Suicide Discussion
DoomedDarkCircles
DoomedDarkCircles
whycantyouloveme
Replies
1
Views
228
Suicide Discussion
User8
User8
kurvinox
Replies
2
Views
245
Suicide Discussion
scenecore fan
scenecore fan