how do you deal with survival instinct and fear of death?

[Blue Ocean]

I have my reasons to ctb and I know my life will not materially improve, I am confident in that

 

[onmywaytothebusstop]

My rule is to make myself as impulsive and psychotic as possible.

There's quite a few things that can induce that for me.
- alcohol
- Benzos (or the withdrawal of it)
- Upping dose of antidepressants to abruptly stop them
- cutting
- increase stress levels
- putting yourself in a situation you can't come back from - financially, materially,socially, etc...)

Ymmv

 

[danny10]

I'll use benzos to deal with SI.

 

[NonEssential]

SI is the reason why I can't really even consider partial hanging. It needs to full suspension if I want it to work.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't fear death, I personally fear suffering in this cruel, torturous existence, what terrifies me is how a human can suffer for so long in this existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel, to me existence really is an abomination. I'd be so relieved to never exist ever again, in this horrific reality where there is all this endless suffering and cruelty non-existence is all that's positive for me, I wish there's the option to just choose to fall asleep permanently with no risks of it going wrong and leading to way worse torture as I'd always prefer to not exist than suffer in this existence just to decay and die anyway.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I think life becomes so painful at some point to you. It's unbearable to continue on and you've exhausted everything that could possibly help your internal pain. The choice becomes easier when you becomes hopeless. I was always sober on my attempts. I never wanted to die honestly, I just wanted the pain to stop. If someone told me in 3 months I'd feel better, I never would have ever tried. That's never possible of course. I didn't care what the other side was or wasn't, I just knew staying here was unbearable during my attempts.

 

[DivineSpark]

My survival instinct is dead. I have no fear of death, but I have fear of suffering.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm going to picture the (suspected) narcissist I might have to see again if I don't CTB. That ought to be enough to push me over the edge. They feel more frightening than anything else on this earth to me.