Help How do I cope with constant survival mode, being too drained to do anything I don't have to do and never being able to just fall asleep?

[FutureHanger]

I just spend every day mindlessly scrolling not even because I have nothing better to do but I just can't be bothered, a few days ago I tried getting back into anime but after the first 2 minutes I just got so frustrated and was like "I can't be bothered" then went back to being on my phone as I couldn't even enjoy watching anime like I used to. I can't fall asleep no matter how physically tired I am without deliberately frying my brain by scrolling on my phone at night until eventually the brightness of my phone makes me tired enough or else my thoughts will always keep me too on edge to fall asleep. I don't even have hobbies anymore, I just do things to distract myself and pass the time whenever I don't have anything I have to do.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Uninstall the media you are scrolling through. I used to consume news a lot one time and it had to stop, same with twitter.
For falling asleep when I was extremely stressed I had to take a shower before bed and CBD oil. Breathing exercise also helps.

 

[scared:bug]

passing time. passing time. passing time. i understand the feeling. this type of experience annoys me very much. It is like layers are hidden under grime and dirt. Knowing i cant access these layers because of stress and what not. feeling shitty feeling bad tense in the body. i cant open my jaw properly anymore because i keep clenching and being tense. "just relax" does not work. i dont know how. i dont think i feel safe enough to relax. i am paranoid and i feel like there is a threat. i think of the future and try to plan every little step. i cant excecute the plans because i have no energy. i fail and i blame myself. i dont want to talk to anyone. i dont want to do anything. i feel very guilty for not doing anything. blabla. its exhausting. . . i think, in order to feel safe, you have to let go into the unknown. . . be ok with the unknown. . . ruminating over past and future is a sign of not feeling safe - need to control.

one thing that i think is nice is stuff like this type of self massage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnV3Q2xIb1U&pp=ygUTdmFndXMgbmVydmUgbWFzc2FnZQ

walking slowly. doing things slowly. this can be nice. look up to the sky. being in nature helps although, it is very very cold where i am right now. i have to wait a little bit, until i can go into the forest and sit on the ground and look at the ants and the rocks and the trees. but yes, walking slowly. i think maybe this makes body feel safe. like there is no rush.

i take melatonin every single night at a specific time. i have autism and this makes it hard to wind down at night. i use a sleep mask. listen to audio book. i have struggled with sleep my whole life. this routine has helped me.
mornings are the hardest for me. just on my phone. cat helps - i have to feed him, so i get up. i feel like crap in the mornings. i wish i knew, what could help.

no news because it makes me upset.
i barely listen to music anymore. other than stuff like this:
.
I dont know, if this is a symptom. but music with all types of lyrics about all the stuff makes me upset and i dont like being upset.

being your own friend. practice kindness towards self.

 

[Ovid]

The messages above are great suggestions!! Definitely try to limit the time spent doomscrolling. I have the same issue as you, my addiction to scrolling has lowered my attention span to the point where my hobbies of reading and even playing long-form video games are very hard for me. I will be trying to limit my time on my phone and I encourage you to do so as well.

 

[wait.what]

I take Ashwaghanda for chronic tension. It's not exactly a sedative, so you can take it in the morning without getting groggy.

 

[RoseQuarts]

Make sure you're drinking enough water and eating enough food. Put your phone away an hour before bed. If you're looking to increase your work quota, slowly increase it. Also, I recommend cutting negative people out of your life. Life is too damn short to be so negative. Life is also too short to spend time thinking about these people. Wish ya luck.

 

[Valky]

I used to be the same for a very long time and still fall back into that pattern every now and then (just like today, ahem).
For me personally it has a lot to do with motivation and energy. It is obvious that you will not sleep well if your body is constantly in that low energy mode. It's too low to get out of bed but too high to sleep. You need to higher it during that day so that it can be low enough for sleeping.

Medication helped me personally a lot with it but also trying to implement habits into my every day life, especially for sleeping, to signal the body that it is time to rest. It can be simple stuff at first, just getting up to brush your teeth, comb your hair, maybe stand outside for 5 minutes, etc. Just gradually increasing it and adding more things. Take all the time you need and remember that it is okay and normal to have "bad days" where you do fall back into that old habit. Every day survived is a success, just remember to keep going and try to limit those days you don't do anything besides doom scrolling, even if you don't want to. It takes time and a lot of effort but I believe in you. Just getting ready even for no reason at all is a huge energy booster for me!!

And for sleeping: set a time you would like to go to bed and start your "sleeping ritual" according to what you want to do. It is advised to remove all screens around 1 hour before going to bed but I know how hard and frustrating that can be. Brush your teeth, wash your face, put on your pyjamas, maybe shower, etc. after time your body will realise that that means that it is now time to wind down and get ready for sleep.

Let me know if you need more advice, I should really get out of bed now, haha, best of luck, you got this!! <3
Oh, and people on social media often refer to that survival mode as "freeze mode/response". Here is an article about signs that you are stuck in one and tips to "end" that mode.

10 Signs You are Shutdown in Freeze Mode — Our Created Lives Counseling

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And general information!

Understanding Depression and Anxiety as a Fight-Flight-Freeze Response

by The Mind Faculty Depression and anxiety, two of the most common mental health challenges that Malaysians face, are often conceptualised as a character flaw or a moral weakness. This underlies much of the stigma surrounding mental health, and prevents people from reaching out for help. They...

www.themindfaculty.com