How Did You Find Yourself?

[black.over.green]

Hi. Could you please share how you found yourself — how you discovered the work or path that truly feels like yours? How did you search for it, how did you recognize it as your place, and how long were you searching?

 

[timf]

I liked solving puzzles. I suppose that "itch" could have been remedied by being a medical doctor, car repair mechanic, or even a plumber. However, I found electronics to be satisfying.

 

[black.over.green]

I liked solving puzzles. I suppose that "itch" could have been remedied by being a medical doctor, car repair mechanic, or even a plumber. However, I found electronics to be satisfying.

thank you. are you most fascinated by the moment when "the puzzle is finally solved" and the circuit starts working?

may I ask how many years it took you to get there?at what point did you realize it was electronics for you? were there any "wrong turns" before that? do you work with electronics now?

 

[timf]

I took a couple of wrong turns. I think it was only after the fact that I realized that it was puzzle solving that was a key motivator.

It would seem that you could know yourself so well that what will provide job satisfaction is obvious or you could try different things until you find something that "fits" are the two approaches.

The process of troubleshooting is one that involves an analysis, an assessment of likelihood to prioritize possibilities, and conducting experiments to see if a problem can be specifically identified and corrected. Electronics is better than medicine because if you guess wrong, people generally do not die.

 

[black.over.green]

I took a couple of wrong turns. I think it was only after the fact that I realized that it was puzzle solving that was a key motivator.

It would seem that you could know yourself so well that what will provide job satisfaction is obvious or you could try different things until you find something that "fits" are the two approaches.

The process of troubleshooting is one that involves an analysis, an assessment of likelihood to prioritize possibilities, and conducting experiments to see if a problem can be specifically identified and corrected. Electronics is better than medicine because if you guess wrong, people generally do not die.

i'm really glad you found your place. thank you for sharing, that was a great analysis. i'm sure you're a great specialist. it's such an important thing in life.

thank you for taking the time to reply — you were the only one who did.

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

Behind the dumpster at Wendy's with a meth pipe.

 

[black.over.green]

Behind the dumpster at Wendy's with a meth pipe.

well, wendy's dumpsters are the premium ones, after all.

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

well, wendy's dumpsters are the premium ones, after all.

I just had to be a smartass.:)

In all seriousness, Wendy's was the first job I got when I was discharged from the hospital after I singlehandedly destroyed a career I loved. Almost everyone there was either using, in recovery, on probation or on parole. Getting to know them, learning to love a totally different type of work, and surviving something (loss of my livelihood) that I previously thought unsurvivable...that was a turning point for me.

 

[black.over.green]

I just had to be a smartass.:)

In all seriousness, Wendy's was the first job I got when I was discharged from the hospital after I singlehandedly destroyed a career I loved. Almost everyone there was either using, in recovery, on probation or on parole. Getting to know them, learning to love a totally different type of work, and surviving something (loss of my livelihood) that I previously thought unsurvivable...that was a turning point for me.

that sounds like a huge shift in your life.

if you don't mind me asking — what was the career you lost, what did you learn there about who you are, and how did that shape the life you have now?

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

that sounds like a huge shift in your life.

if you don't mind me asking — what was the career you lost, what did you learn there about who you are, and how did that shape the life you have now?

To make a long story short, I was a float caregiver for a nonprofit that ran group homes. I was involved in a serious med error that left me traumatized and I didn't get adequate treatment for it. Almost six months later to the day, I had a psychotic episode in which I threatened a coworker and got fired. I was living alone with no other source of income and obviously, few chances for further employment with that kind of reference.

I responded to my firing by calling my local crisis hotline and telling them that I had planned a mass shooting. Got hospitalized. Got discharged. Now what. I just applied for any and every job to keep afloat and lo and behold. Wendy's hired me. It didn't matter if I sucked at it or I hated it, I knew from the beginning that this was the start of my new life if I kept going at it. And I ended up loving it. I learned from late nights working grill and washing dishes that anything is doable with the right music, the right people and the right snacks. When I worked in drive thru, I learned to take charge and that I actually was likeable. Things like that. And over time, the grief over the loss of my job faded. I realized I could things I had never imagined and that you learn tons of new things in unexpected ways. Working with people in recovery and in the criminal justice system showed me that my "serious offenses" were actually pretty minor and if they could come back, so could I.

Once I felt my sense of being capable and being whole came back, I started branching out. Retail. Job coaching. Detox/rehab. And now I work in homeless services where it's pretty much one-stop shopping for every social issue I have ever cared about. I'm making more money than ever and my opinion is valued. And I have a deep sense that things will continue to get better for me, just like they did all those years ago.

 

[black.over.green]

To make a long story short, I was a float caregiver for a nonprofit that ran group homes. I was involved in a serious med error that left me traumatized and I didn't get adequate treatment for it. Almost six months later to the day, I had a psychotic episode in which I threatened a coworker and got fired. I was living alone with no other source of income and obviously, few chances for further employment with that kind of reference.

I responded to my firing by calling my local crisis hotline and telling them that I had planned a mass shooting. Got hospitalized. Got discharged. Now what. I just applied for any and every job to keep afloat and lo and behold. Wendy's hired me. It didn't matter if I sucked at it or I hated it, I knew from the beginning that this was the start of my new life if I kept going at it. And I ended up loving it. I learned from late nights working grill and washing dishes that anything is doable with the right music, the right people and the right snacks. When I worked in drive thru, I learned to take charge and that I actually was likeable. Things like that. And over time, the grief over the loss of my job faded. I realized I could things I had never imagined and that you learn tons of new things in unexpected ways. Working with people in recovery and in the criminal justice system showed me that my "serious offenses" were actually pretty minor and if they could come back, so could I.

Once I felt my sense of being capable and being whole came back, I started branching out. Retail. Job coaching. Detox/rehab. And now I work in homeless services where it's pretty much one-stop shopping for every social issue I have ever cared about. I'm making more money than ever and my opinion is valued. And I have a deep sense that things will continue to get better for me, just like they did all those years ago.

it must have taken a lot of courage and strength to keep going to give life another chance even when you were at the very bottom. and most of all, to reflect on everything you went through and find meaning and significance in it.

that's the true path of a living, conscious human being.

i'm really glad you were able to reach where you are now. it's brave and worthy. thank you for sharing your story.

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

it must have taken a lot of courage and strength to keep going to give life another chance even when you were at the very bottom. and most of all, to reflect on everything you went through and find meaning and significance in it.

that's the true path of a living, conscious human being.

i'm really glad you were able to reach where you are now. it's brave and worthy. thank you for sharing your story.

Thank you. I've been wanting to write a book about it but I have permanent writer's block.

How about you?

 

[black.over.green]

Thank you. I've been wanting to write a book about it but I have permanent writer's block.

How about you?

if you ever write that book, it will matter deeply. i mean that seriously.

there's so much noise and pretence on the shelves, but not enough real stories about people who face this life, face themselves, and still reach for something true and human.

as for me… i've been searching for myself for many years. i've changed countless jobs, that's been the main struggle of my life.
i can't seem to find my place.

if I knew what my true purpose was, i'd build it from the ground up. i want to have a place of my own. i want to be someone.

but after so many years of trying different things, i still haven't found it, and that wears me down. that's why this question matters so much to me.

when someone manages to find, become, or create themselves, it gives me hope that maybe one day i will too. and that maybe, finally, i'll feel alive.

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

if you ever write that book, it will matter deeply. i mean that seriously.

there's so much noise and pretence on the shelves, but not enough real stories about people who face this life, face themselves, and still reach for something true and human.

as for me… i've been searching for myself for many years. i've changed countless jobs, that's been the main struggle of my life.
i can't seem to find my place.

if I knew what my true purpose was, i'd build it from the ground up. i want to have a place of my own. i want to be someone.

but after so many years of trying different things, i still haven't found it, and that wears me down. that's why this question matters so much to me.

when someone manages to find, become, or create themselves, it gives me hope that maybe one day i will too. and that maybe, finally, i'll feel alive.

Maybe you're meant for a job that doesn't exist yet. Have you ever wondered if there were natural born computer programmers who never got to code because they were born in the 1800s? Who managed to somehow lay the groundwork for what we have today? Or maybe your purpose isn't a job at all, but a life of study or charity or cultivating virtue. Maybe it's who you inspire.

You can PM me anytime you want. I can't promise miraculous answers but I've definitely learned a few things.

 

[black.over.green]

Maybe you're meant for a job that doesn't exist yet. Have you ever wondered if there were natural born computer programmers who never got to code because they were born in the 1800s? Who managed to somehow lay the groundwork for what we have today? Or maybe your purpose isn't a job at all, but a life of study or charity or cultivating virtue. Maybe it's who you inspire.

You can PM me anytime you want. I can't promise miraculous answers but I've definitely learned a few things.

thank you for your message. and yes, you're right, i often think about that. maybe the place where i'd truly feel at home just doesn't exist yet.

i also think about professions that only exist now, and about all the people who never lived to see the things they were meant for.

thank you again, i'd really like to talk more sometime.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

Listened to my body and when it was telling me if I was safe or not.

Planning a move and realizing how safe I'm going to feel in my new location has helped me find myself.

 

[black.over.green]

Listened to my body and when it was telling me if I was safe or not.

Planning a move and realizing how safe I'm going to feel in my new location has helped me find myself.

thank you. did you always know how to trust your body, or did you have to learn it over time?

and have you found your place to live, your sense of self, or maybe even your life's work?

 

[black.over.green]

Maybe you're meant for a job that doesn't exist yet. Have you ever wondered if there were natural born computer programmers who never got to code because they were born in the 1800s? Who managed to somehow lay the groundwork for what we have today? Or maybe your purpose isn't a job at all, but a life of study or charity or cultivating virtue. Maybe it's who you inspire.

You can PM me anytime you want. I can't promise miraculous answers but I've definitely learned a few things.

sorry, it seems i can't send private messages yet, i'm still a new member here

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

sorry, it seems i can't send private messages yet, i'm still a new member here

Check your messages

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

thank you. did you always know how to trust your body, or did you have to learn it over time?

and have you found your place to live, your sense of self, or maybe even your life's work?

I only learned about how to trust my body via EMDR and trauma therapy. I think we'd be a different kind of world if we thought about trauma and emotional regulation from youth and taught us how to understand trauma.

I haven't figure out about living, self or work. I'm pretty lost and in the worst patch of my life. I still work on experiencing joy, and often find it because while I don't imagine I'll have a long life, I'm determined to center it on joy.

I made a matcha with foamed milk and honey today - it was delightful. I got some sobering health news yesterday, but I still woke up today. Keeping going, somehow.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I always loved art. Then, during a difficult period in childhood, full of bullying, I became obsessed with it. I found I could simply lose myself in it for hours at a time. Ever since then, it became my coping mechanism/ my refuge. So- I obviously put everything I had into trying to pursue a career in it. It's served me so well. It pretty much saved me.

Of course- there are negatives. It's not a very stable industry to try and rely on. So- it's constantly under threat. It's taken pretty much all of my time. I've made next to no room for other interests or people. And- there's always a danger- putting all your eggs in one basket. For the past few years, my enthusiasm and sense of fulfilment has been slipping. Which pretty much leaves me with the same obligations but, less drive to do them.

 

[black.over.green]

I only learned about how to trust my body via EMDR and trauma therapy. I think we'd be a different kind of world if we thought about trauma and emotional regulation from youth and taught us how to understand trauma.

I haven't figure out about living, self or work. I'm pretty lost and in the worst patch of my life. I still work on experiencing joy, and often find it because while I don't imagine I'll have a long life, I'm determined to center it on joy.

I made a matcha with foamed milk and honey today - it was delightful. I got some sobering health news yesterday, but I still woke up today. Keeping going, somehow.

Thank you, really hope things get better for you soon

I always loved art. Then, during a difficult period in childhood, full of bullying, I became obsessed with it. I found I could simply lose myself in it for hours at a time. Ever since then, it became my coping mechanism/ my refuge. So- I obviously put everything I had into trying to pursue a career in it. It's served me so well. It pretty much saved me.

Of course- there are negatives. It's not a very stable industry to try and rely on. So- it's constantly under threat. It's taken pretty much all of my time. I've made next to no room for other interests or people. And- there's always a danger- putting all your eggs in one basket. For the past few years, my enthusiasm and sense of fulfilment has been slipping. Which pretty much leaves me with the same obligations but, less drive to do them.

sorry to hear that. do you have any ideas about what could help? what would you like to happen?

 

[14xblueberry]

"Finding myself" took/takes a lot of exploration.

There were a few stages. For "profession" or "work that gives meaning," I found that by happenstance. 5 years ago, a friend of mine invited me to hang out with some other friends who rented a cabin for a summer and made music. I said yes on a whim and ended up pirating FL Studio to see what producing music was all about. I fell in love with the craft of it and really understood that as my calling in life. I've been through a ton of ups and downs since then. Even when I was homeless, I was still making music on my laptop.

For finding my personality / how I carry myself, I honestly listened to one song about 5 months ago that I felt with my soul and it was a wrap. Disturbed has a song called "Ten Thousand Fists" that felt like a homecoming. I listened to that song and realized I need to get face piercings because I feel every word of that fucking song, and so I did. I feel a certain peace and freedom that the metal in my face gives me, and the pain was a thrill. I know I need at least two more, but it'll be a few more months while these ones recover.

 

[black.over.green]

"Finding myself" took/takes a lot of exploration.

There were a few stages. For "profession" or "work that gives meaning," I found that by happenstance. 5 years ago, a friend of mine invited me to hang out with some other friends who rented a cabin for a summer and made music. I said yes on a whim and ended up pirating FL Studio to see what producing music was all about. I fell in love with the craft of it and really understood that as my calling in life. I've been through a ton of ups and downs since then. Even when I was homeless, I was still making music on my laptop.

For finding my personality / how I carry myself, I honestly listened to one song about 5 months ago that I felt with my soul and it was a wrap. Disturbed has a song called "Ten Thousand Fists" that felt like a homecoming. I listened to that song and realized I need to get face piercings because I feel every word of that fucking song, and so I did. I feel a certain peace and freedom that the metal in my face gives me, and the pain was a thrill. I know I need at least two more, but it'll be a few more months while these ones recover.

Thanks for your message,
I'm really happy for you.