Discussion How did you feel knowing a fellow user successfully ctb?

[Embalmer]

Haven't really seen anyone talk about this so I'm genuinely curious, how did you all feel knowing that a member on here that you possibly saw or interacted with successfully ctb? I'm relatively new to the site but after seeing a user go from posting somewhat regularly to no longer being in this world I had conflicting feelings. Part of me was heartbroken, they seemed like such a sweet person even if I never interacted with them, and I wondered if perhaps they could have recovered and went on to live a happy normal life. But at the same time, I understood that this was their own decision on what they felt was best for themselves and knowing they would never suffer again put part of me at ease. It's weird, I came here with the full intention of ending my own life within the next year, but the thought of others also making that same decision saddens me as I wish everyone here the best. Sorry if this seems dumb but I would like to know others' experiences with this as it really gets me thinking.

 

[Source Energy]

Elated - they are no longer suffering, and there is hope for me if the method was sn

 

[FuneralCry]

I envy and admire those who have left this world, they are fortunate to be free from all suffering and harm, it really isn't sad that someone is gone, as to die solves all problems and there are no disadvantages to not existing. We are all destined to die anyway and to me dying on my own terms would be the best way to die. The only tragic thing is feeling trapped in this hellish world and to die is freedom from it.

 

[Forever Sleep]

A mixture of feelings. One particular member, I used to DM a fair bit and we became sort of friends from a distance. I was relieved for her when she went. Still- I miss her even now. That's the 'danger' of becoming attached to people on here- there's a very real possibility you will have to let them go at some point.

 

[loverfromhell]

ooh what a good question. honestly i get an extreme feeling of jealousy and envy. im happy for them and wish i was them lol

 

[Vizzy]

A mixture of feelings. One particular member, I used to DM a fair bit and we became sort of friends from a distance. I was relieved for her when she went. Still- I miss her even now. That's the 'danger' of becoming attached to people on here- there's a very real possibility you will have to let them go at some point.

May I know what method she used ?

 

[Worndown]

While there is some sadness and sense of loss at every death, we also feel unusually happy for them.

 

[unnormal9]

Fellow means friend; no. I do not know or could know or would even remember.

 

[Forever Sleep]

May I know what method she used ?

SN I believe.

 

[I wish I were a cat]

Jealous. Mainly just jealous.

 

[Linda]

I try to remain emotionally neutral and a bit detached. I can't function in this world if I allow my emotions to get too bound up with other peoples situations. There's a good side to it when someone ctbs, since they are now at peace. For people who ctb bcause they can't take this world any longer (as opposed to those who choose to go because their life is nearing its end anyway, and they prefer to take matters into their own hands), there is also a not so good side, since they couldn't find a reasonable level of peace any other way.

 

[depressedlover]

Of late i admire them because i long for my ctb time but still have some stuff to do.

 

[imissmykitten]

in these cases, i imagine it's good that their suffering is at least over, and i just hope they didn't suffer much depending on the method they used. i also feel sad about the fact that they went through this pain in the first place. i wish i could erase people problems, but it is of course not humanly possible.

 

[ringo99]

Happy that they found peace, sad for the people who'll miss them, a little envious because they had the courage to do what I keep putting off

 

[The anhedonic one]

I once had an online relationship with a suicidal person from another country.
We used Skype etc eventually and grew very fond of each other.
We also made a pact that we would warn each other in advance if we were getting ready to ctb.
That way it would be less of a shock for the other person.
Yet one day, just out of nowhere, I received a video from my friend.
It was her goodbye message.
Her method was N.
In her suicide note, she left instructions for her family to let me know she had passed away.
I received this message two weeks later.
I cried, and cried over her death.
But now I am happy that She had the courage to go and CTB, and also that She has finally found peace.

 

[Secrets1]

I'm numb to it for the most part. It's something that happens here. Occasionally a user will catch my eye from recognizing their story/plight that I'm drawn to. Ultimately I find myself happy for those people. I've made one friend from here & we've kept in touch for a few years. They are in a much better place now and in relation with a friendship that's stood a test of time, if CTB happened it'd hit me hard in a different, tough way I'm sure.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

For me it's a mixture of emotions but mainly it's jealousy and envy - because I'm thinking they are at eternal peace and have left this hellish world and my dream would be like them. My dream is to just not exist or having a feeling of nothingness just like it was before I was born ( or just be around people who have completed ctb, in our own little world) so that will be my dream

 

[OceanBlue]

Angry that they were birthed and condemned to death, sad that they existed, and relieved that they will no longer suffer.
The feeling of loss is a big part of this forum.