Help How do you bring yourself to do stuff?

[Nitlott]

Genuinely. Right now I'm really fucked in terms of school work, I have 3 (if we count this week, but I'll attend 2-3 lessons at BEST if there'll be some test I could easily do) weeks left for me to speedrun this 11 weeks term. Plus there's this training-exam I missed last week which they'll make me do at some point. But I can't bring myself to do anything really.
I can't get all these thoughts out of my head, I'm probably acting like a dick to others too. And I easily get pissed lately, still angry that my nosebleed didn't last today. Couple of days ago I got really angry that my scars still hadn't healed (it's been 1+ month already), so I wanted to slit every body part of mine. That would be nice, but I really can't afford doing that one, especially now.

I don't know what I'm going to do now, maybe I'll try to give myself a nosebleed in an hour. I've already had like, what, 6 if not more for the last 2-3 weeks. One time it was longer than usual that I started to pass out and hallucinate or something. That was nice, there was a ringing in my ears also, though it got quieter with time.
Guess I'll try to cram chemistry for that big test I missed, that would be something better education-wise than getting nosebleeds at least.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm struggling too- to be honest. Not school but, work and domestic chores.

Does the prospect of failure worry you? That tended to motivate me. I find if I contemplate that the consequences will be worse- companies will be angry if I miss a deadline or do a bad job. I may lose future jobs. Parents will be angry if I can't support myself. Sometimes- it's just going for the lesser of the evils I think.