Help How do I get over things that still affect me

[decayofangels]

I live/lived in a household that wasn't the best when i grew up. I pushed a lot to the side as things that don't affect my mental health, however they've stayed so heavily in my head that I need to try and get it out to see if it helps.
My parents never loved eachother growing up, and there were 2 times I wished I could've helped and I know I couldn't because I was fairly young, but I feel guilty about it. One time, when I was younger I remember my parents getting into a really bad fight, and my dad hit my mom and she fell and hit her head against the bathroom floor. I remember sitting there crying, doing nothing about anything. I wish I couldve done something.
I know neither of my parents are good people, but I feel guilty for doing nothing.
Is it my fault, and does this really affect my mental health to this day? I don't know if it does or not but I don't think so, however more opinions are better.
I genuinely need answers as to if this might affect me at all.

 

[23421]

first off: you will never "get over" things that happened to you, at least in the regular sense of the word. this is not how trauma works. you can adjust the (self) destructive behavioral patterns that this trauma has forced you into, if you have any, for which you need to either seek out therapy or do a lot of self reflection. a proper therapist can guide you through this process and give you a deepened sense of self awareness. i found it to be a worthwhile experience as i now have a more profound understanding of why i do/believe in certain things.

secondly, nobody can tell you what affected you and what didn't. some people manage to function, fit in and be "happy" just fine without unearthing trauma that happened to them during their formative years. i know of many such people. you may or may not be one of them. but if you feel that there might be something up with your mind, or memory, or if your behavior/decision making is affected, it's always worth it to either get checked or, as i said, do some self reflection and reading.

it will take time. and if you decide to go on this path, try to get all of your information from trusted sources and not bs pop psychology people spread online. good luck!