How do you deal with life's problems that are beyond your control?

[VivaldiBR]

I think that certain things we don't like in life are difficult to change in the short term, or even that those things will never really change.

What you do about those issues you cannot control?
Do you try to accept reality as it presents itself or you dont try nothing at all?

(It is an honest question. Please, no active or passive aggression.)

 

[signifying nothing]

Yeah, I think you try to figure out what/who you have influence over/with and have the ability to do something about.

Spending too much time and energy on anything (anyone) outside of those just isn't going to be helpful. As you say, a level of acceptance needs to be found.

Oh, and try to focus on now/near term. No point getting stuck in the past or imagining a future that'll never exist.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

It is called radical acceptance.
I really do not care too much about whatever happens to me that is out of my control.
I laugh at my life it is a giant meme

 

[Kramer]

By accepting it or ending it

 

[Worndown]

If it is real and you cannot change it, adapting is required. Determine if and how it impacts your life and the level if importance. Try to plot a path through this that brings you the most serenity.

 

[Weather]

How do I deal with problems beyond my control?

A lot of unhealthy rumination and daydreams about time machines. Sometimes cookies.

I was surprised to learn others deal in other ways. ;)

 

[Ghost2211]

It is our nature to adapt and/or endure. It's amazing what can become the new normal.

 

[signifying nothing]

I want to add that you might also consider re-evaluating the significance of things. Both that you might be giving too much significance to things that you cannot do anything about, but also that you're not giving enough significance to the things you can do something about?

 

[SanJunipero1]

I just assume everything is always going to go to shit so that when it does I just view it as yet another punchline to the cosmic joke that is my life and material for my writing. On the rare occasion things go well it's a pleasant surprise and when it does go tits up I also get to be smug and right which I love

Because of the above, I'm not scared to try anything. I've traded hope which clinging onto only to have it slapped out of my hands time and time again was killing me, for fearlessness. That's how I survive.

 

[Worndown]

How do I deal with problems beyond my control?

A lot of unhealthy rumination and daydreams about time machines. Sometimes cookies.

I was surprised to learn others deal in other ways. ;)

Yes, cookies.
I forgot cookies!!!

 

[Life_and_Death]

Serenity prayer (well my version). I just replaced God with I.

Take a deep, recite it, figure out which step you're at and kind of go from there.

 

[Sensei]

Essentially, I ignore them. The process is partially subconscious.

 

[muffin222]

This may not help or resonate with you depending upon your personal belief system, but I simply surrender the issues to a higher power/the Universe and accept that I can't control the outcome of every situation.

 

[netrezven]

Almost every second part of my mind goes into every bad and scary stuff that can possibly happen. I believe that most of the things are related in some distant way. There are things i can't control - like accidents and stuff, health. But my mind lives with them. And it's very very extreeme. Really extreme stuff and fears and not about me-but the people i love too.. Lvining it since little. I've read somewhere that this is sign for PTSD. I don't know.
So usually i'm not afraid from anything that most people are literally scared to death. I'm a friend with "monsters" and i love them.
What i do to cope with stuff i can't control - I imagine how the years go and what desigions/actions/lack of actions can lead to this event. Like - i won't ever trade drugs /because in 5-10 years someone will fuck up and betray me, and i will have to kill them or something/, same goes with weapons and such things. Don't go on weekends outside town, because of high traffic. Whatever i do i'm so scared that i overthink it's possible problematic outcome years ahead and what i will have to pay too. In my head my country is going to be in a warzone - 7-10years from now. And i can't find any possible outcome to change this. It's only in my head, so everything should be fine, except if you know part of me in real life.
I'm scared that money can change and lose trust, and can't find a good way to store gold. Real estates...will wait a little - but again - governments can take that too much easier than bank accounts. Crypto works for now...at least you have some time to react.../politically triggered change in prise/
I'm really living the end of the world every day multiple times. I'm used to it. At least i can do what i want whenever i want outside my scary mind box.
i didn't saw this pandemic comming. Ya, i knew about the stock markets, but always tought that this was because of one kid's algorithm posted online about the spread. Had no idea why they give this virus so much attention back in decembre 2019. I did miss forseeing alot from what came this year. So i'm not perfect, and so there is some hope for humanity at least :)

 

[Tired_Tired]

Empathy, sympathy and gratitude. In short, love your enemies and accept any bad things happened to your because it's your destiny. Most important believe God is existing.

 

[Nexuno]

If there's nothing to do, do nothing. The only thing you can do if you really have no control over a problem is to create unnecessary mental pain. Just ignore it, right now.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

I guess it really depends. This week, I've been trying to just kind of accept that there's nothing I can do and let it go. Usually I freak out; my mind just goes into overdrive about everything (even though I know it's silly and doesn't help). I find that it helps to just talk to people about these kinds of things, see how a similar circumstance turned out for them.

@do not conform Your comment really resonated with me. Nice and simple, but it seems rather effective.

It is our nature to adapt and/or endure. It's amazing what can become the new normal.

Oooh, very good point. Makes me reflect on my own life and past experiences, what I've been able to adapt to - thank you.

 

[Nexuno]

Usually I freak out; my mind just goes into overdrive about everything (even though I know it's silly and doesn't help).

Lol, I perfectly understand you. I used to be like this almost all my life The good thing about this is that until you are able to freak out this means you potentially have enough strength and will power to carry on. ;)

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Lol, I perfectly understand you. I used to be like this almost all my life The good thing about this is that until you are able to freak out this means you potentially have enough strength and will power to carry on. ;)

Yes, what you said reminds me of the window of tolerance. Not really sure where I'm going with this because my mind just blanked out, but...yeah. Lol.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I think that certain things we don't like in life are difficult to change in the short term, or even that those things will never really change.

What you do about those issues you cannot control?
Do you try to accept reality as it presents itself or you dont try nothing at all?

(It is an honest question. Please, no active or passive aggression.)

Honestly? I panic. Not proud of it. If it's beyond my control it freaks me TF out, well, at least if it has a substantial negative effect on my life. If it has a negligible effect then I just let it slide.

But I'd prefer to be able to act in the words of Cort:
"Control the things you can control... let everything else take a flying fuck at you, and if you must go down, go down with your guns blazing."

 

[Fizz]

Still trying to work that one out - my head won't stop spinning with conversations and reminders that I'm worthless. It's so hard to move past.

 

[KleinerWolf]

In terms of staying alive,
I get tattoos/alcohol.

Seems to work for me in the past.

 

[Mentalmick]

Locking myself away and hurting myself usually.

 

[Roberto]

I think that certain things we don't like in life are difficult to change in the short term, or even that those things will never really change.

What you do about those issues you cannot control?
Do you try to accept reality as it presents itself or you dont try nothing at all?

(It is an honest question. Please, no active or passive aggression.)

Why do you explain that is an honest question?
My life is about not being able to cope with things. I usually pass over the problems. See them, feel bad and do nothing about it. The next day the same.
I have a problem in the kitchen, for instance. Everyday water is coming from beneath the washing machine. I don't have money to call someone to fix it and I don't have energy to do it myself. I could call the insurance carrier, but I think it won't work. Like it happened in the past. So ... what do I do? dry the mess everyday until someone says me something in the flat below mine.
If it doesn't fix itself, it doesn't get fixed.
I just can't manage these situations.
Sorry. I would like to give a more positive feedback.
A hug!

 

[Zak]

I wish I knew of ways. All I can think about is suicide. I think about it at least 80% of the day. But think of it also makes me sick; I dont want to die but I cannot accept these new things about my life I cannot change