How did he do it..

[doxyquill]

My father hung himself with short drop suspension hanging after a Google search of Robin Williams then just going for it and succeeding.

I've tried so many times to hang myself but SI or just not finding the sweet spot fails me every time, failed CO poisoning by taking too many sleeping tablets causing me to pass out before making sure the co level was high enough, trying to cut my radial artery in the bath but just ending up with a visit to the er and a lot of explaining to do.

How did he do it? How can his first attempt be the one? I honestly admire the courage that must take and envy the determination to go through with it and succeed in finding that eternal peace.

I want to try SN but I know I will pussy out and call for help. Second to that jumping, but every time I stand there and look down I build myself up to do it and just freeze standing there telling myself to jump.

I'm so sick of being sick of not being able to die man. It's fucking bullshit.

 

[jodes2]

So sorry for your loss sorry you want to CTB, I hope you don't go through with it, sometimes life gets better, but I understand if you've just had enough dying is hard

 

[whywere]

My heart broke in a million pieces when I read your post. My extreme condolences go out to you and those around you.

You are a very heartwarming soul and I want you to know that you are a thoughtful and loving soul. I have had 2 attempts and I know what it is like, but you have everyone here on SS as family and friends and I would miss having you here as I have no family nor friends except everyone here.

Sending you lots of hugs, love, kindness, understanding and the knowledge that I care about you deeply. I wear my heart on my sleeve and you are a fantastic person.

Walter

 

[FuneralCry]

I always think the same thing about hanging, it makes it sound so much easier than it actually is when you hear about all these people succeeding with it. I envy those who succeed, as they are free from the burden that is existence, and I understand your frustrations. I hate the fact that dying can be so difficult for us, we really shouldn't have to struggle so much in finding ways to leave, but I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[Meaninglessness]

How did they do it - that is what I also wonder about suicide. Hanging is a complicated method which is used as capital punishment. You will become severely handicapped if the method fails. But there are prisoners who succeed with this method in prison. A successful suicide requires either good luck or careful planning.

 

[Nirrend]

My father hung himself with short drop suspension hanging after a Google search of Robin Williams then just going for it and succeeding.

I've tried so many times to hang myself but SI or just not finding the sweet spot fails me every time, failed CO poisoning by taking too many sleeping tablets causing me to pass out before making sure the co level was high enough, trying to cut my radial artery in the bath but just ending up with a visit to the er and a lot of explaining to do.

How did he do it? How can his first attempt be the one? I honestly admire the courage that must take and envy the determination to go through with it and succeed in finding that eternal peace.

I want to try SN but I know I will pussy out and call for help. Second to that jumping, but every time I stand there and look down I build myself up to do it and just freeze standing there telling myself to jump.

I'm so sick of being sick of not being able to die man. It's fucking bullshit.

Hi sweet @doxyquill

Your story is tragic... I am sorry for your father and also for your suffering ❤

Concerning hanging, I couldn't talk too much about it, I'm too scared myself by such method..

I hope things will get better for you ❤

Sometimes, in desperation, we are driven to commit acts, even those we are least capable of...

Love ❤

 

[damaged_soul]

I feel you. I become extremely jealous when I hear stories about people who kill themselves. I get jealous of how they're able to get it right and have so much courage and dedication. And I feel bad about myself for not being able to do the same.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm sorry about your dad. Man, suicide is hard. Maybe he just got a little lucky? I don't know, but maybe you weren't quite at the place you need to be for ctb. I'm not telling you to do anything, or even suggesting you do, but if you ever try again, CO is a pretty good method (without the sleeping pills) if you take the time and do it right. You shouldn't need the pills if you get the level up above 10000 PPM. I mean we're talking seconds until unconsciousness at that level. Even with everything in order, you still have to enter the tent, so to speak. If you're not quite at that point, where 100% of hope is gone, any method you choose is going to be difficult for you. That hope has to die on its own accord. It's not something you can just extinguish on your own.

 

[wesv]

I'm sorry for your loss. I don't know how old you are, but I can see that you are deeply hurting.

Have you tried talking to someone about your father's suicide? Maybe to a friend, family member, or someone who specializes in these things, like a counselor or a therapist or psychologist who specializes in familial loss and grief.

I also lost a family member to suicide. I was 19. In hindsight, I wish I had talked to someone. At that age, it was very traumatizing for me.

I know it's hard to seek help though, because people tend to be allergic to the topic of death by suicide. Somehow you seem to make them feel uncomfortable and they look at you like they're afraid of you. But you should still try.

Also, please don't blame yourself. It is not your fault. You might feel guilt but it is not your fault. You had nothing to do with your father's death. Please don't let your father's death be the reason why you want to take your life.

 

[doxyquill]

I'm sorry for your loss. I don't know how old you are, but I can see that you are deeply hurting.

Have you tried talking to someone about your father's suicide? Maybe to a friend, family member, or someone who specializes in these things, like a counselor or a therapist or psychologist who specializes in familial loss and grief.

I also lost a family member to suicide. I was 19. In hindsight, I wish I had talked to someone. At that age, it was very traumatizing for me.

I know it's hard to seek help though, because people tend to be allergic to the topic of death by suicide. Somehow you seem to make them feel uncomfortable and they look at you like they're afraid of you. But you should still try.

Also, please don't blame yourself. It is not your fault. You might feel guilt but it is not your fault. You had nothing to do with your father's death. Please don't let your father's death be the reason why you want to take your life.

My fathers death isn't the reason I want to ctb. My own life has fallen apart and is unfixable no matter how much I could try and put it back together. On top of it I'm just sick of the constant battle with my own mind being my own worst enemy.