how do u feel abt ctbing?

[atlanticus0_0]

im going to try to ctb today via fentanyl. i feel excited, sick, and really really really scared. how do u feel abt ctbing?

 

[c4di]

im probably hanging myself in a few days, im scared too and i feel really bad about it, but i have to do it anyway

 

[FuneralCry]

If I had the option to just peacefully cease existing and never suffer again I'd feel so relieved, for me only non-existence could ever be positive, only in non-existence will I be at peace from this torturous, futile existence that just causes suffering, for me ceasing to exist would be the relief as if I'm gone then I'll be unconscious for all eternity and I cannot suffer in any way and I suffer simply from existing, I just want peace from it all, for me existence just feels like a mistake and I find it so horrible how a human can be tortured in this existence for decades longer just to die in agony from old age, I really would never wish for the abomination of existence.

 

[Mooncry]

Scared. Depressed. Like a small part of me doesn't want to, but I have to anyway. I don't think anyone is truly excited or looking forward to death, but everyone looks forward to no longer having to deal with the bullshit of life. That's how I feel.

 

[Chemi]

The time leading up to an attempt is always a very confusing time.

A total mix of excitement and almost tranquility from knowing i will be free on one side.

Lots anxiety and doubt on the other hand. Will it work? Am i truly ready? What will fam & friends think? What comes after? Though those thoughts will become less and less the closer i get to my ctb.

I think doubt and anxiety are overall a good thing. It is in the end a major decision somebody makes and it takes time to truly feel ready and be aware of the consequences.

Once i am ready and the day has come, you can kinda compare it to the excitement before going on a new rollercoaster. You are so excited for the ride but still nervous on how it will be.

What ever you do, i wish you a wonderful ride and i hope you will find what you are searching for, whatever it might be.

 

[Crow_88]

The way to escape this misery

 

[ScholarOfDespair]

The only path left for me.

 

[kunikuzushi]

Scared as hell. Everything I ever was will just disappear. It feels like all my suffering was for nothing. I'm scared I'll regret it after I take the final step, even though it logically makes sense to end my suffering.

I hope everything works out for you. I'm so sorry you're scared too. And I wish you peace.

 

[peewee]

scared. anxious. like its the only true option. maybe somewhat releif. mostly sad. I will wonder what the person i love that abandoned and put me in a terrible situation will think when they find out. i will be sad i will never get to see them again, but also i wouldnt see them again anyway.i will try and think i am not alone and sasu is with me in spirit. and also that this is the final hurdle, then peace. total peace and freedom from suffering

 

[PI3.14]

Numb.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I feel excited to be soon going into my Death = Non-existence forever

I'm not scared of Death = never existing again

I do fear life and living, and remaining alive or a suicide attempt failing and me remaining alive with even more damage

I will surpass every alive human as i go into Non-existence forever to infinity and beyond never existing again. the alive beings can suffer extremely but i can't if don't exist for all time

visualize the most beautiful thing you can . Eternal Non-existence is a trillion times better more beautiful . because Permanent Non-existence is the only guarantee of never suffering so badly the suffering is trillion times worse than the worst you can imagine. because it's the escape from this hell for all time, it's the opposite of hell which is life and this Earth, it's the oppossite of the worst pain the most extreme torture that can only happen in life. Permanent Non-existence is the most perfect thing because it is everything this hell isn't . who would be afraid to leave hell = life ? who would be afraid of Non-existence for all time ? not me

 

[LakeMungoGirl]

im going to try to ctb today via fentanyl. i feel excited, sick, and really really really scared. how do u feel abt ctbing?

I'm extremely scared.

 

[Forveleth]

Comforted to know it will be the end to the bullshit that is my existence.

 

[dearlydeparted44]

I feel relief. I feel calm. It's my time and I'm ready. Sure, there's a part of me that's scared. However, the thought of escaping this hellscape outweighs my human fear for the unknown. I've made peace with death, and it feels wonderful.

 

[lawlietsph]

i'm really scared but the pain is so unbearable and i am so tired, there is no other way to rest my soul

 

[hmnow]

That it will be soon