How do you deal with isolation and having literally zero friends?

[everydayiloveyou]

Working retail helps me in a weird way. I like the feeling when a customer comes to me really upset and angry, and all I have to do is listen and sympathize with them, and they leave the store feeling satisfied and with their problem resolved. It's not as good as having real friends but customers tend to remember you! If you're nice or funny, or even if they just like to see you, they'll often let you know.

You can apply this to anything you do. When you go to run errands, be extra nice and patient to everyone. If you see someone who needs 50 cents for bus fare or whatever, help them out if you can. Sometimes they'll talk to you and say something nice. Those low-stress, one-off interactions with random people can help you feel connected with the world without the additional expectations that a real friend who sees you every day might put on you.

Otherwise it helps to have lots of solitary hobbies. Arts, crafts, and music can be done by yourself. Then there's getting into books, TV shows, or comics. Things that you can enjoy fully by yourself, but that you can easily find public discussion forums/groups online where it's easy to lurk and feel "included" without actually talking to anyone. Everyone else is right when they say having an obsession of some sort is super helpful lol

 

[262653]

I think that's a pretty smart observation you've made here, and you might just be right. Perhaps it isn't actual longing for a connection, because I partly get that just from being on this forum, maybe I struggle to differentiate boredom from loneliness, and that's why I don't feel like putting in the effort into any relationship. Thank you, I'll keep your post in mind from now on.

One way to become more certain (or less) is to journal experience, and see in what situations you feel lonely or bored, or when you don't feel lonely in your own company, or feel bored with a task at hand, or not feel bored while doing nothing. See what precedes those emotions, and when they dissipate.