How do I increase my chances of death?

[The.End]

How do I increase my chances of (accidental) death in everyday life. I really want to die but suicide would effect my family in a very bad way. An accidental death on the other hand would be a lot easy for them to accept, they would more or less consider an act of god.

I don't have many resources, like a vehicle or the ability to start a new dangerous sport or hobby like sky-diving. what I do have going for me is, I live in a very dangerous city in a 3rd world country. Life is very cheap here and lots of people get killed here everyday. This place is hell and its exactly where I belong.

I yearn for death, its the first thing I think about when I wake up and its the last thing I think about before I sleep.

I feel like blowing my brains out right now, as I type this, but every time I put the barrel in my mouth, all I can think about is how bad my family would take my suicide. and if i'm being completely honest, I don't want to be remembered as that guy that couldn't handle life and committed suicide. I know that is a very vain way to think but I can't help myself, i'm only human.

I really don't want to wake up tomorrow and do this all over again. I wish somebody could wake me up from this very long and detailed dream/nightmare called life.

 

[DreamCatcher]

Humans are actually remarkably resilient, it's hard to die accidentally.

If you're serious you should go over the methods on this forum and pick one. Something like a CO method or shallow water blackout method might be the least apparent as a suicide and might easily seem accidental. I'd suggest searching the forum for specifics, it's all here.

Good luck on finding some peace.

 

[dark_thoughts]

ODing on something like Fentanyl or heroin would always leave them wondering. Also hiking in an area where there are really high cliffs will have them think it may have been accidental perhaps.

 

[Laststop]

I was a soldier. A combat one. For most of the time since I left I was cautious of anything that looked remotely threatening. But since I've been wanting to CTB, when something comes up I'm like, "OK, let this guy kill me." Like tonight. I sold something through a local listing online, and met a guy in a parking lot after most of the places were closed to make the transaction. In the past there was no way in hell I would do that without being armed. I mean, concealed...but still armed. I went out completely weaponless tonight. If the guy tried to rob me I would have kicked his ass so bad he would of had to use a weapon if he had it. I too would like to go, and have it look like...not something I did to myself. It seems really hard to do. we've had a couple suicides in our family. One member just didn't want to believe them. One OD, and another where he shot himself with a rifle. This person just struggled to find a way to believe they were no intentional. But everyone knew they were, and this person was the lone exception. I figure if I put a gun in my mouth everyone is going to know, and there's just nothing I can do about it. I've always been a loner, and a lot of the time, a loser. I don't think people will be surprised. After the initial shock wears off.

 

[LivingToLong]

@Laststop There are times when I read a post on here and it reminds me of just how little I know about the world, how naive I am and how protected and privileged I am. Your post was one of those posts. I am (to use the American word) a pussy. I can't imagine what it is like to be a combat soldier, or what it is like to point and shoot a gun - or even own a gun. I have never been in a real fight. There are no tragedies in my family, there are no secrets nor hardships (beyond what is to be expected) I sometimes feel that I have no justification for wanting to die.

I come on to this forum to read other peoples stories and to share, when and where appropriate, my own. Sometimes the stories people tell hit me hard. Sometimes they tell me that I should shut up and listen to people who have experience, people who know.

Yet I see that one of the things the stories often share is the desire to CTB. It makes me ask myself why so many people, from such differing worlds and with such differing experiences, should want to end their lives. Are some people just wired that way?

 

[riverstyx]

You could just think creatively about it I guess. It wouldn't be hard to get into an "accident".

How about sky diving? Some times the parachutet doesn't deploy correctly. You could even sabotage your own gear before jumping.

People get run over by cars, trucks and buses all the time. You could make it look accidental.

Drowning is another method. People also drown all the time.

 

[Roger]

How about sky diving? Some times the parachutet doesn't deploy correctly. You could even sabotage your own gear before jumping.

A friend of mine died in a parachuting accident (?) over 40 years ago. He had packed his own parachute incorrectly in a manner considered inexplicable by the Board of Enquiry, and did not deploy his reserve during his final jump.

He was a recovering alcoholic and was having marital problems, so there was, and is, a significant element of doubt as to whether he did it deliberately.

I attended his funeral.

 

[GeorgeJL]

Humans are actually remarkably resilient, it's hard to die accidentally.

That is what I told my alcoholic brother because of comments like this on the forum and now he's dead at the age of 35. He wanted to live he wasn't suicidal.

 

[LivingToLong]

How you got to where you are is as unique as you are. Any reasons anyone else has is unique to them.

I guess that's the moral of all of our diverse stories.