Discussion How do you cope with the fact that most people strongly oppose suicide and consider you crazy or immoral?

[Socrates Respecter]

Mostly because they're just being irrational, not willing to consider arguments or literally not capable of understanding them

Some educated and sophisticated people are also against it and present arguments, so how do we handle the disagreement? Seems to me you just can't make any compromise with hardcore pro lifers or religious folk

so we remain misunderstood and ostracized and without being able to be in control of our own life.

 

[Saturn_]

I simply don't talk about it with them. I learned a long time ago that any expression of suicidal ideation will result in some sort of intervention and will only lead to more stress. Talking to people doesn't help, so why bother? I have everything I need to kill myself coming in anyways. They won't know until I'm already dead. They can disagree with me all they want, but I might as well bite my tongue and save my energy so I can die without the stress from dealing with them.

 

[divinemistress36]

There's no point in debating with them they will never change their minds

 

[Jorms_McGander]

Not very well haha.

So I need to have a doctor evaluate and bla bla bla but I've got some kind of connective tissue disorder and at 37 I'm realising that I'm not weaker than everybody else like the adults in my life told me while I was growing up. I'm actually in pain. Real, physical pain, because my joints are subluxating [a partial dislocation]. I've been masking that bullshit for thirty god damned years because of the ABSOLUTE FUCKING INABILITY OF A NORMIE TO CONCEIVE OF ANY EXPERIENCE WHICH DOESN'T DIRECTLY CORRESPOND TO THEIR OWN.

I gotta say it's fucking PATHETIC the lack of mental flexibility these idiots display. God damn pathetic. When people are different, it is forced by the laws of goddamn physics that the difference must accomodate the norm. Because the norm is the standard acceptable response and every ergonomic design is going to be targeted to the normative body and the normative experience and normative human beings get to live their entire life wrapped in their normative little bubbles of normative emotions and normative reactions to normative situations

I was never expecting to have these thoughts and I'm a committed pacifist but my fucking god do I ever just want to scream all of this at the top of my lungs until all the trauma has been scraped from the recollections of a tiny lost little boy that nobody understood, scraped out of his recollections and smeared all over the world around me and the world is as disgusting and horrible as I feel inside after living here for this. fucking. long.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate the opportunity to process some of this with all of you.

 

[Blurry_Buildings]

I don't need to since I will be gone by the time they know. I am tired of constantly being judged. I am sure that I am already generally disliked as well, so the general attitude towatds me after death wouldn't change.

 

[Socrates Respecter]

Not very well haha.

So I need to have a doctor evaluate and bla bla bla but I've got some kind of connective tissue disorder and at 37 I'm realising that I'm not weaker than everybody else like the adults in my life told me while I was growing up. I'm actually in pain. Real, physical pain, because my joints are subluxating [a partial dislocation]. I've been masking that bullshit for thirty god damned years because of the ABSOLUTE FUCKING INABILITY OF A NORMIE TO CONCEIVE OF ANY EXPERIENCE WHICH DOESN'T DIRECTLY CORRESPOND TO THEIR OWN.

I gotta say it's fucking PATHETIC the lack of mental flexibility these idiots display. God damn pathetic. When people are different, it is forced by the laws of goddamn physics that the difference must accomodate the norm. Because the norm is the standard, acceptable, response and every ergonomic design is going to be targeted to the normative body and the normative experience and normative human beings get to live their entire life wrapped in their normative little bubbles of normative emotions and normative reactions to normative situations

I was never expecting to have these thoughts and I'm a committed pacifist but my fucking god do I ever just want to scream all of this at the top of my lungs until all the trauma has been scraped from the recollections of a tiny lost little boy that nobody understood, scraped out of his recollections and smeared all over the world around me and the world is as disgusting and horrible as I feel inside after living here for this. fucking. long.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate the opportunity to process some of this with all of you.

maybe some people just cannot relate and it's really as simple as that. When someone says "I was in a similar situation but I got through!" - they don't really get it. Because all people are different, if something works out for you doesnt mean its gonna work for everyone else
My sympathy goes out to you

 

[ThisGameIsOverrated]

The opinions of delusional people who are too weak to challenge societal and instinctual views on life and death don't mean anything to me so I don't need to "cope"

 

[KillingPain267]

Fuck 'em
Edit: Well, they need to try being in excruciating pain every day where the only temporary relief is hard drugs. Then they might change their minds. I was a hardcore religious pro-natalist pro-lifer just a few years ago. Now I am still religious but can't even think straight about making an argument because of the pain... so I am just begging for death like someone tortured for days in a dungeon.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

maybe some people just cannot relate and it's really as simple as that. My sympathy goes out to you

I guess it's something of a spectrum. I am hypersensitive and I have more empathy than most people. This is not an advantage to me. Most people seem to me as being ignorant, selfish, and/or inconsiderate. This becomes self-serving behaviour in my own self as I find it downright challenging to assert my needs among people who are comparatively much more brash than I am. So I will find relationships that I can either apply strain to, or which don't matter at all, and then I will serve my own needs through those connections.

I guess the sickness in me is that I am taking resources from too close within the social network and that offends people--they would rather me to offer some sort of bonding experience or sycophant behaviour or something I don't really care to give, or maybe something I don't have.

You know that optical illusion with the spinning dancer doing a pirouette? It's a two-tone animation IIRC and your mind produces the effect of rotation. In reality it's a 2D shape changing. Your mind can produce the rotation both clockwise and counterclockwise, and you can get your mind to switch the perceived direction with a little concentration. That's how it feels to think about this stuff. Am I the predator, manipulating all of my relationships to stay alive while expending minimal effort? I mean, there are legitimate reasons I am different. There are things that have been misunderstood. I have been validated and diagnosed by many professionals. I have had this explained to me that it is not my fault. Etcetera.

But still--what if I am the monster after all

 

[hadenough58]

It is certainly not a dinner table discussion and I do not really discuss it outside of this forum with the exception of my mental heath with my current doctor who to be honest seems to avoid the subject and to my best recollection has never used the word "suicide"

 

[divinemistress36]

I guess it's something of a spectrum. I am hypersensitive and I have more empathy than most people. This is not an advantage to me. Most people seem to me as being ignorant, selfish, and/or inconsiderate. This becomes self-serving behaviour in my own self as I find it downright challenging to assert my needs among people who are comparatively much more brash than I am. So I will find relationships that I can either apply strain to, or which don't matter at all, and then I will serve my own needs through those connections.

I guess the sickness in me is that I am taking resources from too close within the social network and that offends people--they would rather me to offer some sort of bonding experience or sycophant behaviour or something I don't really care to give, or maybe something I don't have.

You know that optical illusion with the spinning dancer doing a pirouette? It's a two-tone animation IIRC and your mind produces the effect of rotation. In reality it's a 2D shape changing. Your mind can produce the rotation both clockwise and counterclockwise, and you can get your mind to switch the perceived direction with a little concentration. That's how it feels to think about this stuff. Am I the predator, manipulating all of my relationships to stay alive while expending minimal effort? I mean, there are legitimate reasons I am different. There are things that have been misunderstood. I have been validated and diagnosed by many professionals. I have had this explained to me that it is not my fault. Etcetera.

But still--what if I am the monster after all

We are in survival mode we aren't meaning to be selfish we simply just don't have the energy to give to others. I've become self consumed with my trauma that I do forget others pain I don't mean to its just your body is focused purely on survival it's annoying

 

[Socrates Respecter]

We are in survival mode we aren't meaning to be selfish we simply just don't have the energy to give to others. I've become self consumed with my trauma that I do forget others pain I don't mean to its just your body is focused purely on survival it's annoying

and morality cannot require the impossible. But how can you explain it to your average Joe? Most people just project their own personality and values on your situation and assume you're to blame because you're too weak or lazy. I get annoyed by this stupidity even though I know I shouldn't be. Smh.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

It is certainly not a dinner table discussion and I do not really discuss it outside of this forum with the exception of my mental heath with my current doctor who to be honest seems to avoid the subject and to my best recollection has never used the word "suicide"

I really want it to be a dinner table conversation. I find it frustrating that it is otherwise. I am tired of answering "I'm fine" and people are gonna have all these dumbass fucking theories about why I killed myself, and half of them are not going to be able to think past the addictions I developed, and all of the fucks who will feel entitled to speak at my funeral are going to defend their own egoes and wonder how it happened when those assholes are the only chronic figures in my life who could possibly have delivered me traumatic invalidation which must be practiced on a chronic, day-in and day-out basis of subtle misunderstandings and failed communications and all that lovely shit that they just can't possibwy undewstand

I think what they're going to get is a will that says "my family is not welcome to speak at my funeral." but you know that will never be respected and they'll have their fucking conversations anyway, and lucky for me it won't matter so maybe my last communique should be more focused on suggesting that they may think whatever the fuck they like about me, because that's how they've treated me in life so go the fuck ahead and talk shit about me in death too.

The people who were supposed to raise me and protect me, or just grow up alongside me without treating me like shit lmfao and to this day they'd be pikachu face if I suggested they play a role in my trauma.

 

[sserafim]

I don't care. Their opinions don't matter to me. Why should I care about what other people think?

The opinions of delusional people who are too weak to challenge societal and instinctual views on life and death don't mean anything to me so I don't need to "cope"

Same

 

[Socrates Respecter]

I really want it to be a dinner table conversation. I find it frustrating that it is otherwise. I am tired of answering "I'm fine" and people are gonna have all these dumbass fucking theories about why I killed myself, and half of them are not going to be able to think past the addictions I developed, and all of the fucks who will feel entitled to speak at my funeral are going to defend their own egoes

Reading my mind right there. At this point I think we should just disregard these people and their pathetic ungrounded opinions. But it's not easy to do so if you're a naturally sensitive person so we're doomed

This life is such a lie, a facade. We see right through it and we want validation, connection, love and understanding, but we cannot have it. All we get is what you describe - ignorance, misunderstanding, rejection and ostracization.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

Reading my mind right there. At this point I think we should just disregard these people and their pathetic ungrounded opinions. But it's not easy to do so if you're a naturally sensitive person so we're doomed

This life is such a lie, a facade. We see right through it and we want validation, connection, love and understanding, but we cannot have it. All we get is what you describe - ignorance, misunderstanding, rejection and ostracization.

I can't even say that others are abusing because they want to, so they must be like us and think they're doing the right thing and have put in their emotional labour and have a decent understanding, and surely they've figured out some things because they can work jobs and run hobby clubs and businesses and countries.

But I mean, this all suggests that those are things I was not aware of as a child, like I could see back then the path to success just as clearly as I could see that for some reason I lacked "self control" [that's how I understood it as a kid]

So they're suggesting that I just don't know the things they know, but that's obviously not it. It's not that I don't know how to work a shitty job and slowly accumulate the things that constitute a life. How utterly condescending. It's that I was psychologically incapable of making those decisions due to chronic invalidation and the trauma that produced as well as living with undiagnosed ADHD, depression, and eventually Borderline Personality Disorder, the latter of which I developed due to the treatment I was handed by the people who then turn around and imply that they somehow know better than me.

Lol. Yeah it's all such a gross facade! My oh my it's absurd

 

[etherealspring]

ill just lie or not talk about how i rlly feel. i dont want to be met with false sympathy

 

[Linda]

I ignore them. I don't live my life to gain the approval of others, and I never have done. I live it in the way that seems right to me.

 

[rozeske]

Fuck 'em

Sounds about right. Why do I even need to be concerned about changing their opinion and making them understand when that's never to go in my favour. My life. My reasons. My approval. That's enough for me.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I cope by agreeing with them and using their demonization of me as further fuel to need to ctb. Why yes I am aware of how much my friends and family would suffer and yet I would still go through with it! Doesn't that make me evil enough to deserve being dead?

 

[Alltheywanted]

Just don't talk to them about it, and if they start this topic - don't debate, just listen. I don't mind them saying stupid things like "suicide is for weak people" or "people who choose suicide don't care about their families". Words are just words. Also there is literally no point trying to change their minds.

 

[FuneralCry]

I find anything anti-suicide to be repulsive and deeply insensitive, I cannot stand anything against the right to die, it just disgusts me how there are so many who believe the suffering of others must be prolonged no matter what even know it's all meaningless anyway with nobody being able to be harmed by not existing, a fate we are all destined for anyway.

It's just unacceptable the way they act to me as suicide is a human right not something to oppose, suicide is a very valid personal decision that's up to the individual and we are the only ones experiencing our existence after all and not others. It's truly so horrible how there's no acceptance towards the fact that not everyone sees the futile and torturous burden of existing as a human as something desirable. I don't want to suffer in any way and in existence there is endless potential to suffer, I only wish for non-existence and I'd always prefer to not exist no matter what, for me existence itself is the true problem.

 

[AmericanMary]

I just shut up and hold my opinions in. This website it the ONLY place I can talk freely without being scared I'll end up in the psych ward.

That girl who was 27/28 who just went through assisted suicide with her parents consent came up as a work topic. I mentioned being pro choice & was told I was a "psychotic murderer"

 

[Time4Peace]

People live for survival, benefits and pleasure and hurt in any kind of ways and call it that's just life or an improvement etc. Opinion of no consequence at all and ambition that makes them look pretty ugly.

 

[willitpass]

I don't talk about it. I don't have the energy to argue, nor do I want to slip up and make people believe I'm a psychotic killer who wants people to die. I don't want people to die, but I know I'm not the only person suffering this immensely and so it's not my right to tell other people they have to suffer this immensely if they say they don't want to. I'm a bit of a people pleaser at times, and to be seen in the light that people think pro-choice people are would kill me. I hate how they defame us as murders for simply struggling and acknowledging others struggle and something there is nothing that can help up.

As for myself, I keep my thoughts to myself for the most part. I don't want to hurt people with how fucked up my mind is, I know it upsets people to hear about it. I also don't ever want to be sectioned again, I simply refuse, so it's not safe to. All of it has to be in secrecy unfortunately. That's why I come here. To let my thoughts out into the world without repercussions.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I just ignore them and not bother with them. They aren't worth my time. Why should I care about what they have to say when they're just being irrational and emotional? They just argue without even thinking about it logically. I'd only be interested in what they have to say if they used even a modicum of logic in their arguments but they don't

 

[Abyssal]

Eh the same as I would otherwise. I'm not telling anyone so no consequences

 

[xinino]

The opinions of delusional people who are too weak to challenge societal and instinctual views on life and death don't mean anything to me so I don't need to "cope"

You can't challenge society by killing yourself

I cope by agreeing with them and using their demonization of me as further fuel to need to ctb. Why yes I am aware of how much my friends and family would suffer and yet I would still go through with it! Doesn't that make me evil enough to deserve being dead?

"To choose evil is to choose freedom-"freedom, emancipation from all restraint."

there is literally no point trying to change their minds

The point is not changing their mind but justify your stance at least to yourself which is clearly not by being silent.

 

[Rainking]

The short answer is that I just avoid those conversations. However, I have a strong desire to speak up when I hear something on this topic that I don't like so I don't always avoid them. For example, I can't NOT say something when people call somebody who has ctb "weak" or "immoral".. To cope with that I try to look at it from their perspective to understand their opinion. I think the idea that suicide is a personal, REASONABLE position is just so foreign to most people that they can't begin to grasp it. I feel like they see it the way I would consider somebody that wanted to cut off their arms for no reason. That would seem like such a strange concept to me that it would take a lot of convincing to get me to understand. Of course, in large part because of my life experience with being suicidal I would TRY to understand. However most people don't have that frame of reference so they aren't willing, or sometimes capable of trying to understand. Also, if it is somebody who loves you, they don't want to even consider you not being around anymore. So I can understand why a person who loves me, who has never been suicidal would have issues with my desire to ctb. I can see why it would be a very difficult concept for them to understand or respect. My coping is in accepting them as they are just as I wish they would accept me as I am.

 

[xinino]

Mostly because they're just being irrational, not willing to consider arguments or literally not capable of understanding them

Some educated and sophisticated people are also against it and present arguments, so how do we handle the disagreement? Seems to me you just can't make any compromise with hardcore pro lifers or religious folk

so we remain misunderstood and ostracized and without being able to be in control of our own life.

Suicide is irrational, I can convince them to accept the irrational so, I don't have problem with them cause I accumulated more knowledge than just mere abrahamic religion.