How do I get the energy to die?

[AfriQuark]

My biggest problem is that I never get the energy or the feeling to carry out my plans. I want to kill myself, and I will have extremely detailed and vivid thoughts about it for hours on end. But once I'm home, I'm just alone on the computer, not doing anything. I suppose that's maybe my biggest hurdle, most efforts take too much planning and effort. Like for hanging, I need to get a belt or rope, I need to find a spot that can take my weight, then wrap...I'm too lazy to even bother. How do I push past that laziness?

Jumping from a high point means getting to the high point and then jumping down. Maybe if I get drunk, I can remove enough inhibitions. But I don't drink, and so I need to put in the effort to buy alcohol. So, like I'm too lazy to kill myself, and I am angry about that. Or maybe I'm just too depressed. Or just not depressed enough. I just need a solution to my problem.

 

[yaa]

I wish there was a peaceful way for u to go out ... U shouldn't have to harm yourself to be free from this place I don't have any good advice when it comes to stuff like this but perhaps there's better methods to leave that'll be quick an less painful

 

[alicia8bell]

Oh myy, yes i think the exactly same... everything requires so much work and research, it is so hard... i really want to die by drowning but going to the lake its such a big effort... i wish i could just wake up gone