Venting How do I find motivation?

[catbunny]

I've been thinking a lot lately about my life, and I feel really lost. I don't know why I'm studying this major or what I want to do in the future anymore. Like I have a final exam tomorrow, but I can't bring myself to study at all. I feel like I have no motivation, and everything I'm doing doesn't make sense to me.

I'm also working, and it just adds more pressure. I used to think I knew what I wanted, but now I don't. I don't even know if this major will help me in the future, especially since I don't have the chance to go abroad or use the language much.

I feel really lonely, and I think that might be part of why I don't have the energy to try anymore. I want to find something to look forward to, something that makes me want to keep going, but right now, I don't have that. I don't know what to do next, and that scares me.

I just know that if I keep being like this, I will ruin everything, myself, my future, my life, my relationships. But at the end of the day, does it really matter? I will die one day, arent I?

 

[pinapellicer]

I feel you, the future is very uncertain. Doing a degree implies thinking that it will be a tool for you in the future, but what happens when you no longer believe it's gonna be of help?
I'm lonely too, and i don't i'll stop being lonely ever. There's nothing exciting about the fact that the only future i can imagine is one where i'm alone.
Maybe if i start pretending like i'm hopeful again, that could be the start of recovery. You could try that.

 

[catbunny]

I feel you, the future is very uncertain. Doing a degree implies thinking that it will be a tool for you in the future, but what happens when you no longer believe it's gonna be of help?
I'm lonely too, and i don't i'll stop being lonely ever. There's nothing exciting about the fact that the only future i can imagine is one where i'm alone.
Maybe if i start pretending like i'm hopeful again, that could be the start of recovery. You could try that.

I've been thinking of pretending a lot. I tried to tell myself that everyday. But the more I tried, the more I fell apart. To the point where I'm so broken that I can't even tell if I' feeling this or I'm just pretending.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It is hard to keep focussed when you don't know whether what you're putting effort into will yield results. Whether what you're aiming for will even make you happy.

I suppose things I used to/ still use to try to motivate myself are to contemplate what may happen if I don't put the effort in and if I fail. Maybe what I want isn't as inspirational as it was. Maybe it won't make me happy but then- I tend to think failing all together will very likely make me feel worse.

For me- it's fear of having to return to something like a retail job- which I detested in the past. That pretty much frightens me into still trying to maintain what I have- even if my heart has gone out of it.

It also somewhat depends on how long you think you may have to stay alive for. If CTB isn't an immediate certainty- it's whether you can tolerate life (likely) nose diving first or, whether it's more tolerable to just tread water as best as you can manage for a while.

Personally, I've let things go too much. To the extent that my fitness is terrible, my living environment is terrible. I still need to work and everything ahead feels so much harder because I don't have the strength to face it. Now, I'm faced with needing to grasp some of it back and it's feeling horrendous to be honest.

I suppose basically- it's about considering the greater good. I think life is so much about dealing with things we don't want to in the moment- to avoid everything just getting worse later on.

It's probably why death is so appealing to so many of us here too. That it removes that later on bit to worry about.

 

[catbunny]

It is hard to keep focussed when you don't know whether what you're putting effort into will yield results. Whether what you're aiming for will even make you happy.

I suppose things I used to/ still use to try to motivate myself are to contemplate what may happen if I don't put the effort in and if I fail. Maybe what I want isn't as inspirational as it was. Maybe it won't make me happy but then- I tend to think failing all together will very likely make me feel worse.

For me- it's fear of having to return to something like a retail job- which I detested in the past. That pretty much frightens me into still trying to maintain what I have- even if my heart has gone out of it.

It also somewhat depends on how long you think you may have to stay alive for. If CTB isn't an immediate certainty- it's whether you can tolerate life (likely) nose diving first or, whether it's more tolerable to just tread water as best as you can manage for a while.

Personally, I've let things go too much. To the extent that my fitness is terrible, my living environment is terrible. I still need to work and everything ahead feels so much harder because I don't have the strength to face it. Now, I'm faced with needing to grasp some of it back and it's feeling horrendous to be honest.

I suppose basically- it's about considering the greater good. I think life is so much about dealing with things we don't want to in the moment- to avoid everything just getting worse later on.

It's probably why death is so appealing to so many of us here too. That it removes that later on bit to worry about.

After reading this, I feel like you just reminded me of something that I forgot. Now I want to cry.

 

[Forever Sleep]

After reading this, I feel like you just reminded me of something that I forgot. Now I want to cry.

Oh, I'm sorry. The last thing I want or intend to do is make people here feel worse.

 

[etherealgoddess]

I've been thinking a lot lately about my life, and I feel really lost. I don't know why I'm studying this major or what I want to do in the future anymore. Like I have a final exam tomorrow, but I can't bring myself to study at all. I feel like I have no motivation, and everything I'm doing doesn't make sense to me.

I'm also working, and it just adds more pressure. I used to think I knew what I wanted, but now I don't. I don't even know if this major will help me in the future, especially since I don't have the chance to go abroad or use the language much.

I feel really lonely, and I think that might be part of why I don't have the energy to try anymore. I want to find something to look forward to, something that makes me want to keep going, but right now, I don't have that. I don't know what to do next, and that scares me.

I just know that if I keep being like this, I will ruin everything, myself, my future, my life, my relationships. But at the end of the day, does it really matter? I will die one day, arent I?

It's all related to emotional memories being trapped and suppressed in the subconscious. Try somatic experiencing. Do not let go of this major because if you let go, I guarantee you will be running from this void forever. I know people like this who feel chronically empty and jump from job to job because they think that the void will magically disappear. You will just end up losing all of your progress. Meaning is already in the moment. It isn't in anything material besides the Maslow's hierarchy of needs. You won't satisfy that empty void with material things or a new job. It will come from inner love and expressing everything that has never been expressed.