same.
I remember so long ago reading about a study. I think about it from time to time. There had been a researcher who wondered why some adult survivors of CSA went on to have somewhat normal lives while most others suffered miserably and still others who barely managed to keep breathing. So he did a study, and asked thousands of people some questions, then correlated the answers. Come to find out, the people who had somewhat of a normal life all had one thing in common. As children while going though the abusive situation, they had at least one person who understood and sympathized. Someone to act as a positive role model. That's all it took to make the difference. Just one person to act as external validation. It gave them the confidence to persevere.
And of course contrast that with the rest, who not only had no one but for some of them, everywhere they turned they had people (some of whom who were also abusive) who were gaslighting, them, manipulating them into pretending that the abusive situation wasn't abusive. That's enough to make anybody permanently crazy and set you up for a lifetime of pain and depression.
I guess what I'm trying to say is.... we just don't know what kind of early life he experienced and who he had for role models, compared to ours, so it's not fair to make comparisons regarding our later lives. But I get it, I make those comparisons too about my own life, comparing myself to someone else, when I really shouldn't. It's only when I see someone else doing it and I wanted to offer a little comfort to you if I could, that made me realize hey wait a minute... Let's think through that again. So thanks for that Midian, I hope you find some peace.